Friday, December 30, 2005

Should Old Aquaintence Be Forgot....

Well, 2005 is rapidly drawing to a close. And as customary to this time of year, I have spent some moments recently reflecting on the past 364 days of my are some highlights, and things I have discovered in 2005...

I have learned to appreciate my family more than I knew how. After moving back to New England this year, I rememebr why I love and sometimes cannot stand them. But I would rather be near them than far away.

J.K. Rowling is a genius! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was her best book yet. I eagerly anticipate 2006, as she has stated herself that she will begin Book 7.

My children have grown and changed so much this year, it's unbeliveable. They are turning into good kids, with great personalities. Even if I do have hard times with them, I am so glad they are mine. I think I may be doing this Mommy thign right afterall. They make me proud.

I will never underestimate my husband again when it comes to anniversary gifts. His present to me after 7 years of marriage BLEW ME AWAY. He is my rock. He is my lover. He is my best friend. Even if he does piss me off sometimes, I wouldn't be able to make it through life without him.

Thanks to the internet, I have been able to reconnect with friends I never thought I would again. Jen, Sonja and Nessa, especially. I am so greatful for the friendships I have rediscovered this year. And I look forward to 2006 when I get to meet Jen and be Nessa's Matron of Honor for her wedding.

I have aged well, apperntly. My 10 year reunion has taught me that. I also must look better than I thought I do, because I got many compliments, and I also know some guys have been checking me out lately hehe!

My love of Theatre was rekindled this fall. Being in Groton Regional Theatre let me meet some great people, some of whom I keep in contact with still -- right Levine? *wink*

Mvoing from Florida to CT was an adventure. Especially packed up in my little sedan with me, 2 kids, and a cat. I hope I never have to do it again.

Surgery sucks. Especially when you have a health issue that has the possibility of making your life hell. But the drugs for recovery ROCK. And so does finding out your surgery solved your problem!

I have seen some good movies this year. I have seen some GREAT movies this year. I have watched some movies that were total crap. But overall, Movies of the year have been very entertaining.

Celebrities had it rough this year: bad incidents with paparazzi, separations, divorce, cheating, etc. A lot of bad things happened to these people. I guess it's good I am not famous afterall....

Blogging is a great way to meet people all over the world. I am so glad Jeopardygirl inspired me to make my own. I have made some good friends, and met odd, interesting and even jerky people. But this whole experience has been great, and I am happy to continue on.

And now, on to 2006!

Christmas Day Part 2, and the rest of the trip.

Amid a flurry of excitement and wrapping paper, Emily, Kaitlyn and Colby (my cousin who's 6 months younger than Em) unwrapped their presents. They did very well, toy wise, and got some nice clothes, mostly which Emily needed badly. They also got a cool sled for when it snows again. Emily wanted to try it out right away. I tried to explain we needed snow, and colder temperatures (it was 50 on Christmas). Eventually she got the idea. LOL

The only thing Emily was disappointed about was not getting a Dora Talking Kitchen. I told her that maybe Santa couldn't find any in time for her for Christmas, as it was popular. Then I reminded her that her birthday is in 3 months. She got over it fast. I recieved 2 seasons of M*A*S*H on DVD, a book I was dying to get, and TWO sets of the new dishes I asked for. Which made me REALLY happy..gosh that's about it. Hubby got a very nice LL Bean sweater that he needed , and it looks very very sexy on him. He also got a Zippo lighter with the Navy Logo on it. This surprised me, as it was the first time my parents acknowleged we smoke...or that he does anyway. That was pretty cool. We also got a gift certificate to Linda Jeans on the Vineyard, which we used the next day, and $50 gift card for Olive Garden. Bet you know where we're going on New Years Eve, huh?

I left Emily with Colby to play and took Kaity back to "our house" to take a nap, as she was getting ornery and whiny. Then I did some de-boxing of the toys, so there would be more room to pack them in the car when we left in a couple days. Hubby took a nap as well, and I did a little laundry and re organized the suitcases.

When Dinner time came, we had a feast! Turkey, Ham, all the sides, rolls, gravy (though Hubby said later my gravy was better - whatta man!). And an array of desserts. I think I had some of everythign there! I know I had seconds of turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes! Hubby and I talked with my Uncle Ken and Aunt Michelle for a long while, and eventually we cleaned up and headed back to the house. We let the kids play for a while, then sent them to bed. It had been a good day.....

And that was my Christmas Day!

The next day I just hung out at the house did more laundry, folding and packing, the kids played togehter with Colby, and it was all around relaxing.We went to lunch at Linda Jean's, visitied an old friend Jaime, and headed home. That night I met up with a friend from High School (and ex-boyfriend hehe) Eric, and his wife Kristina. We had dinner at the local brewery, and talked, laughed and reminisced about old times, old friends, and everything in between. It was fun, and I really am glad I got together with them. I hope next time we go to the Vineyard, Eric and Kristina will hang out again.

Well the next day, the 27th, we packed up, and headed out. It was not a long drive of course, but Kaity and Emily especially did not want to leave, and they were cranky the whole ride home -- until they fell asleep that is...We got home by 4 and by 5 the car was unloaded and stuff sorted into rooms....It was nice coming home to a fairly clean house...though 3 days later, it again looks like a bomb hit is *sigh* oh well. I know what I am doing for New Years at least!

So that was my trip. It was a good trip. Not too long, not too short, and there were no major problems, fights or anything. I only hope that the next trip I take down there is this good! But as the old saying goes "Be it ever so Humble, there's no place like Home!"

I'll post again later know, the usual End-Of-Year stuff....Later Gators!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Christmas Day Part 1

Well Christmas Eve went off great! Except for church, wehre Kaitlyn would NOT shut up the whole time, and let out a HUGE belch in the middle of the Pastro's sermon. God, I was mortified! Hubby was laughing so hard he was crying, it was just a nightmare. I apologized later to the Pastor for my child, and she was really cool about it:

"I'm sure Baby Jesus wasn't a pefect child either."

I had to laugh at that one. Can you imagine Mary dealing with a 2 year old Jesus!

"Jesus! STOP right now, or so help me, your Father is going to hear about it! And you won't like what he'll do to you, young man!" haha! oh my....that's funny...

Anyway...Christmas Eve the kids stayed at my parents house, while me and Hubby went to the house we were staying at (next door at grandparent's 2nd house). After we got everything in the house, it was insane...Those kids did really well this year.

So Christmas morning I am awoken to the phone rining

"Good Morning."


"Ok, ok baby, we'll be over soon...."

Good lord, those kids flipped out apparently. They were so excited about rpesents...LOL. Well they had to wait for the big stuff, btu we did stockings, and the kids wer able to be satiated with that for an hour or so til we went to my grandparents house where everyone meets. Hubby did good as Santa for my stocking this year. I was surprised, because he kept saying to me I might not like what I got. But seriously? Everythign I got I liked. Hubby is good at this, he underestimates himself.....The kids played withj their stocking stuffers and ate candy while my dad put the turkey in the oven, and Me and Mum loaded pressnts in the car....then we headed over to Grandma and Grandpas......

I'll get started with Christmas Presents later today....I'm back! yay!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Christmas Eve, YAY!

Greetings to you all from Martha's Vineyard! We made it to Woods Hole in record time yesterday, and so made an earlier boat - SCORE!! We had a great time hanging out with my parents and siblings, and had a delicious dinner of Calzones, made by my dad. YUM

Today we went to Linda Jean's Restaurant with my sister for breakfast. The kids are having a great time and Hubby and I even got to go into town alone! YAY! My Mum and Emily just went for a walk on the Lagoon (it's 50 degrees and Sunny! woot!) And now they will make cookies and desserts for tomorrow's dinner. My uncle, aunt and cousin get here this evening, and we will all go to Christmas Eve service together. Emily is so excited to see her cousin Colby. It's all she's talked about for the last 3 days. I will be so happy when they finally get together to play. Then I will get a break from hearing about it! LOL

So far, so good as far as stress, excitement and family annoyance. I am having a good time. Hopefully this will last most of the time I am here. LOL

Hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and I'll check back in in a couple days!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Holiday Quiz Time (for Jeopardygirl)

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise.
But in the end, a cheap letdown.

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list.
You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year.
Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good.
Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Laurie Tagged Me

So today's tag is via Laurie - A cool lady, witha great attitude and fabulous sense of humor. Make sure to visit her blog, and let her know I sent ya! ;)

Todays Theme: "Five things that prove my kid is weird" and here we go...

1. My daughter Emily (the oldest) has an unnatural emotional attachment to her stuffed animals. I mean, she thinks the things have souls. She talks about them (and to them) like they are real people. She FREAKS when I decide to thin some of them out, and has emotional "goodbyes" (we're talking tears and "I'll never forget you!") with each of them before they go in the box to Goodwill.

2. My daughter Kaitlyn (the youngest) aboslutely WILL NOT use the potty unless she is 100% nekkid. Right down to her socks. I am not kidding. It's a production every time. Then as soon as she is done, she needs to put everything back on and flips out if I don't do it RIGHT THEN when she says "All done Mama!"

3. Kaitlyn is smart, and is learning her body parts. However, she will not call a nose, a nose. She calls it a "BEEP!". This stems form when she was younger and we'd touch her nose and go "Beeep!" She calls ALL noses Beeps. "Mama's Beep!" "Daddy's Beep!" I am now trying to fix this, but it's not working quite right. Everything else she knows...but it looks like Beep will be in her vocabulary for a while.

4. Emily LOVES school. I mean really loves it. When she started pre-school last year, and the first few days this year of Pre-K, she would CRY hysterically when she saw me and I said it was time to go home. I had to physically remove her, pry her really, from the door frame of the classroom. I think if they ever had a sleepover at the school, Emily would be in HEAVEN.

5. Emily has a memory that is just...uncanny and weird. Like a very motivated specific memory. She can't remember where her juice cup is, but BY GOLLY, she WILL remember that 3 years ago, you promised to take her to the fair and buy her cotton candy and a blue doggie. And she will remind you every 2 minutes until you get your ass in the car and take her to the fair, or the mall, or Chuck E Cheese, or wherever. She also will remember that you said there was no chips left, and when she gets chips with lunch she will point that out...regardless if you did tell the truth and just went to the store and bought some while she was at school yesterday. As long as the outcome of any statement or action will benefit/affect her, she will remember it with perfect clarity. Right down to where everyone was standing when it happened/was said. But ask her where her sneakers are? "I can't rememebr where I took them off!!" and she only took them off 5 minutes ago. Weird.

So I am supposed to Tag 5 people...uhhhh....

Dick the Boomer

good luck all...and thanks Laurie! :)

I've Accomplished Much, But It Looks Like Llittle

I spent the majority of today doing the dreaded laundry. Yes, lucky readers, I hate doing it, and I procrastinate. I will wash clothes...then I start a clothes mountain. Everyday I dig through the mountain to find clothes for myself, my children, and on occasion Hubby too. All in all, I folded the equivalent of 8 loads of laundry. That was 6 loads already done, and two I washed and folded today. I also decided to go though the 8 boxes of linens lined up against my bedroom wall, sort, condense, fold and re-organise until I have a permanat armoire or cabinet to put them in. Then, I figured I'd start packing. With the exception of toiletries and hair care, Hubby and I are packed. I even got out clothes for us to wear for the next 2 days, just so there is no confusion. Hubby will be pleasantly surprised to see the room when he gets home tomorrow...more on that in a bit...

When Mom & Dad came over yesterday, they brought our presents in these big nifty felt bags that say "Merry Christmas" on them. So I put all the presents for the girls from "Mommy & Daddy" in one, and all the gifts for the family members in the other. I switched out my purse from my "Gone With the Wind" screen print one to my Dooney & Bourke bag. Somewhere in the day I also managed a load in the dishwasher. I am not tired. I want to do more. I am SERIOUSLY considering going through the house and emptying trash & the cat's litter box. But I am leaning towards finishing up Santa Business for Hubby. We are only doing stockings for each other this year. We thought it was more important for the kids to have a good Christmas. Plus he got me a WICKED gorgeous watch for our anniversary back in October, so I don't feel the need to get anything else from him 'til Valentines Day. ;)

So about Hubby: His boat pulled in early by 2 days. We were surprised, but it's a good thing. He got his leave squared away, and I don't have stress about him getting in trouble for going out of state and not showing up to work or whatever. He had duty today, so he's not home. Maybe that's why I got so much accomplished. He wasn't around to suck me into his evil EQ2 vaccuum. I hope he notices the difference in our bedroom. I worked hard on it. Emily was gone most of the day too having gone off to her little friend Justin's grandfather's house with their family. Justin's Grandpa LOVES Emily. Almost every time she's gone there she's come home with a new toy. Today it was 2 new ones *sigh*. And to think I just cleaned out that toybox.....

I dunno why I am telling you all this. I still feel pressure. I know I didn't get some things done today that I needed to, and I did do some stuff on the list for tomorrow.....So maybe it'll all even out in the end....

ok, Present wrapping time...*sigh* Or maybe I'll try to get sleep....

On a side note: I was VERY sad to see Cute Daniel booted from Project Runway this week. I think it should have been Santino. I can't stand that arrogant little bastard. And his designs suck too BTW.....

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Can't Sleep

It's nearly 1 am, and I cannot sleep. I tossed and turned. I tried reading. I watched TV. Nothing is working. Not even my old stand-by of naming US Cities from A to Z. I went through the alphabet twice before I gave up and came downstairs.

I know I have a LOT to do tomorrow and Thursday...that's probably why I can't sleep. So I made lists of everything I need to do and pack for the trip. You know what I noticed? There are not enough hours in the day....and even if I wanted to try and accomplish the things on my list right now, I can't.The Post Office is closed, everyone else is asleep so I can't fold clothes or pack, and it's too damn cold to get dressed to take out the trash...among other things I need to do...

I think the Holiday Stressmobile has made a retun trip to my brain. ugggghhhh.....

Monday, December 19, 2005

Merry Christmas to All

I will be leaving for my Dad and Step-Mum's house in Martha's Vineyard in about 3 days. In that time, I have LOTS to do, and probably will not be online much. My Mom and Step-Dad are coming over tomorrow to exchange gifts with us, and I am excited for that. Then it's cleaning, cleaning, and packing. Oh yes, and Emily has a Holiday party at school tomorrow afternoon. Then finally Friday afternoon we head out. I may be able to use the computer there in MV, or my brother's or my sister's laptops....but nothing is set in stone. And I just may not have the time!

So, seeing as I will be on hiatus until the middle of next week, I would like to wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas. If you celebrate another religion, Happy Hannaukah and Happy Kwanza to you as well!

I am excited about the whole thing. I am nearly done wrapping, having spent a good 2 1/2 hours so far today wrapping the AWESOME pcitures I took of the girls that came in today. This is them - albeit a little smaller of course....They are framed in lovely oak frames, and I think everyone will like them....

Aren't they just the two cutest kids you ever saw??? :) I cannot wait to do all the Christmas Eve traditions with them. I really am getting psyched for the holiday! *SQUEE!!* Hubby is cringing as I post this. He is not a guy who gets very excited about much, so when I get excited, it's enough for two people....hehe...

Well, that's all for now....I'll try to post while I am gone, but if not, see you all when I return!

Merry Christmas!

Love & Hugs To You All,

~Cissa Fireheart

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Sad Christmas Story - Part 3

The Happy Ending

Well, the next day came, and the doctor told me ONE MORE DAY. I couldn;t believe it. Did these people understadn the torture I was going through? And my child. if she wasn't getting better, why didn't they up the antibiotic levels? it drove me mad. And I was insane with boredom. I don;t know how I got through the day, mostly it's blank. I know I talked to Hubby again, and he had said they were leaving Guam to head home. He'd be home in 3 weeks!! The next day came and Emily's doc cleared her to be realeased!!! FINALLY!!! It was a long wait though. We were bored most of the day, but the IV came out, and Emily was able to crawl around the room, entertaining herself and playing with me. My friend Sheila came home from Washington State and was back on Oahu. It was New Years Eve. I got my prescription, and went home. I called Sheila and asked if I could go over and sit with her because the meds were going to supposedly make me nauseated and knocked out possibly, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to care for Emily all drugged up. She agreed and asked why I hadn't called her sooner. We went over, and helped Sheila unpack. Emily played with her 2 boys, and I was thankful my friend was back. I took the little pill, and we went on with our catching up.

A little while later, we got a call that the video tape the guys had made on the boat for 1/2 way night (which had been about a month earlier) finally arrived and would be shown at he COB's (Cheif of the Boat, a chief petty officer, enlisted-not an officer) house. It was going to be a regular New Years Eve party with food, etc. Only those wives whose husbands had made messages were invited. I was so excited! Another friend of ours, Tammy, came over and we all loaded up in 2 cars between us all (4 kids, 3 adults), and headed over to Iroquoi Point Housing. Some of the women (Mostly officer and the Cob's wife) had heard about the whole hospital ordeal, and were very nice about Emily and how she was so sweet to have gone through all of that etc. My friend Betty was there too. When everyone who was supposed ot be there got there, we finally watched the tape. Ed's message was very nice, as most ofthe guys' messages were. Of course we all cried, because we missed our sailors terribly. But it was the best ending to the 4 days of Hell on Earth I had just gone through.

By about 11 pm, Emily, Shiela's boys, and Tammy's daughter were all getting tired. My meds were starting to kick in, and I felt like I was drunk, even though I had declined any alchohol due to the meds. By the time we got back to Sheila's I was barely able to make it to the door from the car. I managed to stay awake through the ball dropping (tape-delayed of course, since it had been Jan 1st in NYC for nearly 5 hours). Soon after I went to bed, the kids long passed out, a smile on my lips that I was in a comfy place, with good friends, and my daughter was once again well.

So that's the Sad Christmas Story With a Happy Ending. I hope you all enjoyed. The reason I chose that story for the Flashback Friday was because on Friday, Emily was sick. I mean she had a cold so bad, she told me she did not want to go to school. This is a child who cannot stand to leave school; if she could, she would sleep there, she loves it that much. She has gotten better over the weekend, thank goodness, and she's only got a bit of a cough now. But Friday got me thinking about how there is always SOMEONE in my family who is sick on Christmas. I had the flu one year and slept through it as a teen, my sister was ill one year, my brother, my mom....I cannot recall ever a holiday where someone did not at least have a cold. Emily's story jumped to my mind first, and I wrote about it. Thansk to all of you for your kind words about the whole thing.....I'll be back to happier topics tomorrow....

Friday, December 16, 2005

Sad Christmas Story - Part 2

So Emily was admited to the Pediactic Wing of Tripler Army Medical Center. The doc said she'd probably be out by the next afternoon. I called a few friends, and the Ombudsman to ask her to get in contact with the boat (this warranted as being important enough for Hubby to know while underway). We had a room to ourselves, which was fine....The thing that WASN'T fine was the "hospital crib" they put Emily in. It was more like an animal cage - bars to the ceiling...she had an IV drip of antibiotics to get stuff cleared up. Tests were scheduled for the next day. About midnight the hospital phone rang. It was Hubby. I told him everything I knew, and tried to remain calm. He only had 3 weeks left of deployment, and I did not want him sent home early. I wanted to greet him with everyone else on the pier, dammit. I could do this!

The first night was hard for me. The ombudsman had brought clothes and a couple books for me. And chocolate. She was a cool lady. Definitely was glad she was there to handle things. The night finally ended about 1 am, when Emily finally fell asleep, albiet uncomfortably, with IV's etc, and not in her own bed....

The next day, a barage of tests were done, to see how well she was taking to the anti-biotics. She also had an untrasound done of her insides. It was apparently not good and I was told, "maybe tomorrow she can go home". They offered to let me go home and they could care for her. Like Hell was I going to leave my child alone! Most of the day I was bored out of my gourd. My friend Betty stopped by, with a couple small toys for Em to play with fromt he house, and some magazines for me. I blew through them. I was bored. Emily was bored. She wanted me to hold her, and the doctors told me not to hold her too much because she wouldn't sleep in the cage - ahem- crib if I did. It was agony. I just wanted my baby to be better so we could go home. And I missed my bed. That hospital pull out thing was hell on my back, and the lights kept me awake most of the time the night before.

About 8 pm that night, Emily started crying. I tried everything to calm her down. Nothing worked - holding her, singing, cuddling....talking, reading books...nothing worked. I was tired. I was worried. This was the same hospital that about 18 months earlier my first child had died in at birth. I started crying in frustration. Then I started screaming and rockign back and forth. I completely lost it. I had a nervous breakdown. I rememeber the whole scene like I was watchign a movie of myself. My mind was gone. I was watching my own downfall. an that scared me even more and sent me round the next bend...

The nurses came in and took Emily from me. She calmed down almost immediately. This did not do well for my nerves, as I saw it as my own child did not want me. They gave me a sedative and told me to sleep - I needed it. What I didn't know, as I fell away to oblivion, was they were callign the psyche ward for an evaluation for me. They also had Family Services on call in case I was deemed unfit to care for my child, until they could get Hubby home from being out to sea.....The next morning I woke and was told that a psychiatrist was coming to talk to me. Great. I then knew they thought I was Looney Tunes. Wonderful. More stress to deal with. I called my friend in Washington State, and told her what was going on. I let her know she was authorized to take Em until Ed got back if it came to that. She was going to be back in Hawaii the next day -- thank god.

So the Shrink comes in. My first sentance - "I think I went a little crazy last night..." It's in my official medical record. I have seen it a dozen times at least. I talked to him about everything. and I mean Everything. He was there for like 3 hours. At the end, he diagnosed me as clinically depressed, and put me on meds. He told me I could get the meds when Emily was ready to check out, and not to take them until I was home because I would be a little nauseated for while. I had scheduled an appointment with him for the next week. He said I was fit to care for my child, but did inform me what the nurses had been up to the night prior after they had me knocked out. He was a good doctor. I hope he's doing well these days.....

OK, so, another boring ass day. Emily was getting better. She was livelier, and wetting diapers. The docs told me she would definitely go home the next day. YIPEEE!! All I had to do was get through the boring ass rest of the day and night. I got another call from Hubby. I told him everything. He was as supportive as he possibly could be while 5,000 miles was all going to be ok.....and I would be home on New Years Eve.

That's the second installment. I'll finish tomorrow......

Flashback Friday -- This week's theme: Christmas!

So I decided to participate in this fun little activity.... And the theme is open - Christmas....anything I have a memory about, that's hard....

I decided to to tell about this: The Christmas Emily Got Sick - it lasts past Christmas, but it is the first thing I could think of....Be prepared. It is not a pleasant story....

It was 2001. Not so long ago. We were living in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. It was 2 months after Spetember 11th. Hubby was out on a 6-month deployment, and would be back in a few weeks. it was also Emily's 1st Christmas. I of course spoiled her...she was only about 9 months old, I had to do SOMETHING crazy....she opened her presents, played with the boxes and wrapping more than the toys, of course...then I made breakfast, and we played some more...called relatives, etc. she went down for her mid morning nap...

When she woke up, a little after I had eaten my lunch, she was clingy. I thought that odd, considering Emily was an incredibly independant child, who liked to play on her own, and was generally a good natured child. now she was being whiny and clingy...and she fell asleep soon after she had her lunch and bottle...VERY unlike her.... I realized she hadn't really had a diaper change, so I nudged her awake to do so. Her diaper was just a little damp. Hmmm...wierd I though...but didn't anything of it until later on. After her secod nap of the day, her diaper was still pretty dry. And she wasn't drinking much juice or formula. or eating really. She was being more clingy than before. She slept with me that night.

The next morning she was lethargic. I couldn;t even gte a smile from her. I called the Clinic on Base for an appointment. I got one for the early afternoon. I had changed her diaper once in the last 2 days, and I didn;t really need it. She was the same clingy and whiny as the afternoon before, only it was more subdued, because it was too much effort for her lethargy. after waiting nearly an hour I finally got Em in an exam room. The docotr came in, didn;t even TOUCH her. Just looked at her and said "Oh she's got a little virus. Give her some tylenol, and plenty of fluids, and she'll be fine." She walked out before I could even tell her abotu the lack of diapers, and her odd eating, or lack of rather. I did get Tylenol, and tried to get Emily to take it, btu she was not interested.

By that night, I had had it. My Mommy insticnt kicked in and I took her to Tripler ER. I waited a long time, and it was ok, becuas they got a real pediatrician to talk to me.....she asked her abotu diapers and liquid consumption. Everything I could think of I told her. Then the doc said she needed to put a catheter in Emily. Because of the holidays, they were short staffed, so I was going to have to hold Emily down while they took blood and put in the catheter. Well that was insane....Emily was screaming like a banshee, flailing, trying to push me and the other orderly off her. Her I am, a young new mother, who's baby is sick, and I am trying to hold her down while tese people invade her body with needles and the like. It was all too much for me. The screaming, crying...then the needle. I could see the world going black. I tried to warn them....

I woke up in a chair nxt to the bed. Emily was still crying, but apparently they got what they needed from her. I was inhaling smelling salts - not pleasant. finally they let me hold her and comfort her. The long wait from the doc on diagnosis was excruciating. Finally the doc comes in.

"You have a very sick baby," she says solemnly while I am cuddling my child, trying to be brave for the both of us.

"Oh my god, she has cancer, doesn't she?!"

"No, no, not that serious, appears she had a bladder infection....and it went untreated, so it's spread to her kidneys, and they are shutting down. That's why she hasn't been filling diapers or eating or drinking. We are going to admit her...."

This gets worse......but that's all I will share about it for today....

To lift your spirits from the Sad Christmas Story....Here's a Picture of Our Tree!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thank You, Taxpayers!

Yes, that's right, U.S. taxpayers get my thanks because Hubby got paid today. YAY! I spent my day doing various things around the house, running errands, getting groceries...and turning cans and bottles for deposit return. In CT it's 5 cents per can/bottle. Amazingly enough, I had $14.60 worth of can's and bottles. I am not quite sure how I got them all into my little sedan, plus me and the youngest kid. But I did!

oh and before I get to mention this:


which means 8 days until I get to drive for 3 hours with 2 hyper children and Hubby, sit in line for an hour waiting to get on the Ferry to Martha's Vineyard, drive on the ferry, and pray that they don't put us on the side so we can get out of the car...wait 45 minutes, then drive 10 more minutes to Mum & Dad's.....The good thing? We'll be home in time for dinner, and Dad's already agreed to make his famous calzones for us. YAY!

The bad part? Christmas. I still have no idea how the heck we are gonna get presents there without the kids seeing them. I better get my ass wrapping...I have entirely too much unwrapped...*sigh*

Hubby's mom and step-dad sent a card today...with a lovely check. I was surprised they sent us so much. The note on the inside of the card was funny though - "Hope this is the right size and color..." I got a good laugh out of it.

Tonight and tomorrow it's supposed to snow...or sleet, or rain...not sure changes all the time....I haven't peeked out the window to see if it's started yet. I don't want to ruin the surprise.... :P

wow, I had more to say than I thought I would. I suppose I'll go take a shower...oh yeah that's another thing about today. Man, living in this house sometimes sucks....ok, so for a long time, we had no heat upstairs -- where the bedrooms are. My kids would wake up with ICE for hands and feet, the poor darlings! I called maintenance... finally we had heat...only it wouldn't turn off. So it was getting to be 90 degrees ALL THE TIME... I was not able to sleep, my kids were sleeping in just a diaper or was terrible. So I called maintenance again. Supposedly it was all set. within an hour I could feel the difference....yay finally! The next morning it was nippy though, so I turned the heat up to 75. Nothing. I cranked it to 90. Zilch. I went to take a shower this morning -- FREEZING COLD WATER!!! I got mad and called maintanace again. At 3 pm someone finally showed up. Apparently the pilot light went out. HOW, I'll never guess. but supposedly it was turned back on and all should be good. Guess what? I forgot to turn the thermostat down...I put the kids to bed -- it's almost 90 again up there! I did turn the heat down...let's see if that works....of course, it wouldn't be a New England winter without SOMEONE taking a freezing cold shower. I guess this year it's my turn *sigh*

On a closing note, I'd like to say....

Don't believe everything you read on the internet or in e-mails. Cause if ya do, I got some prime real estate in Florida I think you should buy! And a bridge in New York too.....

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


For my Co-Agents who support Kay,a British actor who is currently imprisoned in London...I have a large and small version....

For more info, please click on the FREE KAY link on the sidebar.....

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

You know you love your kids when...

...You hear a cry for help (or what you THINK is a cry for help) and take off like a race car.

That's what happened 5 minutes ago.

I was sitting here, on the computer in my morning ritual, reading blogs and chatting with Jeopardygirl. All of a sudden, I hear my Emily scream something. I perk up. My youngest, who is in the livingroom lets out an audible *GASP*. The she yells as I am getting up and dashing for the stairs "HELP SISSY! HELP SISSY!" She follows me in her own little wobbly run.

I flew up the stairs, calling my oldest's name. My first though was, Oh god, did she fall and bang her head? She calls out, ever so innocently "Yeah, Mom?"

I reach the top of the stairs and look into thier room. She's sitting on the bed, watching Blue's Clues.

"Are you ok?" I manage out, breathing hard from my 100 yard dash in 3 seconds.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Mom."

"Why were you yelling, then?" I ask, looking around, making sure there are no tripping hazzards.

"I was telling Joe where the clue was, Mom!" she gives me a look that clearly says Are you ill, or on drugs? You are weird Mom

"Oh. Okay...well, try not to yell so loud at the TV. It scared me and me and Kaity though you were hurt."

"Okay Mom," she replies condenscendinly and rolls her eyes, then her attention goes straight back to Blue & Joe.


Now Emily wants to type some, so here it is....

emily 4 wertyuu mom daddy

she found all the letters herself. I am so proud. Sickening isn't it?

This is SO TRUE! ;)

You Belong in London
A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.No wonder you and London will get along so well.
What City Do You Belong In?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Santa Claus - From Believing to Being

I can't recall exactly when I stopped beliveing in Santa Claus...I think it might have been around 4th or 5th grade. I lived in a neighborhood where there were a lot of older kids, and I think one of them told me it was really my Mom. But for a few more years I played it off, letting my Mom think I still held the magic in my heart. And in a way I did...I mean I never looked at the presents, even though I know where they were hidden. I was genuinely surprised at what I got every year. Until I was about 12 or 13, then I finally told mom I knew it was her, an had known for a couple years. She regarded me with compliments about keeping it alive for her, and asked me not to spill the beans to my llittle brother, who had development issues - and still does to this day. And I kept that promise until I moved out of my house and in with Hubby at age 20.

At my dad's house, however, it was a different story. Once I knew, I always loked for the presents. I thought he was loaded with money, and wanted to see how much he had gotten me. However I never let on, just like at my mom's, and tried to act surprised on Christmas. I managed to pull it off too. Must be that acting ability I have so much of.....around the same age my mom talked to me about Santa, so did my step-mom. And again, I agreed to keep it quiet for the sake of younger siblings. I kept that promise until I knew it was safe and my youngest brother did not believe anymore.

Well, now I am an adult. I have 2 kids. They are 4 and 2. The 2 year old, she doesn't really get Santa yet. Hell, she can barely speak more than 2 sentances coherently, and so, I don't have to worry until year I think, really about going shopping for presents with her with me.She forgets that I bought stuff as soon as it is out of her sight. Next year however it will change. My 4 year, she is OBSESSED with Santa. I mean she talks day and night about him. The issues I had with her earlier in the day were solved by a nifty little website, . I filled in the blanks, and wrote to Santa bout how she has been trying but lately been pretty naughty. Santa "replied" telling her she had to be good, and he was watching her, and honestly, I think it scared her into being good for the rest of the day.

My problem now is presents. I am nearly done shopping for the girls, and pretty much only need a couple outfits for them, and stocking stuffers. My problem is hiding the gifts. The only place I have a little storage at the moment is a little closet downstairs in the main living area. Yep. a tiny 4 X 3 closet thatis already full of stuff. A closet that both girls have tried to go into several times this week. I have been using the excuse that I am afraid stuff will fall on them to keep them out. But I know that in the spring when I do a MAJOR clean-out, that closet will be safe. So I don't know where the heck I am gonna hide toys from them next year. I want to keep Santa alive for them as long as possible. They are only this age once, and the magic of this Holiday will all too soon be lost on outside influences, and maturity. I will cherish the looks on their faces when they see what Santa has brought them...and I want it to last as long as possible.

It's hard to be Santa and the Mommy.....but I hope to be able to pull it off for at least another 4 or 5 years. At least for Emily. Kaity I've got more time, but Emily will grow up sooner than I hope she will. *sigh*


I am about ready to blow the old top...Emily, my oldest, is being an absolute BRAT today:

--she wants toys - every toy that is advertised on television she asks for.

--she wants to color but is grounded from pens, crayons and markers for a month because she and her sister RUINED my coffee table. I'm talking they took pens, dug into my table, then colored it in with markers. and she can't figue out why she's grounded from them now. Serioulsy? I think she gets the "DUH" genes from Hubby.

--she wants to build something so Santa will write her a letter and leave her a little present - I got her lego's out to build with. I told her Santa will probably write her a letter, but she can't expect presents all the time. She cries, but starts to build anyway

--she didn't want to share the lego's with her sister. I told her if she can't share, she can go to her room.

--she then tells me that she wishes Kaity was never born and she hates her. I tell her not to say that because it's mean, and she loves her sister, she's just angry.

--so she throws a temper tantrum. I tell her to go to her room. She refuses. I have to break out the wooden sppon and threaten her with it becuase she willnot listen

It's arcane and barabaric, but you know what? I've only had to whip her bottom with it once for it to scare her enough that as soon as I reach ofr it, she obeys and behaves. I cannot force her to respect me, no matter how hard I try. Maybe it's me. I'm not the world's best mother by any means. I try to be good, but it usually backfires, and the kids end up acting like spoiled, selfish brats.

It's going to be a looooong day with her. I am so glad school starts in two hours. I can feel my hair turning grey from this morning....

I wonder if I should even bother to make that letter from "Santa". Will it encourage her to still be selfish? Will it make her to see that she can be rewarded eben if she's bad? I'm torn. I want her to know that "Santa" it watching her, and her behaviour as of late is NOT tolerable for me or "Him".

I need a vacation from this Season.....*sigh*

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A Change would do you good....

Well I've done it...this Blog has a new name, and new tag. I am happy with the layout. FINALLY everything is good in my blog corner of the internet .A VERY BIG THANK YOU to Dick the Boomer. The name was his idea. Simple but fitting. I can't believe I didn't come up with it myself! Thanks again Dick!

It's been a pretty quiet weekend. Snowed on Friday...we got sleet/snow, so it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. New England got hit hard, but SE connecticut was stukk un the middle of a rain storm and snow storm...resulting in less snow, more ice, and slush....Most of my day yesterday was in bed, watching movies, or hanging out with the family. I had no desire to venture outside unless I absolutely had to. And I didn't have to, so I stayed in bed! hehe

Tomorrow is school, thank God, because my oldest is driving me batty. I can only do so much with her before I get incredibly bored, incredibly annoyed, or down right pissed off with her whinging....if I hear "Mom I want THAT for Christmas" one more time....well my fears that she will not be happy with her presents is already creeping into my mind and finding a good spot to settle. Soon it will be festering with obnoxious fear and regret. Sometimes I hate Christmas...

I got to sleep in yesterday morning, for the first time in ages. Hubby got up with the girls. It was nice. I still could sleep like 20 hours more though...I think I have Mono. I never seem to have enough sleep....*sigh*

Hope everyone is having a decent weekend. I am gonna go back to bed, I think....

Friday, December 09, 2005

Looking for a New Name - Taking Suggestions

So, I decided that my blog name is a little common. Jeppardy girl and I threw names around for a while, but couldn't come up with anything that really jumped out at me..

So I am asking you, dear readers & friends, to help me with a new blog name....keep these thigns in mind when coming up with ideas:

1.) I'm a wife and mother, but that's not my SOLE focus of the blog, although I do post about the fam often

2.) My blog is my venting area, my thought module....

3.) I want somethign unique, but not totally random...

Hell, just send me any ideas...I'll consider them all :)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Why I am Not a Gardener

See this bug? This is a North American Assasin Bug. It's actaully about this big ----------- in actual size. It's kinda like a bee. It flies a little, and is brightly colored....and is supposedly good for the life of a flower, etc.... Except it attacks for no reason....last spring, while in Florida still, I was attempting to go from Black thrumb to Green thrumb once again. I was spraying the box in front of my house designated by housing for a garden. Well this fucker didn't like the herbacide, and jumped on me, crawled up my baggy-crappy-housework shirt, and bit me -- 3 times. I yelped, and began to flutter my shirt to get the bee (or so I thought) out of my shirt. the bug fell out, and I rean into my house.

The areas it bit (and two places were in my chest area, mind you) started to swell -- much like a bee sting. I took some benadryl, found the damn thing, and bagged it.

I never saw a bug like that before. Neither had any of my neighbors. Scared that it was a posionous bug, I called the Endotologist at the Florida State Univeristy branch in town. I described the bug to him (it was now in a baggie, in a tupperware container outside on the back patio) He asked some questions. I answered. He told me what it was, and said rather glibly:

"It's a good thing it's not the South American variety -- you'd be dead by now."

Yeah THAT made me feel better. It also turned me off from gardening. So I have a black thumb -- oh fucking well. They have people who are good at that shit. They are called Landscapers. Or Professional Gardeners. If I REALLY want a garden, I'll hire one of them.

I also learned that next tiem I need to go outside for yard work, I will wear a tight t-shirt. Bugs can't crawl up or fly into a shirt that is plastered to your body. Although they may sting thruogh it, but I am not about to test that theory. If it happens, it happens. And if I do get stung or bit through my tight t-shirt, it will be a good reason to never go outside again.

I post about this because Jeopardygirl and I were discusing gardening, and I promised to show her the picture and tell the now you all know!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

More Meme Moments

So Jeopardygirl wants me to play this...and I will happily oblige....

3 names I go by:

3 screen names I have:
~Cissa Fireheart

3 physical things I like about myself:
~My hair
~My breasts
~My legs

3 physical things I don't like about myself:
~My "pooch" (abdomen area above my pubic line, and below my navel)
~My feet
~My lips

3 parts of my heritage:

3 things that scare me:
~Thunder/Lightning storms
~Driving on the highway
~The thought of my husband/children dying

3 of my everyday essentials:

3 of my favorite musicians:
~James Taylor
~Otis Redding
~Jimi Hendrix

3 of my favourite songs:
~La Vie Bohem from RENT
~Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith
~Sweet Baby James by James Taylor

3 things I want in a relationship:
~Freedom of though/actions

3 lies I tell:
~Maybe You can get that for Christmas
~Yes Dear, I heard you
~Yes, I know who he/she is

3 physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
~upper body structure

3 of my hobbies right now:
~Family Support Group Cookbook
~EverQuest 2 video game

3 things I want to do really badly now (with a special someone):
~Cuddle in bed
~Sit in the living room with the lights off and look at the tree
~Hit with a snowball for the first time (hehe - good thing He doesn't read my blog ;P )

3 careers I've considered doing:
~Professional Actress
~Executive Administrative Assistant
~Radio DJ

3 places I would like to go on vacation to:
~England - all of it

3 kids names I like:

3 things I want to do before I die:
~Have a REAL wedding - lotsa people, big dress, etc.
~Become a grandmother
~Go on a tour of the British Isles and see EVERYTHING I can

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical guy:
~I swear profusely
~I watch porn as a pre-amble to sex on occasion - voluntarily
~I like tools/home improvement stuff

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical girl:
~ I like to cook, and I am good at it!
~ I like things to be pretty in my home
~ I love to dress up in cute/sexy outfits to go out with my man

3 people I would like to see take this quiz: (but they don't have to!)
~ JaneyGrrrl
~ Dick the Boomer
~ The Hubby

I'm Just a Blog Machine

So when I get down on myself about something, or have a really big event to attend, I change SOMETHING in my life...

Today's change is going to be the blog layout. I must admit, that while I do like this blog template, the fact that it veers incerdibly to the left bothers the hell out of me.

I just also fixed Jeopardygirl's Blog as well, because, well...when I tried to spruce that up with a fancy-schmancy template, it looked a little out of whack as well.

What have I learned? Simple is better...not only that, it's a hell of a lot easier!

Check back here later in the day to see the change to a simpler, and somewhat brighter, template :)

Toys or Telephone?

Well all, Christmas has readred it's pretty head. I was getting into the season. I bought cards and started on them. I put up the tree with the kids last night...amid shrieks of happieness and candy cane fueled hyperactivity. Last week I was faced with a dilema:

I had to start the shopping. I have 2 car payments in the middle of the moneht so the big chunck of Hubby's pay goes to that. And insurance. I had about $250 to spare. Should I pay the phone bill, and hope the phone stays connected tilthe 15th, or start shopping for the kids? I am sure you can all figure out what I chose.

I was planning on spending another $50 - $100 on clothes for them next paycheck. Now I will not. My phone is off...and will stay off until the 15th. *sigh*

So I am a bit down. I hope no one important tries calling me. Fuck. I knew in my heart I should have paid the bill. But I want my kids to have a good Christmas. Ever since the Christmas before Kaity was born when I had only 2 things under the tree for Em and they weren't even from me. (a VERY WONDERFUL friend sent a care package so that my child would have presents on Christmas, since I had spent all our money on moving into a new apartment only 4 days shy of the actual Holiday) I didn't even buy that much this year, really -- prices of things are insane.

So I guess the good thing is my kids will be happy on Christmas morning. The bad thing? I don't have a phone for 9 days. Damn it all to hell.

WHY did I spend so irresponsibly? When I KNOW that the phone bill was already late? What posessed me? I am a Christmas junkie, and I want my kids to be happy. Stupid me.

I want to bang my head on my keyboard, but I already have a headache and am stressed. And it's only the 6th! AAARGH....


Sunday, December 04, 2005

Tagged Again

Laurie tagged me for the 10 odd/random facts here they are....

1. I cannot stand the smell of cigars. I litterally gag or feel automatically nauseated at the sight of them -- this is odd because I smoke cancer sticks, don't ya think?

2. Ironically, I LOVE the smell of a tobacco pipe. I had a freind in college who smoked one. I eventually got my boyfriend at the time to do it, cause I loved the smell so much.

3. I cannot drink my morning beverage (tea, coffee or Coke products depending on my mood) without having the urge to smoke a cigarette. I littlerally get the heebie I CRAVE the nicotine with the taste of my drink. Quitting is going to suck after the New Year -- especially in the mornings

4. I hate peas from a can or frozen, but fresh peas in a pod are great to me.

5. my two index fingers are not straight. they curve inward to my other fingers that are shaped fine. when I hold them next to eachother, they look like a fork in the road curving away from each other.

5. I cannot fall asleep without attempting to name U.S. cities/towns from A to Z. It relaxes me for some reason. Otherwise, I toss and turn and cannot sleep.

6. I am afraid of cockroaches and really any bugs, due to something that happened to me as a 6 year old. I will share that another day.

7. I still have almost every note, letter, and picture that boyfriends gave me since age 15.

8. I can throw trash from accross the room to a garbage can -- and make it in 99% of the time, no matter where I throw from.

9. I went to Disney World for the first time when I was 17. I got to take a picture with my family and Mickey Mouse. I cried because I met him.

10. When watching that great Rankin/Bass production of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" even to this day, at age 28, I STILL cry when the mean little snot-bag reindeers won't play with Rudolph and make fun of him.

OK time to tag 5 people. If you've done it before -- too it again!

Bilingual Blah Blah
Rebecca- Just a girl

Let It Snow Part Duex

Well, Mother Nature did NOT skimp on the snow this time. I was awoken as per usual to the sound of kids making noise while they watched TV in their room. I got up, walked in their room, glanced at the window and gasped.

"What?" Emily asked with wide eyes. I don't gasp alot around her, apparently.

"Em, look outside!" I exclaimed and pointed at the window with glee. She jumped off her bed and looked out the window.

"SNOW!!" She cried out in delight and loooked around at me. "Can we go outside and make Snow Angels?"

"SNOW!" Kaity cried, standing up on her bed to see what we were so excited about. "OOOH Look Mom! Snow!"

"Yes Baby, it's snowed! You guys can go play in a little bit, ok?"

"OK MOM!" they chorused in unison.

Since then, I have not had a moment's peace about the snow. In the course of an hour that I cleaned the kitchen (BEFORE even turning ON the computer -- *gasp again*). I was asked for a sled, how many layers of clothing they would need, and if we were still going to put up the tree today. I amswered questions, got them breakfast, and even managed to get a load of dishes in the dishwasher, take the trash out, and make my tea -- which I am now sipping while I watch the snow flakes fall only 10 feet from me. I can't help but think about the irony of the whole thing.

Irony, you ask? Yep, irony. For it was a mere 12 hours ago, Hubby and I were talking about snow. Let me explain.....

Friday afternoon, my mum called from Martha's Vineyard, letting me know about her weekend shopping schedule. They (Mum and Dad) were gonna go to La Salette Shrine on Saturday evening with some family and friends. I expressed an interest in this, saying how the kids would love it. This catholic shrine has over 250,000 lights at christmas time, and it's gorgeous. I have many fond memories of the place during the holidays throughout my childhood. It's only an hour and a half drive, and so I told Mum that I thought the kids, Hubby and I would be able to meet them there. Mum was estatic. I was getting excited too. My bad mood that I wrote about earlier that day was looking to be a little bit better.

Saturday my kids ambushed me when I attemtped to have computer time in the morning. needless to say, I didn't get to blog that I was feeling better, and was going on my little excursion to La Salette. Thanks for the comments BTW on that, all. It's nice to know someone cared! I bundled us al up in about 3 layers of clothing, since it was about 30 degrees at 2 pm. I knew it was going to be a cold night and decided layers was a good idea. We left CT around 3:30. We made it to La Salette -- near Attleboro, MA in an hour flat. And Mum thought it would be too long a drive - hehe.

We parked, met up with family and friends - some of whom I hadn't seen in a long time, and early had a heart attack at the fact that I had children, one who is almost 5! I nearly had a heart attack that my cousin John, whom I last saw about 10 years or so when he was a kid, is now 18 and driving! That was freaky for me.

So we walked aorund, saw the lights, ooohed and ahhhed, and nearly froze to death (it was about 25^ F last night - the coldest it's been in a LOOOONG time for our family -- we've lived in Hawaii and FL the last 6 years ).I was REALLY glad I dressed me and the kids in layers. Hubby was cursing himself for not following out trend LOL. Then we all went to dinner, and had a nice time visiting. My Dad and Mum were happy to see us and the girls, and I was glad to see them. I even am looking forward to Christmas on the Vineyard, since we talked about everything that is happening there this year.

So, about 9:30 pm we got in the car and started to drive back to CT. We talked about a bunch of stuff, of course, and then the topic got steered to snow. I said how it was weird that it hadn't really snowed yet, as usually it snows at least twice before the beginning of December. Hubby joked that maybe it wouldn't snow at all this year. New England sure got plenty of it last year. I disagreed and said it would snow, eventually, though it it held off until after the evening we arrived on the Vineyard so we have a White Christmas, I would not complain. Then I joked that we probably were jinxing ourselves, since we even brought it up. We laughed. We got home, the kids went to bed, and Hubby and I played EverQuest 2 for a little while before I finally went to bed.

Which brings us to this morning. And the snow. I think I really DID jinx us, seriously. Looking outside, I'd say there's about 2 inches at the moment, maybe a little more. The kids are trying to be patient about going out, and I am trying to enjoy my tea. And share the last 2 days with you all. But tempers are already running thin, and my time of relaxation is running out....

After I end this, I am going to get dressed, go to the store, get a few things -- including snow pants for the girls-- and come back, letting the kids run outside and enjoy the snow for a little while. I may even enjoy it myself! I felt giddy at the first sight of the snow. Memories flooded back to me of winters in New England, it was like I never grew up. I almost agreed to letting the kids go out first thing in the white stuff! That's how affected I am by it.

The only bad thing about this? I just bought snow boots for the girls for Christmas on Friday afternoon. It's a good thing I didn't wrap them yet, I suppose.

Friday, December 02, 2005

No rest for the weary

got like 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night thanks to kaitlyn's odd sleep pattern yesterday. Not a happy camper... not to mention it topped off an evening wasted by idiots in EverQuest 2....I am cleaning....burning off all my negative enrgy. I want to put up my tree tongiht, and by god, this fucking house will be clean or heads will roll.

did I mention I'm in a bad mood thanks to my youngest and her preventing me from sleep? I am surprised I am even coherent today.

If you've talked to me on IM, E-mail or whatever -- sorry for being moody and snappy. I need to get out of this funk....maybe when Hubby comes home from work I'll attack him and screw his brains out for the hell of it. then I'll take a nap...probablty not though...a good screw sounds good though right now, cause I have so much anger...Nothing spells relief like A_N_G_R_Y__S_E_X....

I feel manic today. just ignore me....litterally Rambling today......lkhsfuiyeiubvjklasnrifugwibhklxnkfhsohoelfnajseslgnjldkn....that's what I feel like...all jumbled up and crazy...

ok cleaning....later people....

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I'm the Cat and YOU are Curiosity...

I have this great little program on my blog that tells me wehre people are visiting my blog from. It also tells me about where people have come from prior to my blog and where they go after they are done reading about my life and all it's greatness, or lack thereof.

I've had visitors from Russia, Japan, Korea, Austrailia, just to name a few....but there are a few people who visit my blog who don't leave comments, and some of their domains freak me out

For example, there is someone from the domain in Rhode Island who visits ....not always often, but enough times that I have noticed. Who are you I hope you aren't trying to bust me for OPSEC violations. I'm smarter than that, afterall....I barely ever mention the Navy. I don't think I've ever mentioned Hubby's boat name or hull number...I'm safe, right?

Another thing that freaks me out is people who come to here from somewhere else...I go to the "referring blog" and see no sign of my blog being how the heck did they get here??? I'm curious like that I suppose. I know I am not as popular as some blogs, heck , real popular ones I have on MY list on the right...but most of them don't have ME on their lists....odd...

So people, feel free to let me know how you got here in that little comments link below this post....the curiosity is killing me...MEOW....

p.s. the kitty is my cat Buddy...ain't he cute? ;)

Picture Game

Straight from google image the answers to these questions, and hen put in the first picture. well...a couple were the second or 3rd, becuase the first was PORN...and I ain't doing that right now....

Feel free to do this on your blog, if you have one, and link back to me :)

The Town you were born in:

The Town you live in now:

Your name:

Your grandmother's name: (I have 4, but I picked the first one that came to mind)

Your favorite food:

Your favorite drink:

Your favorite smell:

Happy Birthday Jane!

One of my oldest (I mean, I've known her a pretty long time, not that she is old --she's younger than me technically) and dearest friends JANE catches up to my age today!! Not gonna say how old we are, it will only reaffirm our creep towards a milestone age, which shall remain NAMELESS...

so, anyway, JANE, even though you have to work today, think of Tuesday as your birthday present, when you come to CT and visit with me and the kids -- and maybe even Hubby, if he's home from work early...


Wednesday, November 30, 2005

One of THOSE days

So, Emily spent the night at a friend's house last night. She doesn't have school today. She never does on

Me and Hubby stayed up til 1 am last night, but even then, I could not get to sleep until about 2. Kaity woke up at 7 am. Rememebr that Radar she has? Today she used it....

So the weather is crappy, I'm tired, and to top it all off Kaity has been a royal pain...which is not normal. If her sister isn't around, she's usually a joy. Weird...

So I decided to get off my ass and make the boat reservation for Christmas for the Vineyard. Damn thing won't take my Visa Checkcard. So I try Hubby's. Nope, won't take that either. I am going to have to call them now, which displeases me greatly. Why have reservations online if you won't take my damn card?

I'm gonna swear now - cover your virgin ears, or eyes rather...


I hate it when stuff doesn't go my way...

On a totallly different tangent...I am talking to Janey on Yahoo. So that makes me happy :) She's gonna come visit next Tuesday. I'll take pictures! YAY

ok, ok, to end this post..

oh one more thing. I said I was gonna review RENT. Weeeeellll, I am an idiot and forgot that I promised Jess, my neighbor, that we would go togeher. So I am gonna go with her again on Saturday. THEN I will review it....I don't want to ruin it for her, cause she reads the ole blog I'll get to see it again *SQUEEE* Can I say it was great? ok? It was great. I can say that. Jess can't get mad at me for that, can she? ;)

alright...ok, ending the post now....

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Going to see RENT today

Finally! I am going to go see RENT in the theatre . Mom is over, Emily is going to her friend's house after school, so I am going to a matinee of RENT....I cannot wait....I have been sining the soundtrack for oh...about 5 days now...I love it!

I'll review it later...maybe...LOL

Monday, November 28, 2005

Class of 1995 Reunion

Sorry it's taken me so long to update..I know some of you have been anxious to read how it all went...but I blame technology, or rather the lack of it on my computer yesterday when I got back from Rhode Island. I also want to add to those of you who are reading this for the first time (some of my old classmates) I don't use my real name on this blog very often. I try to keep SOME level of anonyminity on the internet these days. Anyway--Sorry for the delay...without further ado, The Reunion....

Well, I got to Nessa's house on Saturday about 1 pm. We spent the afternoon reminiscing, looking through yearbooks, and trying to figure out who was going to come and who wasn't. About 4:30 we started to get ready. I had a glass and a half of wine to calm my nerves. Nessa had two. We needed it - we had the jitters!

I had tried on both outfits earleir, and Nessa also agreed the purple suit was the outfit I HAD to wear. So, with lots of giddiness I got dressed and did the make-up, Nessa and I switching back and forth between the bathroom and the vanity. We looked HOT! Here's are the pictures to prove it!

The long 10 minute drive to the place of the reunion was filled with excitement and antici----pation. This was it, we were almsot there. We got out, fixed ourselves as best we could, took deep breaths....and went to the door. We walked in, and someone immediately recogized me.

"Oh my god, Cissa Lion!"

Yes, I got that a lot Saturday night. Some from people who I thought would not remember me from high school. Some who I never thought would even show up. It was great to see so many people changed, and more often than not, for the better. Everyone was so nice, and happy, and we all had great walks down memory lane. Some people who I thought would never remember me, were so happy to see me. It was just -- flabbergasting to see so many who I discovered being such amazing people that ngiht. I took a few pictures. The ones I am posting are only a few of the ones I took that night....

I think the highlights of my evening though were two things. FIRST - the best substitute teachers EVER in the history of substitute teaching made a surprise visit -- The Floris! They are twin brothes who dressed like 70's Elvis, and they NEVER did what was planned by the teachers. Or they'd give us the answers to the work that was left, or they's let us sit around and play cards, or something else. It was always a great day to walk into class and see one of them at the desk!

Then when the Floris had been cheered for their presence, the raffle was held. A lot of gift certificates to restaurants, and other places. You could tell how "popular" people were, or rather how well they were remembered by how loud they were cheered for when they won. Some barely got claps. Some got a little noise. A few got real loud cheers. There were some nice prizes, and a few people I knew won stuff! :)

But the piece de resistance was tickets to "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at the Providence Performing Arts Center. Not jus any tickets though. ORCHESTRA 8th ROW tickets! All night, that was the only thing I wanted to win. I prayed and prayed I would get them -- AND I DID!!!! I could not believe it! I still can't. I take the tickets out every few minutes and look at them still - even 2 days later. The best part of winning them? well...remember what I said about the cheering? When I went up to claim my tickets, the guy running the auction, Jay, says "Alright! It's Cissa Lion everybody!" MY GOD, DID THEY ROAR FOR ME!!! I could not believe it. The whole experience was surreal....and so much fun!

I ran into so many people that night, I wish I had gotten all their e-mail addresses. Some of you who came to read this becasue you got an e-mail , I would like to say that it was such a great, great experience to see you all again! I hope we can all keep in touch this decade around. Now that you have visited here, you know where to find me!

I have to say, without a shred of doubt, that my high school reunion was definitely than Bon Jovi could have ever been. I am so glad I went. I am so glad I saw so many people who broguth me wonderful memories that night. I cannot wait to see you all again like that....There was talk of a 15 year reunion, I think. Anyone else gonna go? I'll be there!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Out Tonight

Nope, not just spouting a "RENT" song title....but that's how I feel.

I wanna go-o, Ow-oooooot toniight!

Today is the day. This is the night I have been waiting 10 years, 5 months and 10 days for. This is Reunion Night.

I am packed. I got my camera, my extra batteries. Clothes for the kids, clothes for me. diapers, toiletries, make-up -- everythign I caould think of needing. Anything I forget -- well RI has a Wal-Mart too!

I even have 2 new CD's for the drive up. RENT Motion Picture Soundtrack and Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack. Both are awesome. Both will put me in the mood for tongiht.

I am nervous, excited, happy, anxious, all in one. I have butterflies and I have a small headache. I had nightmares plague me all night. It was like watching "Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion" in my dream. Except I was Romy, and Nessa was Michelle. It was not a good sleep. But that's OK. It can only be as worse as my dream. Unless someone drops dead, only then could it get worse.

So I will not be posting until tomorrow afternoon when I get back form Rhode Island. I leave in about 3 hours to head to Nessa's Place, do some reminiscing, get ready, and go.

I hope that everything goes well, and I have a great time tonight. Afterall, I passed up going to see Bon Jovi tonight at Mohegan Sun to go to this! ;)

Friday, November 25, 2005


Yesterday was a long day for me. It started at 7 am when I awoke and prepared to feed the bird...errr, stuff the turkey and get it in the oven. But before I got that done, I opened the curtains on all the windows. I like natural light. The pictures you see are what I was greeted with yesterday morning. I let out a loud gasp and ran upstairs to tell Hubby, who of course, was still sleeping.

"IT SNOWED!" I yelled into the bedroom. This of course, woke the kids, who both ran downstairs to see thier first snow.

There was only a dusting of white, and it wasn't even an even dusting. Patches of white here and there. Some had already begun to melt. It all melted eventually, and the sun came out. If it had not been for the cold temperature, yesterday was a beautiful day.

I worked my ass off in the kitchen. I did almost everything entirely by myself. I even had to stop twice, to get my step-dad from New London, and my mom from her work parking lot where she gets shuttled to here in Groton. I set the table, I got drinks, I baked the Brown 'n Serves. I put everything in serving bowls. Hell, I even woke Emily up from her nap to get her downstairs for dinner. It was delicious. Possibly the best turkey I have ever made, I swear. My potatoes were creamy and well seasoned/buttered, and my stuffing was exactly as I remember my grandmother's (I got her recipe). Even my dessert was delicious. I really was proud of my cooking for the first time -- truly -- yesterday. I pulled off Thanksgiving Dinner 99% by myself. I felt so awesome about it.

Well dinner was done. Hubby had not done much all day but sit at the computer and/or yell at the kids. I had to practically beg him to help me with a couple things I needed a third hand with. Otherwise, he did nothing to help. I asked him numerous times to do the dishes. they did not get done. I went upsatirs to lay down, because I was feelign dizzy and tired. I told Hubby to wake me when my parents were ready to go (I knew it wouldn't be long). I secretly hoped maybe he'd take them home for me -- since I had done so damn much that day, and was feeling lousy. Or maybe when I got home from dorpping them off, the dishes would be done. No such luck. He didn't do a damn thing. So I banged around the kitchen, cleanign up, and making a point of muttering loudly enough for him to hear about how tired I was and how all I had asked of him all day was an extra hand a couple times, and how he should be doing this -- not me.

He said to me "I figured I would do it tomorrow"....yeah do it tomorrow...bullshit. So I filled the dishwasher and ran it. I left stuff soaking in the sink. I will put money down on the fact that those dishes will be in my sink still when I go to bed tonight. Meanwhile, I have a list of things to get done and packed for tomorrow.

Oh, did I mention Hubby stayed up til past 4 am playing his video games which he had been playing all day as it was, save for the 45 minutes he tore away to eat, and then shirked his dishes duty for? yeah....Does anyone else fell I am justsified in my anger with the Hubby?

I better get some roses today or something.....

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Things to Be Thankful For

Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States, for those of you all who visit from other coutnries. We Americans celebrate the day with turkey, stuffing, family dysfunction (well some people do), and thinking about the things we are Thankful For. Like so many others, I felt the need to add my Thankfuls for this year....

I am thankful for my immediate family. I love my husband and children. I may have little patience with them all sometimes, but I wouldn't want life without any of them.

I am thankful for my parents, both sets. They love me very much, and that is more than some people get. I sometimes take them for granted, but they are all great people. My in-laws are also great epople, and are 3rd and 4th sets of parents to me. They've welcomed me into their families and lives, and I am thankful for that.

I am greatful for my siblings, no matter how annoying or spoiled some may be.

I am thankful for my friends. Espicially my internet friends. One in particular is Jen. She has been my friend for over 5 years. She has shared my joy, pain, frustrations, and laughter. She is an awesome woman, and I am blessed to have her in my life, even if it's only through the computer. There are some days she keeps me sane. And some days she keeps me alive with her outlook of things. She is the one who inspired me to start a blog, and meet some more great people on the internet. Most of them are in my links list. I am greatful for you too, Sonja, Dick & Laurie.

Finally I am Thankful for my life. As I ready to go to my 10 year high school reunion this weekend, I realize that even though it hasn't been perfect, my life has been full of adventure for the last 10 years. I have been more places and done more things than I thought I ever would in my whole life. I am thankful for the experiences; the pain, sorrow, joy, happiness and everything in between. I truly am blessed by God for ALL that He has given me.

Happy Thanksgiving to You All. May your turkeys be juicy, your mashed potatoes creamy, and your cranbery sauce sweet, yet tart!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I just found a reason to Quit Smoking

I am a smoker. Yep, I admit it. I smoke cigarrettes. I have always quit for pregnancies, but baring the nearly 3 years I was pregnant total, I have been smoking for 15 years. I have tried quitting in the past. Usually around the 3 or 4 month mark, soemthing will happen that sends my stress levels into the atmosphere, and my will will break and I go back to the cancer sticks. I know the risks I am taking. I know I am addicted. I know I should quit for my health, but sometimes, that isn't a feasible reason to me. I'm sure lung cancer vicitms and survivors are rolling in their graves and cursing my name (respectively of course) already. But it's my truth.

Today I found my reason to quit and stick with it. Eight-thousand reasons, actually.

If I quit smoking, I can donate my reproductive eggs to facilities who help women who cannot have children with their own. There are quite a few reputable Clinics in Connecticut who will pay non- smokers quite well for their eggs. $8,000 per cycle to be exact!

Now, let me calrify a few things. First of all, I am done having children. I don't want anymore, nor does Hubby, and so he got fixed. I am good to go, however, reproduction-wise. I am a very fertile woman. All it takes is Hubby looking at me funny and I would be able to get pregnant. Seriously. I am not doing anything with my left-over eggs, excppet expelling them naturally every 28 days. What a waste. There are thousands of women out in the world, millions probably, who for some reason or another, cannot reproduce. And ya know what? They want children - badly. Who am I, to deny a fellow woman the right to do the one thing she couldn't do otherwise? I have know a few women who have recieved InVitro Fertilization from donated eggs and their husband's sperm. They have had healthy, normal, beautiful children. It's wonderful what modern science can do. I would be more than happy to give my eggs to a woman who could use them. I know I am not using them, after all. And the best part? I would be compensated for this. Quite a large amount of money, in fact. It's a win-win situation for everyone involved!

So, even though it is Thanksgiving Eve, I now have my New Year's Resolution. I am going to quit smoking. I am going to find out how long I have to have quit in order to be eligible to be tested to give my eggs. Hopefully I will be able to do this. By this time next year, I could be helping women to concieve children. And get a nice little chuck of change in return for my fetility.

This may sound glib to some of you, horrendous to others, but I am feeling quite strongly about it. I hope it works out....

A Bribe From Nana

So my mom is over here working on her laundry right now. She had loaded the washer and come down, with a triumphant smile on her face.

"Let's see if this deal works!" she says, her grin so wide it's freaking me out.

"What deal?" I ask, already wary. My mom is sneaky sometimes.

"I told Emily that if she cleans up her room in the next 2 hours, puts everything in its place, and not just sweep it under the beds, I'd give her $5 bucks."

"What?! Way to go mom, you've bribed her," I say with a groan.

"This isn't the first time money's solved a problem," she says a giggle in her voice.

"WHAT??? You NEVER paid me to clean my room! Not once!"

"Yes I did! It always worked, too!"

"Bullshit, I'd have remembered something like that!"

"I'm telling you, Cissa. I used to do the same thing with you." She then walks away to sit on the couch and bask in her glory of one-upping me.

Now, I pride myself on having very vivid memories of childhood. I don't remeber EVERYTHING of course, but I remember a lot of stuff. For example: I remember the time she actually handed me a screwdriver (the drink) at 16, because I was having a very, very, very rough day emotionally and socially. She would actually refill the liquor cabinet when the vodka was gone. She had to have known she wasn't drinking it all. But there was ALWAYS vodka to make my screwdrivers. It's how I survived 11th grade. THAT I remember.

I remember how she used to take me to my favorite Chinese Restaurant in Providence, once a month. Just the 2 of us. It was my favorite thing to do with my mom. Eat chinese and window shop Downtown. I recall the restaurant with absolute clarity. We used both order the same thign every time. Boneless chicken. It came with AWESOME fried rice, and this gravy they used-- to die for. The rolls were awesome too. god I wish that place hadn't closed....I have never found a place since then that has compared to it.

I remember toast and tea in the morning in the winter for breakfast. Every morning at 6:30 she would wake me up, and by the time I was up and dressed, she was bringing breakfast to me. Every Thanksgiving, or rather the day after, we would drag out the fake tree, and put it up. Decortae it, lights, everything. It was tradition, and she'd always complain about the lights that blew out, and we'd hunt down the offending bulb together.

But I do not recall her EVER paying me to clean my room. I lived in that room for 13 years. If it ever happened, I know I would remember it. I rememebr cleaning my room, and most of the time moving furniture around for a change of scenery in the room. I remember it would take me a whole day and half the night, but I never stopped til it was done. I remember all that. But not once did I recieve monetary compesation for my work.

Hubby has just come home for his lunch break. I had Mom tell him why Emily is cleaning. She just said, her smirk plastered accros her face

"It's a Grandmother's perrogative to bribe my grandchild."

Ohhhh, Mom...You are a sneaky lady! Sneaky and brillant. I salute you!

Crazy Couple of Days

I think the picture says it all: A turkey running around like crazy balancing Dinner. That's how I feel about the next couple days. I have major cleaning to do. I guilted Mom into taking the girls for a few hours today, so I can clean their room. It's simply too much. I MUST get rid of excess toys, and do their laundry. I can't put it off anymore. I told Mom that I've been waiting over a month for her to take the girls for me so I can do it. That was no lie.

The plan is to put the bunk beds back together on Friday. Hubby actually wanted to do it on Thursday Morning, but the look of Death I shot him stopped him mid-sentance. I have a 20 lb bird, and sides to make that day. Sure, dinner isn't until after 5 pm, but I plan on cleaning whatever I DIDN'T finish in the kitchen tomorrow morning, as well as work on dinner. Why put the bunks back together? Easy Answer - MORE SPACE. My kids have a tiny room, and little space to play. They hate to play in there because the beds are side by side and there's no room for thier toys. Hence why a sea of toys 2 feet tall encompasses that room and spills out into the hallway. Perhaps with the bunks up, and less toys, they will find playing in their room more enjoyable. One can only hope.

SO, after todays' cleaning frenzy, tomorrow's dinner, and Friday the bunk beds, I have to prepare to go to RI for THE REUNION. Yes, Ladies and Gents, it is this Saturday. I have stuff to find, prep and pack. I have shoes to polish and photo albums to throw together so I can brag to my friends about my fabulous family- My Handsome Sailor (who's got duty) Husband and Georgous, Well-Behaved Children. Jewelery needs to be cleaned and shiny, and dang it, where is my lapel pin? It will go awsome with my suit. Oh yeah and I still need to post a picture of me in the suit for those of you who have asked!

AAARGH!! TOO MUCH TO DO -- NOT ENOUGH HOURS!!! Anyone got a maid and some Valium I can borrow for a couple days? Yeah, THANKS!!

SO, dear friends, in case I don't have a chance to post again today, or tomorrow (unlikly, since this is part of my morning routine),