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Monday, May 01, 2006

No Rest For the Weary

I didn't even have that much of an eventful day yesterday. We went to the mall. Hubby braved it on his crutches (with a few rest stops, thank goodness for benches). I got me a PINK Red Sox hat. Hubby got 2 hats for The Big Deployment this summer. The kids were relatively well-behaved (only one incident where Emily was whiny, but she obeyed me without questions much of the day).

On the way home from the mall, I stopped at a craft store and broke down and bought a Knitting starters kit and another "learn to knit" book. I figure it will give me something to do on nights when Hubby isn't home and I am lying awake in bed, trying to relax. I sleep worse when he's not home, but I figure maybe something I have to concentrate on to wind down will help.

So we get home. Hubby and I relax on the bed and watch the tube. The kids are watching TV downstairs and playing. We ordered Chinese (Thanks Mimi for telling me about Peking Kitchen, they ROCK). We watched out Sunday Night ABC Lineup (yay! a NEW Grey's Anatomy after a MONTH!!!). When the news came on, I attempted to start knitting. I actually did decent! I need ot work on it though, my gauge was all over the place...but anyway...

About 12:30 I turned off my light and hubby started to read. I had a headache and had taken some Naproxen at 11 or so. I still had it though. I slept terribly. I mean, fitful, and I feel this morning like I didn't sleep a wink. It took me a full 20 minutes to gather the strength to get out of bed and go downstairs this morning. I even made coffee instead of my usual sweet tea this morning. I need caffiene. I need more. A full travel mug wasn't enough.

I don't get it. I got about 8 hours. Why am I so tired? I think I am seriously going to have to go to the doctors again. This is getting ridiculous.

damn. It's already 11:45 am. I need to get dressed, get Emmy dressed and get her to school. Then it's grocery shopping and laundry. And I have a mountain of clothes.

I know this is going to sound terrible, but I can hardly wait for Hubby to go back to work tomorrow. Sure, he's on light duty, and he probably won't be at squadron long, but I need him out of the house so I can get back into my routine. For the last 18 days it's been blown out of the water and the house looks like a bomb hit it. I could have cleaned, but I felt like I had an obligation to be with him, play video games and do the family thing. Of course it took away from my cleaning schedule, and the house has suffered. NO MORE. Tomorrow it will all change...thank GOD. Plus, I hate him watching me clean. I feel self concious about it, and I feel like a maid. He just watches me. Or ignores me when I do it, and I feel like I am not a part of the household really. This is MY house, damn it. I clean it, I cook, I care for the kids 90% of the time. Why do I let myself feel like this when I clean and he's around?? It's weird I know, but I feel more productive and more independant when he's not there. I feel like a bad wife for wanting him out of ths house so I can get my stuff done, btu honestly, things go smoother when he's not here.

I am gonna go to bed early tonight. Like as soon as the kids go. I need a full nights sleep. Especially if I am going to get this house in order tomorrow.....

Hopefully things will be better in the morning....after a full night's RESTFUL sleep.

ETA: And of COURSE blogger is going to give me hell by taking forever to load a picture. This is one of those days wehre I feel like the whole world is out to sabotage me. I need a nap *sigh*

8 flame(s) added to the fire:

Mimi said...

That is funny you started knitting cause I just decided last week I wanted to try it!

Betty said...

He soon will not around and you can do your cleaning. I feel as you do and now that he is retired and not able to go out without me, much of the house stuff suffers. I honestly would like to do the projects I do than house work, but I do force myself to do it.

Dr.John said...

Interesting blog entry. I always wondered why women didn't like to do house work and now I discover its the fault of the men. You can, howeverm ignore what my wife said above. When I was pastor I was ina nd out of the house all day and she still hated to do housework.

Dr. Cissa Fireheart said...

Mimi - yeah I haven't gotten too far into the knitting book, but I dreamed about the knit stich most of Sunday night!!LOL

Betty - I don't mind the cleaning when there isn't so dang much to do!! It's when it piles up because I feel like I should be spending time with him instead of cleaning that gets me. It's a reverse guilt trip "Oh...he's leaving soon. I should spend time with him NOW, because he'll be gone LATER..."

Dr. John - You should know by now, that men are the reason for everything that irritates us...MENstuation, MENopause, MENtality......see where I am goin with this? LOL Only kidding. And I bet that you weren't gone from the house as long as you think. And may I remind you that children hinder cleaning progress? It's a wonder she and I got/get any cleaning done at all!!!

Mr. Fabulous said...

A Red Sox fan? I KNEW there was something I liked about you!

Thanks for the blogroll add, I am doing the same.

The Phoenix said...

A pink Red Sox hat? That sounds booth cool and sexy. Funny how people from CT are torn between NY and Boston. When I visit, it's always fun to sort of stir the pot with the baseball rivalry, although it seems it's not much of one.

Dr. Cissa Fireheart said...

Mr. Fabulous - Born and raised in RI/MA, I better be a Red Sox fan -- and a Patriots fan too! Thanks for the blogroll add!

Phoenix - Yeah up here in New England the Yankees/Red Sox thing is big. They have just started in the last few years to make team gear suited for women's tastes, and I LOVE IT! I actually saw a purple hat, grabbed it then looked...YANKEES! UGH!!! I was disappointed. Purple is my favorite color. But pink works too. I think CT has the biggest Yankees fan population in New England, but that's only cause so many New Yorkers and their families have secoond homes here - go figure the line would waver....

Rebecca said...

Hey Cissa -
Sorry I've been MIA, was sick w/ pneumonia. I had some catching up to do!!!

And I think that you should blog about what YOU want to say. It's not about what I want you to say....that's why I like coming here. :)