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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

An apple a day....

....keeps Me away from the doctor. Well it's more than that to be honesst.....

My whole life I have had a bit of an adversion to doctors. I'll give you a brief ...history of me medically. It's not very exciting, but...here we go.

For a great while, between the ages of 5 and 8, I had nosebleeds - everynight. And I don't mean little ones. I mean my mom would take me to the ER because she was scared at the amount of blood coming out of my nose. At one point, I knew all the ER doctors who had the 3rd shift, and quite a few of the nurses. They couldn't figure it out. My doctor, get this -- Dr. Fireman -- was no help either. They eventually stopped.

When I was a young teen, about 12 or 13, I was told I was hypoglycemic, which is the opposite of diabetes, though technically I'm told, a form of it. I wasn't allowed to eat candy, chew regular gum, or drink my beloved Coca-Cola. Painfully skinny as I was already, here I was at age 13 drinking diet coke and having sugar free stuff. Total hell. People probably thought I was bulemic or something....Oh yeah I was anemic too. I bet it was from all the damn nose bleeds.....Eventually I wasn't anymore. Yay. Still weird, I think.

When I was around 15 or 16, I passed out a few times at school. One time, I had pain so bad in my chest, I was sent to the ER as soon as I walked inthe house, clutching my chest. I still have no clue how I got through that day. I still rememebr the pain so vividly, I will have nightmares about it once in a while. The doctor told me -- and for the life of me, I will never forget the exact words-- I had "had a little bit of a heart attack". Now, I am not a doctor, by all means, never claim to be, but I also am a pretty educated person. Even at 16, my first thought was , "either I had one or I didn't!" "Kind of" having one, is like saying you kind of have cancer, or diabetes, or you're kind of pregnant. I also was informed my anemia was back. That would explain why I slept about 20 hours a day, including in school sometimes. I thought I might have mono. My mom thought I was having a growth spurt. Trouble is, I am the same height I was at 13, so it wasn't that.

A little while after the "kind of a heart attack" episode, I started having a very bad personal life. Evil, manipulative, mentally abusive and sometimes physically abusive boyfriend and I broke up for the final time. Soon after that, I started drinking Screwdrivers in the morning, just to make it through the day. I also started smoking pot. That lead to a few other things....I'll stop there, because I know some friends from highschool read this. I think they would be surprised to know how bad it got for me. Let's just say.....waking up under a dumpster and losing 3 days of my life because of my extra curricular activities led me to a realization that I was in trouble.

Suddenly I decided to move to my Dad's. A lot of people were surprised. But some were not. they knew the whole ...Juan issue....was a big thing for me. I am sure they thought I just needed to get away. I did, but now, I revaled more reasons why....When at my Dad's, and the 2 years after that into college, I never had any real health problems. It was the best decison I had made in my life to that point. I still drank at parties, and smoked pot occasionally. I won't lie. But anything else offered was promptly turned down. I wasn't stupid enough to do that shit again.

When I met Hubby and got married, I got preggers right away, not even knowing it until AFTER I was already married. Soon after I knew, I lost it. Ia few months later, just when I thought my body was back on track....I lost another baby I didn't even knew I had....yep. I was even on the pill, so you can imagine the look on my face in the ER when the docs told me why I had woken in the middle of the night in a pool of blood. oh yeah....

The next year.....well....let's just say. I am a fertile woman. However, my body apparently was not made to deliver babies in the conventional way. I learned this the hard way. I'll talk more about that in April.....

well because of all the lovely traumatic events, some of which here I've only skimmed-- many of which I haven't mentioned, I don't like doctors. Hubby has to practically put a gun to my head and dial to even make an apointment. In fact, last year, when I had my car accident, I went 2 months with constant pain in my left arm and shoulder, just because I hate them so much. Finally the gun was pulled, and the injury taken care of.

Now, I am having issues again. I haven't slept well for a while, but the last 3 months or so have been particularly bad. I just ...can't sleep...so I stay up late. And then, the kids wake me up early. Even when I DO get a full nights sleep, I still feel like I haven't slept since 1998. So, as part of my New Years Resolutions, which I have not listed them all on here, I decided to get checked out -- full physical, all the bloodwork, all the tests, all the lovely woman stuff too. I got a list a mile long of everything I want taken care of or talked about.

The funny thing? Even though I would LOVE to have this taken care of right away, the soonest available apointment is Jan. 31st!. Yes, I said January 31st. So that means, 2 more weeks of sleepless nights and miscelaneous maladies.....oh joy.....

But I finally made the appoinment. And a gun wasn't neccessary. Hubby will be so proud!

3 flame(s) added to the fire:

Karin said...

Wow...I thought I had a list. Hope you get it figured out and taken care of. Hugs.

jeopardygirl said...

Be happy that you were able to get an appointment this month! Last year, I phoned to make an appointment for a complete physical in April, but the nearest app't. I could get was for SEPTEMBER.

JaneyGrrrl said...

btw...just so you know....those people who've known you seemingly forever *cough,cough* may not be privy to all the dirty details...but I imagine that at least one of said people...ie..me, knows how bad it was. Still waiting for the day when perhaps you can finally feel comfortable enough to unload it on me so I can let go of the pretending like I didn't know the trouble you were in....

That said...I also don't sleep well AT ALL...the only time I really feel like I could get a good rest is between the hours of 7am-11am...which sucks cuz of work and the little 8am knock knock on the door wanting to show me that it A)snowed B) the sun came up C) puppy pooped etc etc etc...

I've been told its the weather, the season, depression, too much stress...the list of reasons goes on and on...

personally....I don't know. But I go through periods in my life where I just don't sleep. I know it'll be ok soon...so I can deal with the way things are right now. Only because I know that it'll fix itself in the end...

good luck with your appointment..I hope the doc can help