An apple a day....

....keeps Me away from the doctor. Well it's more than that to be honesst.....

My whole life I have had a bit of an adversion to doctors. I'll give you a brief ...history of me medically. It's not very exciting, but...here we go.

For a great while, between the ages of 5 and 8, I had nosebleeds - everynight. And I don't mean little ones. I mean my mom would take me to the ER because she was scared at the amount of blood coming out of my nose. At one point, I knew all the ER doctors who had the 3rd shift, and quite a few of the nurses. They couldn't figure it out. My doctor, get this -- Dr. Fireman -- was no help either. They eventually stopped.

When I was a young teen, about 12 or 13, I was told I was hypoglycemic, which is the opposite of diabetes, though technically I'm told, a form of it. I wasn't allowed to eat candy, chew regular gum, or drink my beloved Coca-Cola. Painfully skinny as I was already, here I was at age 13 drinking diet coke and having sugar free stuff. Total hell. People probably thought I was bulemic or something....Oh yeah I was anemic too. I bet it was from all the damn nose bleeds.....Eventually I wasn't anymore. Yay. Still weird, I think.

When I was around 15 or 16, I passed out a few times at school. One time, I had pain so bad in my chest, I was sent to the ER as soon as I walked inthe house, clutching my chest. I still have no clue how I got through that day. I still rememebr the pain so vividly, I will have nightmares about it once in a while. The doctor told me -- and for the life of me, I will never forget the exact words-- I had "had a little bit of a heart attack". Now, I am not a doctor, by all means, never claim to be, but I also am a pretty educated person. Even at 16, my first thought was , "either I had one or I didn't!" "Kind of" having one, is like saying you kind of have cancer, or diabetes, or you're kind of pregnant. I also was informed my anemia was back. That would explain why I slept about 20 hours a day, including in school sometimes. I thought I might have mono. My mom thought I was having a growth spurt. Trouble is, I am the same height I was at 13, so it wasn't that.

A little while after the "kind of a heart attack" episode, I started having a very bad personal life. Evil, manipulative, mentally abusive and sometimes physically abusive boyfriend and I broke up for the final time. Soon after that, I started drinking Screwdrivers in the morning, just to make it through the day. I also started smoking pot. That lead to a few other things....I'll stop there, because I know some friends from highschool read this. I think they would be surprised to know how bad it got for me. Let's just say.....waking up under a dumpster and losing 3 days of my life because of my extra curricular activities led me to a realization that I was in trouble.

Suddenly I decided to move to my Dad's. A lot of people were surprised. But some were not. they knew the whole ...Juan issue....was a big thing for me. I am sure they thought I just needed to get away. I did, but now, I revaled more reasons why....When at my Dad's, and the 2 years after that into college, I never had any real health problems. It was the best decison I had made in my life to that point. I still drank at parties, and smoked pot occasionally. I won't lie. But anything else offered was promptly turned down. I wasn't stupid enough to do that shit again.

When I met Hubby and got married, I got preggers right away, not even knowing it until AFTER I was already married. Soon after I knew, I lost it. Ia few months later, just when I thought my body was back on track....I lost another baby I didn't even knew I had....yep. I was even on the pill, so you can imagine the look on my face in the ER when the docs told me why I had woken in the middle of the night in a pool of blood. oh yeah....

The next year.....well....let's just say. I am a fertile woman. However, my body apparently was not made to deliver babies in the conventional way. I learned this the hard way. I'll talk more about that in April.....

well because of all the lovely traumatic events, some of which here I've only skimmed-- many of which I haven't mentioned, I don't like doctors. Hubby has to practically put a gun to my head and dial to even make an apointment. In fact, last year, when I had my car accident, I went 2 months with constant pain in my left arm and shoulder, just because I hate them so much. Finally the gun was pulled, and the injury taken care of.

Now, I am having issues again. I haven't slept well for a while, but the last 3 months or so have been particularly bad. I just ...can't sleep...so I stay up late. And then, the kids wake me up early. Even when I DO get a full nights sleep, I still feel like I haven't slept since 1998. So, as part of my New Years Resolutions, which I have not listed them all on here, I decided to get checked out -- full physical, all the bloodwork, all the tests, all the lovely woman stuff too. I got a list a mile long of everything I want taken care of or talked about.

The funny thing? Even though I would LOVE to have this taken care of right away, the soonest available apointment is Jan. 31st!. Yes, I said January 31st. So that means, 2 more weeks of sleepless nights and miscelaneous maladies.....oh joy.....

But I finally made the appoinment. And a gun wasn't neccessary. Hubby will be so proud!