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Friday, July 25, 2008

How low can you go?

Apparently pretty damn low without hitting rock bottom.

That's me. I'm doing the cryptic thing.

I'm really glad I had an interview yesterday, and another one next week....possibly two.

I can't bring myself to be bouncy and all happy-sounding. All the effort that I have put into trying to be upbeat and positive has drained me, and this is what left.

Numb, cryptic, tired.

I am guessing I will have more things to say once I clear my head, get my shit together and the kids are home. That happens tomorrow. Still gotta break the news to the parental units that I am not coming for the weekend. I don't need the passive aggression right now.

I'm out of cigarettes, and I can't do anything about it. I still have another week before I can get any.

Maybe it's good I am so raw with numbness, I don't have the energy to go from 0 to Bitch on the blog. I feel like I am just writing my thoughts....what's the phrase, streamlining? no...whatever....

Just saying all my thoughts as they come.

Sorry to say, I'm so low, I kinda don't care right now.

At least I recognize when I am low, and have forewarned you all.

Next week will be better. Need to concentrate on getting a job. Will worry about what to do with the kids when I actually have a job. Need to stop talking about needing a job so much. People are probably tired of hearing about it.

ok, time to go...

~Cissa

5 flame(s) added to the fire:

Turnbaby said...

Hope you are okay sugar.

Trukindog said...

I'm not gonna nag ya about this hon, I just gotta say cigarettes killed both my folks, since your out and can't get any for a week why not go ahead and quit. And that's all I have to say about that.

hello haha narf said...

sending lots of good thoughts your way, my friend.

Ms. Karen said...

Being low is so hard, and sometimes it feels like it will never end. It's good you recognize it and know there are better times ahead. I won't say "cheer up" because it makes me crazy when people say that to me during the down times.

Repeat after me:
I'll cheer up when I darn well feel like it, thankyouverymuch. Now. Go away.

Free-writing... I do that. Sometimes it helps. Be kind to yourself.

Blessed Be.

*~Chellie~* said...

I found you via my sis Queenie. Seems we have much in common at the moment. Kids, unemployment woes, not enough energy to keep up the happy face Oh yeah and cigarettes :) and tattoos Who knows what else when I read further :)

I get nagged all the time about the cigs. They do it cause they care, but don't realize how annoying it is to hear And how hard it is to go without them.

Hang in there