Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I've got a better idea...

Okay, cancel the party. I've got bigger fish to fry.

Mmmm...fried fish.

Oh, right. Focus.

I have decided that it is my destiny to be a dictator. I think I would make a good one. Kind of a cross between Mussolini and Micheal Eisner.

I'm looking at each blog as a country. And so it is in the name of the Federal Republic of Fabuloustan that I claim Heart of Fire. I'll be setting Stu up as Territorial Governor. We'll need to keep Cissa around in some capacity to keep the natives from getting restless. Stu, you can find something for her to do, right? Trot her out once in a while to keep the pink masses docile.

It is from here that we will amass our troops along the border and begin our assault on Dr. John's Fortress. My intelligence reports indicate that his blog is the key. Once he falls, Cissa's blogroll is mostly mommy blogs, full of estrogen, enfamil, and dirty diapers. Our tanks should be able to roll unopposed, at least until we get to Mind of Mimi. We'll have to be careful there. She knows Thai kickboxing. She must not be underestimated.

We'll need to win their hearts and minds. Studies have shown that the best way to win the hearts and minds of mommy bloggers is with chocolate, Starbucks, and a 24 hour Oprah channel. I've got some of my best men on the project as we speak.

As an added precaution I have had Dr. Phil captured and interred in a prison camp (okay, we're actually holding him in an Arby's bathroom) and we are threatening to kill him (okay, hurt him. okay, hurt his feelings) if we encounter any resistance along the way.

Am I forgetting anything?

Feels good to have a plan.

Onward and upward!

6 flame(s) added to the fire:

Stu said...

Forgetting Anything? Well, you responded to everyone else's comments on Murder and Marketing, but not mine. And mine was so thoughtful. I bet you just forgot, 'cause I know a good comment when I write one.

Oh, sorry, were you referring to the current post? My mistake.

You forgot to detail the plans for exactly how we will take over Dr. John's Fortress. Amass Troops. Got it. Begin Assault. Ok. But in what way? Will it include Badminton Rackets and Personal Lubricant?

As for Mind Of Mimi, I am not intimidated by her Thai kickboxing, as I have a trebuchet filled with chickens. Oh, and a PDA Stylus, which I hear is a solid weapon.

As for Dr. Phil, seriously, hurt his feelings. One by one, starting with his eyes, which are not the kind of eyes that cool people like to look at.

Cissa Fireheart said...

Ok Boys, Party's Over!! Cissa is back...well...sort of...

I'm home, but now I am packing up the house to move in 2 days.....more on that later....

I see lots of fun was had at the expense of my color scheme....and my blogroll too apparetnly.....No worries, well, there are worries, but they are for you...

You see, Dr. John has GOD on his side...a force not to be rekoned with...and Mimi? Well you forget her son, Binker, who will melt your heart and the rest of you with one gorgeous smile...oh yes and Durk, her hubby, who will simply call all his Navy buddies to kick y'all's asses to next week....

But other than that? have at it....your resistance is futile....but we'll let you try!

Mr. Fabulous said...

Stu, your comment got caught up in moderation. I will make sure I respond today.

Gee, what a hard ass :)


Stu said...

Cissa, I swear to all that is holy, Mr. Fabulous made me do it! I was caught in the tractor beam of his fabulous creativity.

Although I thought my line about "Badminton Rackets and Personal Lubricant" was pretty funny.

Soon Your Birthday It Will Be!

B.R.L said...

Wecome baack Cissa!

Dr.John said...

Glad to see that Cissa is back. For a bit I thought I was going to have to add some more marshmellows to the wall of the fortress.