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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Sifting through Debris

Reading Mimi's post from yesterday got me thinking about my poetry from my teen years. I used to keep a diary and I thought I was the freaking BOMB when it came to poetry. I looked through the books, and started reading entries, poems, etc. I've come up with a few conclusions about my life from 11, 10, 9 and 8 years ago....

1. I was easy to fall in love
2. I was a freakin' glutton for punishment
3. I was seriously depressed and must have hid it pretty well from the outside world
4. I have terrible handwriting and wish I had gotten better instruction on that. Most of the stuff was barely legible!

A few phrases I noticed were repeated were "I'm so depressed", "What is the matter with me?" , "I am all alone". Almost up to my meeting Hubby I was feeling depressed. Looking back I don't recall feeling THAT down, but maybe that was a bit of denial I was experiencing....for 3 years straight. Apparently I got it all out in my journals though...kinda weird.

Maybe I need to start keeping one again....and look it over in 10 years to see how much I have changed....maybe THIS is my journal now. Amazing how introspective I get when I look at my past. I really AM a nut case LMAO.

I wanted to share one of my piss poor poems...Hope you all don't gag. I find they're terribly entertaining now...

from 3/12/1995 (that's 11 years - I was 17, a senior in high school, 3 months shy of graduation):

I lie here and wonder
what is my destiny?
Am I to live my life alone?
Or shall I prosper in the
Great Wealth of Love?
I am alone, so far from you.
To hear your voice, feel your touch,
touch your lips.
It seems like a dream
that I never will have
so long as I sleep.
Time is the prison which
locks me away.
In this cell of solitude
will you be my pardoner?
Or will I die, imprisoned
by the harsh, cruel jailers
we call society.
I wait and wait,
so many tearful nights
and bleak emotionless days
for the reunion of our love
our souls
our destiny.

Damn. Depressing and lovey-dovey. I can feel the bile rising in my throat it's THAT bad! LMFAO

Later Gators......

1 flame(s) added to the fire:

Mimi said...

I don't think its bad at all!!! I like it!