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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Fanning the Flames

OK, so.....I am not going to be around for about oh...I'd say.....3 days..possibly more.....

I can't tell You why though. It's a matter of National Security.....

But be advised, I will be VERY VERY happy. I even have a trip to Victoria's Secret in preparation. That's what's the best part.

And so I leave you with a McDreamy....so when you visit, you will have pleasant thoughts...


Oh yes, and because I am so happy with the fact that George stood up for himself, and even has a hot, NOT DISGUSTINGLY SKINNY Doctor crushing on Him (Damn had I known, I could have been her...*sigh* George, you sweet man you.....)


Oh wait, can't forget about my Male readers.....One for You, boys....Dr. Izzie Stevens, aka Bethany Whisper *wink*


LATER!!!


Thursday, February 23, 2006

And You're Thinking of Drinking Gasoline....

I've read a lot of blogs out there where people put their "Top 5 list" for the world to see. That's cool. I happen to agree with some choices. I'm a freaky kinda gal though, I gotta say. I can't commit to one kind of guy, as far as who is "do-able", and I attribute this to the fact I was a bit of a chamelon growing up. I had my friends, yes, but I was also friendly with MOST of the other "groups" out there - jocks, geeks, drama kids, etc. So when it comes to my taste in Men....it's just as ecclectic....

All the usual suspects are on my list -- which is more than 5 mind you, because 5 is just too small a number for all the hot guys out there. I don't like to narrow my options.

But I have recently "discovered" the newest member of My List: Anthony Rapp

Oh yeah - Mark from RENT. I cannot contain myself when I see this man sing and dance on my TV screen. He's not extremely athletic looking, but he's lean.Not usually somethign I go for in a lot of Men, but hey.... But the Man can SING...and I LOVE his funky dancing on "La Vie Boheme". Everytime I watch that song, I just want to jump up on that table with Him and jump his bones. I remember him first from "Dazed and Confused" with the Abe Lincoln Dream....thought he was kinda cute then, but after seeing RENT? Holy God I was like - WOW! Yeah...I'm a loser, but I mean...here...look.....





I can hear some of you now.... "That girl is so weird..." yeah yeah...well...Anthony, should you EVER come accross this blog, and if you ever need a booty call, seriosly....I'm your girl!!

Of Course -- If George or McDreamy read this too -- Same offer stands, Gentlemen....

Oh can't forget Johnny, Christian, Orlando, Clive, Sean (Connery), Patrick (Stewart), Tom (Selleck), Adam (Pascal or Alda -- seriously either one)...My list could go on and on....see what I mean? Eccelectic list of Men I'd LOVE to have one night stands with......

ok, gotta show the McDreamy Picture...I just gotta.....*melts*



Wow, You all must be able to tell I miss My husband, when my entire post is about Men I'd love to share My bed with. Not much longer and Hubby will be home....but MAN...it is tough to see hot guys everywhere and NOT want them.... but no doubt, there is ONE MAN that I want above all others.....


Only a few more days, only a few more days, only a few more days.......

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wood for the Fire


It took the death of my freind's grandmother to make me think about some serious stuff the last couple days....some serious like Soul-searching stuff...

1.) Monday night was the first time I have been in a funeral parlor for almost 6 years. The last time? I was at my own child's funeral.....it was tough, looking at my friends' Gran's casket and not having flashbacks of my own child's funeral. It was hard not to be so sad for other reasons than her death. I need to talk about it...and I will...in April......

2.) My Nana died over 6 years ago. I have been back in New England nearly 9 months. I have YET to go to her grave. How bad of a person am I? My Nana loved me so much, and I loved her so much. Yet I haven't had the decency to pay my respects to her yet? What the hell is wrong with me? This will change. When Hubby returns in a few days, and goes on leave, we're going on a trip to the cemetary. WITH FLOWERS.

3.) Sitting in the church during the funeral rites, I was taken aback by my own lack of enthusiasm for my faith as of late. I haven't been to church since Christmas Eve and before that, only one other church since the summer. I feel....empty without knowing the presence of God so much in my life again. I am going to change that -- starting this Sunday. I am going to to go bed early Saturday night and I am going to pick a church and go to a service. If I like it, I will go back. If I don't I will pick a different church to try. I want God in My life again. I have strayed and I feel hollow.

4.) I don't value my children enough. I realize this often. I have started to make a more concious effort towards doing things with them. I haven't been Mother of the Year, and I don't know that I ever will be. But I can make an effort to be a better one than I have lately.

5.) I miss my husband. Terribly. While he's been gone, I have come to appreciate Him more, but at the same time, I have come to appreciate myself more. I forget what it's like to really be in charge of everything. To not have to ask for approval or check with someone about everything. Which don't get me wrong, is important too. But I am glad he went, and I am glad that I am able to actually miss Hubby, the person, his actual companionship, rather than resent his presence, and feel weighed down about life. This has actually been good for our marriage. I look forward to being able to talk to him about things. And I hope that he will agree to start going to church with me again.

6.) No Day But Today -- if you don't know what it means, you need to watch the Movie or go see the play RENT. It's becomming my mantra. And honestly, it's a good thing. It can be applied on so many facets of my individual life and my life with My family, I honestly feel like that is a Message from God.....hard to explain....but I seem to take signs from God in the forms of media....wish I could explain better.....but hey God knows He is reaching me....so it's a good thing ...

there's more, but I need to post this. Perhaps tomorrow I will post more of my ephiphanies. Maybe not.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Last Minute emergency -type thing

Going out of town tomorrow, will be back teusday evening. Death of friend family member.

Hope You all are Healthy and Happy....


~Cissa Fireheart

Saturday, February 18, 2006

A little surprise tonight....

So at about 20 past 7 tongit my cell phone rang. I looked and it was HUBBY'S CELL!!

He pulled into port for a day or two, and called Me. it was so nice to hear his voice. I miss Him a lot, and I cannot wait for Him to come home.

Went to Kerri's baby shower. It was fun but sad. I will explain more later this week....

I'm tired. I put together the stand alone linen closet all bymyself last night. Mimi helped me move it into my room....

Life goes on.

RENT comes out on DVD on Tuesday!!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Swirls of Emotions and Thoughts

I am going to Ramble...You have been warned.

I miss Hubby. Yes it is great when I get to clean how I want, and do lots of TV dinners for me and the kids. Heck I am even taking up the whole bed to sleep comfortably. But there are days when I just miss Him being there for me. His company, his humor, his strength. He can not be saying a word, sitting on his computer behind me while I play a viso game, and I feel completely at peace, just because He's there. I don;t remeber feeling like this when he was out to sea before. Maybe I grew up and just got the news flash that I love Him more than ever.

Last Wednesday I got an email from him. I have gotten one for 6 days straight. I started to expect them. I got one on Valentines Day. I haven't gotten another since. This wouldn't bother me as much if I hadn't gotten so many emails in a row. I know I sound like I am whining....and I am, to a point. But I sent him a letter the other night that I found to be somwhat important and would like a prompt response. I expected a response, and since I haven't got one, I find myself disappointed. It sucks feeling this way. Even though I shouldn't because I have gotten more emails this past week then I did in an entire 6 month period on his last boat. I'm spoiled now. I told him not to do it, but he did anyway....*sigh*

Emily's birthday is coming. I need to get her a place to have it. I have to decide where to have the party. I have to decide on a "present" from us. And what to tell others to get her. I have to do the taxes before Hubby gets Home. I have to clean the house and get that damn wardrobe put together so I can get rid of all the doggone boxes in my bedroom.

I been reading people's blogs again finally. Some of the topics I can't beleive. For example: If you are going to leave your husband, don't advertise it on the net. He could turn that around and try to use it as evidence of cheating -- which could TOTALLY screw up your Alimony/child custody/child support stuff. Plus it's just sad. Maybe I will just take that blog off my blogroller......

I think February is the month of the burn-out. Magazine Man is taking a vacation due to it. a lot of people have taken off from blogging due to burn-out. Heck even I am feeling burnt-out and overhwelmed by the real world. Blogging just doesn't seem to fit into my motivation to do things in life.

My kids are growing everyday. Kaitlyn is turning into one of the most Hilarious people I know. Emily is turning into one of the most neurotic people I know. I have to nip it in the bud. But I don't know how. Asking my mother isn't an option, and my step-dad is just too harsh with Em. My Dad is clueless, and My step-mom, would just say she's fine and not neurotic. But I am just going to leave that alone.....so essentially, unless Dr. Phil reads this and has suggestions for me in the comments, I am going to have to stumble along with this parenting thing.....

And now I have to go take care of things...and try to figure out how to get everything done....

oh shoot. I have a baby shower to go to on Saturday...dang it...I gotta buy a gift! And find a baby sitter ...

If only there were more hours in a day....and I could put Emily on a bus to get to school. it would save me an hour everyday *sigh*

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Snow, Valentines, and Bad Driving

WOW. We got a lot of snow. I measured 8 different places around my yard on Sunday evening, and it was anywhere from 9 - 22 inches. INSANE!!!

Yesterday I had to dig my way out of the driveway. school had a 90 min delay, but that did not affect PM K/Pre-K classes. So I got Me and the girls bundled up, and began to shovel. My friend Jen from down the street drove by and asked fif I needed help. I took it gladly....It only took me 1 1/2 hours to get to the street with Jen's help.....I don;t know why it didn't dawn on Me to take pictures. I guess I was just too tired.

Mimi was out of town and got stuck in Maryland for another day. I knew there was no way she was going to get into her driveway if I did not shovel it for her and her husband. So, after Emily was dropped off, I started on their driveway. about 1/2 way through some little mini snow plw comes through to plow the sidewalks. great, but then they blocked in the end, where I had JUST finished shovelign!! I gave the guy the finger the next two times he dorve past. heh.

So, 2 hours later I finish Mimi's driveway. I had slipped a few times, and almost fell on my ass and broke it once or twice. and the repetitive motion of it all, especially the leaning down part.....well....I was hurting. But it was OK. I had done this for my friends.

After I woke up this morning, I mentally kicked myself for being stupid and doing it all myself.....I was stiff, in pain, and still even now, I hurt. I took a hot shower, but it didn't do too much. Tonight I will break out the heating pad.

Today is Valentines day. yep. We don;t do this holiday too much in our house. it's just not a big deal. Mostly because Hubby has been gone for most of them. Oh well.

I got a surprise today. I was expecting something. I had seen the OBSCENELY HIGH amount withdrawn from the bank account in VA. I had been warned by Hubby to expect something. When I wasn't sure, but i figured it HAD to be for today....yesp. at about 10 am, I saw a car pull up. I went to the door.....and the guy had flowers for me!! Here they are



Aren't they gorgeous???? I dunno if they are worth the OBSCENE AMOUNT Hubby paid for it though....oh well....

So to the last part. Bad Driving. This is what happened to Me. I drove to pick up Emily from school. Attempted to do my usual 3-point turn on the side street to park and get her. Well...I reversed a little too much in the 2nd point, and wound up rolling back into the small ditch on the side of the road. (I drive a standard, when I released the clutch and hit the gas I rolled a lil bit) YES IT WAS SNOWY AND WET. I am an idiot, I know. BUT in my defense, I am not the IDIOT who bought a "SUV" without 4-wheel drive. So I blame Hubby. Truly I do. Hehe.

So that's been my Valentines...lovely, eh?

Happy Lovey Dovey Day to You All....if You celebrate it, that is.....

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Not Dead, Seriously

OK, so I got a semi life last week.....and lost time and motivation for blogging. Even now...I am only writing becuase I feel like you all might think I dropped off the earth....

Let's See....Oh yes, I went to RI on Wednesday. First up, Matron of Honor dress trying-on with Nessa. Ironically enough, over the weeknnd, she had changed colors and now it was peach and mint green. Amazingly enough, the style dress she wanted for the Bridesmaids, came out with a new color - Mint Julep! Nessa pracically passed out in the store with excitement.

Here I am, in all my non-glory.....posing in My dress. Mine will be the mint green, and the others will have the pinky-peach color....that's Danielle in the color the rest of the girls will wear...



after playing dress up, we headed back to Nessa's place, where I called Home and check on the kids...then we got ready to go to

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT!!!

which I will write about later on in another post....

We're expecting a Blizzard here in CT overnight, so I may be disconnected for a while because of it. 8-12 inches the weather says. Not sure if I believe it or not......guess I will find out when I wake up tomorrow morning, eh?


ok see y'all later.....

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Wow That was Bad

So I took the Ambien on Tuesday night right before bed. I wish I had Janey's advice ealier, becuase not only did it take a while to kick in...when I woke up the next monrning, I felt like I had a hangover. Factor in Kaity was screeching mercilessly about something or ther, and Vi-Olay: One Migraine for Cissa.

Mimi was kind and took the girls for me so I could sleep off the migraine and the medicine. After waking from my nap, I did feel better. As it was payday, I got ready to go out with the girls when Emily returned from Justin's....

Gotta go to the bank today and get some answers about stuff. Then to lab to do bloodwork. Then grocery shopping. Oh yes, somewhere in there, I have to drop off Emily at school and pick her up. haha

Tonight I am going to Bingo with Mimi, Michelle and possibly Jen (not you Jeopardygirl, lol). I probably won't take the pill again until Friday....if I don't go to RI to try on my bridesmaid dress for Nessa.

Nessa, call Me! I need to know the deal with this weekend...Yea or Nay?