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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Swirls of Emotions and Thoughts

I am going to Ramble...You have been warned.

I miss Hubby. Yes it is great when I get to clean how I want, and do lots of TV dinners for me and the kids. Heck I am even taking up the whole bed to sleep comfortably. But there are days when I just miss Him being there for me. His company, his humor, his strength. He can not be saying a word, sitting on his computer behind me while I play a viso game, and I feel completely at peace, just because He's there. I don;t remeber feeling like this when he was out to sea before. Maybe I grew up and just got the news flash that I love Him more than ever.

Last Wednesday I got an email from him. I have gotten one for 6 days straight. I started to expect them. I got one on Valentines Day. I haven't gotten another since. This wouldn't bother me as much if I hadn't gotten so many emails in a row. I know I sound like I am whining....and I am, to a point. But I sent him a letter the other night that I found to be somwhat important and would like a prompt response. I expected a response, and since I haven't got one, I find myself disappointed. It sucks feeling this way. Even though I shouldn't because I have gotten more emails this past week then I did in an entire 6 month period on his last boat. I'm spoiled now. I told him not to do it, but he did anyway....*sigh*

Emily's birthday is coming. I need to get her a place to have it. I have to decide where to have the party. I have to decide on a "present" from us. And what to tell others to get her. I have to do the taxes before Hubby gets Home. I have to clean the house and get that damn wardrobe put together so I can get rid of all the doggone boxes in my bedroom.

I been reading people's blogs again finally. Some of the topics I can't beleive. For example: If you are going to leave your husband, don't advertise it on the net. He could turn that around and try to use it as evidence of cheating -- which could TOTALLY screw up your Alimony/child custody/child support stuff. Plus it's just sad. Maybe I will just take that blog off my blogroller......

I think February is the month of the burn-out. Magazine Man is taking a vacation due to it. a lot of people have taken off from blogging due to burn-out. Heck even I am feeling burnt-out and overhwelmed by the real world. Blogging just doesn't seem to fit into my motivation to do things in life.

My kids are growing everyday. Kaitlyn is turning into one of the most Hilarious people I know. Emily is turning into one of the most neurotic people I know. I have to nip it in the bud. But I don't know how. Asking my mother isn't an option, and my step-dad is just too harsh with Em. My Dad is clueless, and My step-mom, would just say she's fine and not neurotic. But I am just going to leave that alone.....so essentially, unless Dr. Phil reads this and has suggestions for me in the comments, I am going to have to stumble along with this parenting thing.....

And now I have to go take care of things...and try to figure out how to get everything done....

oh shoot. I have a baby shower to go to on Saturday...dang it...I gotta buy a gift! And find a baby sitter ...

If only there were more hours in a day....and I could put Emily on a bus to get to school. it would save me an hour everyday *sigh*

2 flame(s) added to the fire:

Karin said...

It's good to ramble sometimes! Sorry you are missing hubby. I can't even imagine. Hugs to you!

Dick the Boomer said...

I can't offer much but a (((HUG))). You're a good mother, wife and human being.

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling burn out.