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Thursday, October 27, 2005

Renaming my Kid Radar O'Riley

My kids have a radar. Honest to God. It doesn't matter if they went to sleep an hour before sunrise -- they can sense when I have had very little sleep, or had a lot to drink the night before. They will wake at the first sign of light, and start yelling for me. It never fails. For example:

Last night, I stayed up until 2 am. I suffer from insomnia on occasion, an last night was one such occasion. I got sucked into M*A*S*H once again, and then was still awake after the last episode went off. So, I watched The West Wing -- another great show that, incidentally, Alan Alda (the guy I used to want to be my daddy as a little girl) stars in now. But I did like the show before he came on it, I swear. And anyway, he wasn't in this episodde, cause it was a rerun on Bravo...I don;t think they got to the season he started in yet...Wait --Where was I? Ohh yeah, the kids...

So at 6:48 am, I hear crying. With all the power I can muster, I crack my eyelids open, roll over to check the clock, and go see what the youngest, Kaity, wants. There she is, propped up in bed, arms behind head, waiting for me to enter.

"Hi Mama!'

"Hi Baby, what do you need?" she smiles and points at the little TV on the dresser.

"You want TV? Can you say TV Please?" I'm praying to God, she'll fall back asleep if I turn it on, but she's 2, and doesn't talk so much as babble. I am trying to get her to talk more. Even half-asleep, I have it inground into my mind to coax her to speak..

"Tee PLEASE!" she says, a bit too loudly for my sensitive ears after 4 hours sleep. She flashes me a smile and a big nod.

"Okie Dokie baby" Mom walks to the TV, hits the power button and makes sure to switch it to Playhouse Disney. Higglytown Heroes. ok, good to go!

"Thanks, Mom!" At least I don't have to prompt her for that....so I trudge back to my warm, cozy bed.....for a few more minutes of unconciousness...

"MAMA!!!!JUICE PWEASE!!!"

A deafening roar from the kids' room. I groan lightly- more like sigh heavily with a bit of of a tickle in the back of my throat, roll over, look at the clock - 7:17. My first though is God, I need a life. Or more sleep. Or both.

Oh yes, that's right, Kaity needs juice. I am reminded about that by her yelling once more for it. So I get up, make it downstairs, get her juice, and bring it back to her ("Thanks Mom!"), praying that getting up twice has not woken my body too much causing me unable to get back to sleep for a few more minutes. Thanks be to God, it's not. I settle down, and in seconds float into oblivion....A 1/2 hour later....

"Mama! How come you got Kaity Juice and not me?!"

I growl this time -- no mistake about that... Of course Emily would say that. Forget the fact that she was DEAD to the world when Kaity woke. She's awake now, and how DARE I do something for Kaityln, and not her? Who cares if Mom is trying to sleep? Really, it's not that important, right? Emily needs juice, and the world WILL stop so Mom can get her some. Someone shoot me, please!

I've accepted it. My fate is sealed. There is nothing else left to do, now. So, I get up, go in the girls' room, and say:

"OK, everyone downstairs, time for breakfast!"

It's obvious I won't be sleeping anymore this morning.

What's that, Radar? Choppers? DAMN!

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