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Monday, November 19, 2007

Friends....

Sometimes the friends we make last a lifetime. For instance, Ness and I , even though there was a 6 year gap where we had lost contact, have remained friends, and even now are the best of friends. Some friends you make only last a little while. As a military wife I see this a lot. You make friends in a homeport, then 2-3 years later, one of you moves to another place, and though at first the emails and phone calls continue, eventually they putter out.

I've had good friendships, and not so good ones. I've been used, blow-off, insulted, hurt, annoyed, etc. by some and some I don't know how I ever lived without because their generosity, kindness, sense of humor and even cooking have helped me stay sane.

I've been the bad friend, the good friend, the confidant, and some of my friends have been this to me as well.

There are some people who I thought were friends, only to find out later that they were friends with me to gain something -- knowledge, power, preference, whatever....some simply need a person to bitch about everyone and everything, and I seem to be a good target for these people.

But you know what? Not once, ever, have I had a friend do to me what another one of my friends had happen to her recently. I refuse to name names on this one particular incident, but all I will say is....when spouses of friends fight, a friendship doesn't need to end. Don't be a coward and use that excuse if you want to end a friendship. Grow some balls and face the person you want to walk out on. Don't use a disguise, be honest......it's less hurtful that way.

I hope my friend knows, that though I cannot be there for her, I am thinking of her during this hard time. I have lost very good friendships due to my own mistakes, or theirs, but I cannot imagine having a long standing friendship go down in flames like this under such a false pretense. My heart aches for my friend, and I wish I COULD do something for her to make her feel better....

Friend...and I know you read this...... That person does NOT deserve your friendship, your heart (platonic of course), or anymore thought after this. You are a good person. You deserve more that what that person gave you, and they & their spouse should be ashamed of their behavior. You may not be religious, but they will be judged one day....and/or Karma is going to bite them in the ass....do not allow them to run to you for a band aid when it does!

Cheer up , friend...you have ME! ;) and I am there for you in spirit and email, whenever you need me!

~Cissa

4 flame(s) added to the fire:

Vanessa said...

Love you, friend!!!!!

jeopardygirl said...

Cissa, you rock! Well said...and thank you.

bettygram said...

I found you again. I came from Dr John's blog, found you in the comments.

Anonymous said...

Not entirely unrelated to this...
my wife worked with and came to be friends with another woman, and as a cohort, with her fiance...

Said woman proceeded to cheat at least twice with a neutral co-worker...

I was in the room when said woman admitted to this indiscretion, and I promptly made my wife aware that at the next gathering of us 4 would, out of respect to the male fiance, make him aware of this...

After my stubbornness on this issue wouldn't budge from my wife's contention that this information was not for me to give, we would simply cease all social activities with this couple (at this point, I remember that my wife was a former co-worker of said woman at this point)...

I've often wondered if this information had reached the poor gentleman. Over time, my wife has conceded that any person who would do this to their fiance wasn't destined to remain our friend for long. Again, I've often wondered if honesty has crept in to this now married couple's life, after a set of twins and at least 5 years...