Take this job and shove it! I ain't workin' here no more....

Yesterday started as a lousy day. but, it got lots better about 3:45 pm when Kaity got pulled from the Lottery for All-Day Kindergarten next year. I was so excited! And happy! I finally had the kick in the ass to do what I have been wanting to do. I have been hoping and praying that Kaity would get in to All-Day so that I can have the motivation to get a job during the day-time, so that I can be with my family in the evenings. So here's a few of the drafts of the letter I'll hand to my boss today at 4:00 PM....

Dear Boss,

I QUIT YOU JERK!!

~Cissa

p.s. can I still work til June 19th though?

a little harsh, I know....lemme try this again...maybe a bit more explination...

Fireheart House
Navy Base, CT
May 20, 2008

Dear Boss Man,

As of this date above, I am giving you official notice of resignation from my position in your establishment, effective June 19th, 2008.

My family comes first. Money is needed, but not so bad that my family has to suffer. You obviously don't get that, because you don't have kids, and your wife works with you. You don't care that I am the primary caretaker of my children and that sometimes, they need me more than they need money. This was very apparent last month when you tried to guilt me into working more hours than I wanted when you little pet worker was out of town. You have no idea what it is like to be me, so don't try to pretend like you do. It's a feeble attempt to manipulate me for your own profit.

As much as I enjoy working for you and our regular customers, the money is not worth the barrage of relationship issues my family has experienced as of late, and with respectful requests from both my husband and children, I am resigning. I hope 30 days notice is sufficient enough for you. It should be. I don't know many waitresses who would do this much for a job that doesn't even pull in $100 in tips a week sometimes.

Sincerely,

~Cissa Fireheart

Hrm...too many big words, plus I don't need to tell him why. Not obligated, so I won't....

05/20/08
Dear Boss Man,

As of June 19th, 2008 I will be resigning as waitress at Little Restaurant. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you, and I hope you will have continued success with your business.

Sincerely,

~Cissa Fireheart

Short but Sweet...it's perfect!

Now I need to work on my resume and find out about Navy After-school Care... but I can do that tomorrow....

oh and I got a fabulous hair-cut today too...I'll post pics later or tomorrow...Paint Shop Pro is being a royal pain for me, and I haven't the patience right now to figure it out.

Hope Your Tuesday is Totally Tubular,
~Cissa

Right now I am extremely aggravated. And I am going to sounds like a total ...well...Bitch...

My kids are driving me up a fucking wall and I am ready to give them up for adoption.

ok let me rephrase that. Kaity is driving me insane. Emily, ironically is being an angel.

I was away from them all weekend, being at work and stuff, and you know? I thought I missed them. But this morning? This morning, Kaity has been the biggest pain in the ass....and I am about the drop kick her across this town.

And this is my day off. I am supposed to be able to relax today. But I am not. At 8:15 am, I am already pissed off.

and I have nothing to write about today...gah...

I guess I will clean after all today...what a waste of a perfectly nice day *sigh*

Happy Monday Folks,

~Cissa

Doctor, Doctor, give me the news, I gotta bad case of lovin' you!

And the good news is that I don't have pneumonia! Woot! But I knew that.

The bad news? I lost another pound from the very painful and draining side effect of the antibiotic. And I was in the bathroom for 2 hours last night...and another hour this morning...after 4 hours of sleep.

Seriously? I'm over being sick....really....I'm not kidding...

My cough has diminished significantly over the last 24 hours however, so that's a good sign.

Another bonus was that the Doctor I had complained about yesterday afternoon was a completely different personality altogether yesterday at my appointment. Apparently whatever crawled up his ass on Tuesday had been extracted, because he was very personable this time around.

So yeah things are turning around for me...sorta....

I can't wait to drop the kids off and come home...can you say Nap Time?

oh yeah......

I will probably post again later, before my girls night out. or maybe I will just take pictures of tonight's activities.....people are getting pierced!

Except me. I don't think I could, being on antibiotics and all....plus, Misk respectfully requested that I not pierce myself.

And to think I considered getting a nipple done! haha! Oh well, his loss I suppose.....

Enjoy your Friday Folks!

~Cissa

Exit light, enter niiiiight....

So I have been trying on and off, unsuccessfully, since about 10:30 this morning to take a nap. I feel fatigued, I know that the trip to the doctor's will probably wear me out, so I figure if I rest, then I will be able to have some energy, right?Easy, simple, I'll just lay here for a few minutes.....um 20 minutes....25.....30....

Nope. Damn. Three times I tried.

So I gave up, got dressed and came here to kill some time after catching up on the ole twitter.....

I totally do not want to go to this doctor's appointment.

Not that I fear he's gonna tell me I have pneumonia, cause I really think I'd be a lot worse if I did. I'm not scared of anything, really. I just don't like the guy I am going to see. He was a total tool to me at my last visit, and I have been uneasy at the thought of going back.....

You see, folks, who don't know anything about Military Benefits, when your Primary Care Manager (PCM) is not available for a same-day appointment, they just send you to some other PCM in the clinic. Usually I score awesomely with the Doc lotto. I even changed my PCM to get the guy I have now, due to 1 appointment with him, he was that awesome...and unfortunately is on vacation, so I got a replacement Doc. This is apparently not my week, because although it is somewhat hazy (hey I did have a 102 degree fever after all), I do specifically recall the Lieutenant who I was assigned to for the appointment was terse, impatient, and had horrible bedside manner.

One specific thing really set off all my alarms: cough medicine with Codeine.

He wanted to give it to me so I could sleep...this is what happened...that I can recall...

Cissa: "Yeah, that doesn't work for me."

Doc Jerk: "It doesn't work for you?"

Cissa: "Nope, when I had bronchitis back in February or March, I was given some and--"

Doc Jerk: "Ok ok, fine I'll give you Mucinex" *scribble scribble into my file*

Cissa: *blink, blink, turn to look at Misk and shrug* O...Kay....*hack hack hack* ugh....

Now, I don't claim to be any kind of medical genius. but I DO have a bit of a college education, have friends and family that are nurses, AND have spent enough time in the military medical system to know that when a patient tells a doctor that a drug that is supposed to do one thing does another, the doctor should inquire more into it....Call me crazy, insane even. But I do know basic medical and military protocol, especially the Navy: it's ask questions till the horse is dead, beaten, disintegrated and turned to dust before solving the problem or jumping to the next issue.

Maybe this Lieutenant didn't want to be there past 4 pm, but that is no reason why he had to be a jerk to me, a patient who was ill...and still is. If he didn't want to be in the Navy, where there are no set hours, then he should have though twice before signing the dotted line. Even if he's Lieutenant, he's still getting paid nicely by the navy for being an officer and a doctor. Surely that nice little paycheck, that's most likely twice what Misk makes at his rank, could soften him a little into a better bedside manner?

Today is his second chance. if he's a jerk again, I am going straight to the patient advocate and registering a complaint.

No one messes with a sick Cissa. I can be a total bitch when I am sick and cranky.....
as opposed to the rest of the time when it's bitch on a whim hehe......

*hacking, although not as much this afternoon*
~Cissa

And I don't want to miss a thing......

This illness has gone on long enough. I am tired of it.

Not only am I tired of it, I am tired of feeling useless, breathless, hacking, and rather un-lovely side effects of my medications that have helped me to lose 7 lbs in the last 3 days. One of those side effects? Not being hungry...the other?...let's just say..what little that does go in, comes back out, rather quickly and without much notice before I can dispose of it in the proper receptacle....

I can't wait to feel better...I wonder how my jeans will fit?

One thing I have learned about having bronchitis again, is that I have awesome friends. One had a lengthy convo with me as I hacked away on the phone and asked her to come to BrittCon with me, since Misk can't go, and honestly, as fun as NYC is, I'm too old and set in my ways to go alone. I like having a travel companion. I hope she says yes...

I have also learned that my friends will go out of their way to help me out in time of sickness. Nicky offered to bring me some of her grandmother's healing tea blends, but has to go all the way to Norwich for some of the herbs, and had no qualms about the 15 miles up and back because I am sick and need it. If that's not an awesome friend who is willing to forgo gas mileage (at $3.89 a gallon) for me, I don't know what is...

At any rate, I have things to take care of today, and I can't, because quite honestly, I can tell I am weaker today than yesterday. I have had to actually take a break from typing to let my arms rest. It's very disheartening to feel so....lousy...I can't drive anywhere, really, because I am afraid I will get the shakes from my inhaler again like I did last night, and end up in an accident. I hate that I have coughing fits after going down then back up a flight of stairs, which normally wouldn't wind me. I would very much like to be able to take my kids to school so they don't have to be subject to my mother's mean-spirited berating outside of my ear-shot. I caught her this morning doing it and as weak as I was, made sure to let her know she needed to cut the crap. But there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do from the confines of the bed or latrine.

Man, and I hate that I have become a big ole whiny baby.....

I am hoping my current condition increases in quality today, so I can drive myself to the doctor's at 3:30. I'd have Misk bring me like the other day, but he'll already be at the medical clinic, and will hopefully be meeting me there after his appointment.

I'm just ready to be better.....seriously.....

BrittCon Attendees - here you go!

yeah, I've got some free time....*hack hack hack* so here is some lovely copy and paste-ness for those who are attending BrittCon 2008!

<a href="http://miss-britt.com/2008/05/im-going-to-go-ahead-and-call-it-brittcon/"><img src="http://i25.tinypic.com/16kb0ah.jpg" /></a>





<a href="http://miss-britt.com/2008/05/im-going-to-go-ahead-and-call-it-brittcon/"><img src="http://i30.tinypic.com/ddyvxw.jpg" /></a>

Ok back to bed I go....I was to lazy to set up the laptop.....maybe I will do that now......*hack hack* ugh.....

~Cissa

We've been here before.....haven't we?

It hasn't even been 2 months since I last had Bronchitis. So imagine my un-surprise when I went to the doctors yesterday and was diagnosed with it. Then I was sent for a chest x-ray, because Doc suspects pneumonia as a possibility as well.

Lovely.

Yesterday was mainly filled with sleeping, 102 fever, sweating, then sleeping again....a nearly perfect circle throughout the day of the same stuff.

I feel a bit better today, but not as much as I'd like. Being in the office where Misk smokes irritates my lungs and it's taking me forever to finish this post because I have to stop for coughing fits.

I need to use the inhaler then go back to bed....but I wanted to let you all know what's up, in case you wonder why the annoying chick isn't commenting everywhere...

I think I might go set up my laptop in bed.....then I can at least keep up....

I want to be a part of it, New York, New York.....

The following images are for Miss Britt, who I am going to have the opportunity to meet next month!!

I am SUPER PSYCHED!!

The first is a huge graphic, but I am not as cool as Dave from Blogography or Avitable or any of you other cool graphic people out there...it's ghetto, but oh, fun to make....

I shoulda been a graphics designer, eh? LMAO

and then a smaller one....still ghetto, but again, I had fun....


Hope you enjoy Miss Britt! I can't wait to meet you and the others who will be meeting at BrittCon!! :)

~Cissa

Mother, Mother, can you hear me?

Overheard things from my children, giving me reasons to love being a mother...

At 5:24 AM

Kaity: Emily Emily!! Where are you!! Emily! I need Emily! (I am awoken to the cry of Kaity, trudging out of bed, I go to her room and try to comfort her)

Me: Emily's at her sleepover honey, do you wanna come crawl in bed with me? Emily will be home tomorrow.

Kaity: No Mommy...Emily will be home to play tomorrow?

Me: Yes, baby...

Kaity: OK, I can sleep til she comes....

About 10:30 AM

(Kaity is laying in bed with Misk and being silly while I dress for work)

Kaity: Do you gots work today, Daddy?

Misk: Nope

Kaity: Good! I can snuggle with you all day! Snuggle Snuggle Snuggle! (Kaity proceeds to snuggle her face into the crook of Misk's arm)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have to work tomorrow for brunch, so I won't be posting ....

Happy Mother's Day to those Bloggers who are Moms!

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine....

Wow. There are some mad and depressed bloggers out there this week. Seriously. Ouch.

I actually feel bad for having such a great life and being happy.

I wanted to post something noble and stuff, but it's just not in me.

And it seems rather...damn what's the word? Ivory-towering-esque... Like I think I am better than everyone. I'm not. I have my flaws, I have my issues. Plus it would be somewhat disrespectful to those folks who are having a tough time right now. Who am I to try and make them feel inferior by saying how great things are? It's would be presumptuous...pompus -- yes that's the word! And that's not cool. No one should try and make themselves feel better by bringing others down.

But in the end, I have my health, my life and my family. I am grateful for all of that. And I can't help but share my happiness to the world. I am humbly happy.

Last night, I spent some quality time with Misk and the kids. It was great. Today, in between folding and putting away the mountain of clothes, I have been reading and commenting on people's blogs. Simplicity in its finest.

But the thing I can't wait to do tonight is to cuddle up in bed and watch TV with Misk, after the kids have gone to bed, and hang out again. It may not happen, but I know it will happen again eventually.

I hope that the bloggers who are having down and out days feel better. I hope the ones who have had great experiences at TequilaCon and learned something good about themselves and others keep that positive vibe going.

I hope we all can get out of the funk that seems to be flowing into the world though. It's a downer. I don't like it. But like all things, I know this too shall pass.

Tomorrow is Friday after all -- how can you not be excited? I know I am! :)

~Cissa

Misk's idea..

last night as I was getting ready for bed, I hear Misk chuckle from the bathroom. He opens the door and says "Look at this."...I go around the door to look at the tub and Misk says "Graffiti cat is in your tub, hehehe." I immediately dashed for the camera and got the shot. Then I visited icanhascheezburger.com and made this....

moar funny pictures

And so, there you are....Bella, our girl kitty in her own LOL cats pic debut!

Yeah, totally goofing off today folks....

~Cissa

So thanks for making me a fighter...

Ok, I am really ticked off this morning. Yesterday was a crappy day, and I thought, after cooling off and doing some breathing exercises to calm me down, I'd head to the bookstore and get some more books. Because, you see, 10 shelves over flowing ith books between Misk and I is not nearly enough.

After spending an hour and $60 on books, I settled into a comfy chair at the cafe with my small Mocha (damn place was out of Javakula mix!), and started reading. After another hour I felt much better indeed. I picked up The Bugaboo (Kaitlyn) from school, let her have a little play date at her friend's, then headed home to chill out some more before work.

Work, you ask? But Cissa, wasn't it Monday, your DAY OFF?? Why, yes, dear friends and readers, it was. But, alas, the girl who had been gone for 2 weeks (and whom I had covered MOST of her shifts, mind you) was apparently NOT able to make it because she wasn't back yet, or so I was told.

So, fiddle-dee-dee, there I am at work, a few tables but still pretty quiet, blah blah blah. The phone rings, and I look at the caller ID, inform my boss that it is the girl who's shift I am covering, and let him pick up the kitchen extension. He's chatting away and I hear...

"So, did you just get back?"

"Oh. Uh-huh..."

"Mm-hmm...a Chicken Gyro? OK see you in a bit."

If my face wasn't previously severely sunburnt at that point, it would have quickly gone as red as it was already. I'm rather certain I did start to turn purple, though. I. was. pissed.

Apparently the girl was back, in town, and had been all day. Not only that, but she had the effing GALL to call in a TAKE OUT ORDER AND COME IN AND PICK IT UP WHILE I WORKED HER EFFING SHIFT!!

Breathe Cissa, breathe......ok, I'm good.

Now, perhaps some of you may think I am over-reacting. Seriously? I am not. If you are going to call in and say you can't come in to work a shift at your job, why would you think it is OK to come in to the place for take-out ??? A couple people I have talked to about it have told me I should have said no to working the shift. Perhaps this is true. But I honestly do not think it would have changed a thing. She still would have come in, thus showing off to whoever was working. It's rude. It's incinsiderate. It's just plain wrong. Especially when I found out what happened at home after arriving back there about 9:30 last night.

Apparently, all the extra shifts I have taken on in the last 2 weeks is really upsetting my kids. Emily more than Kaitlyn, but I think that's because Kait sees me for a few hours after Pre-K, and I am already gone by the time Em gets home. When she got home and asked where I was, my mother told her. She cried hysterically for quite a while.

"She Lied! She Lied! She doesn't love us! Why is she always working?!"

I just about broke down and cried myself when my mother told me how upset Emily got. It's still ripping my heart out. Looking back on yesterday evening, I am more upset about the girl coming in because of my child's reaction to me not being home. She could have worked, but didn't. I know the other waitress who was offered the shift and she also turned it down to spend time with her kids. I am angry at myself for being so nice, because honestly, at that moment, I felt so taken advantage of, and that also angers me.

I don't know what to do. The money has been good, as far as getting my paychecks anyway. But I feel like I am burning out of this job lately. It's starting to affect my kids, and I'd rather live a simpler life and be home more than make my children need therapy because I gave them abandonment issues.

I talked to Emily today and explained to her why I worked, and apologized for not letting her know Monday before school. She was OK about it, but I could tell she was still very upset, and when she asked me if I was working again tonight, the broken look on her face when I answered yes said it all.

As I have said time and time again, Mother of the Year, I am not. And I continue to prove it over and over again.

Hope you all have had a better day. I'm going to go drown in a Diet Coke and a cigarette.

~Cissa

I am sunburnt and it HURTS. And not in a normal way sunburnt, I mean like ONLY my face.

Seriously. After 3 layers of Aloe Vera and a good nights sleep, I am not any less red in the face than I was upon arriving home last night just before being on Mr. Fab's radio show. I was still riding out the adrenaline of the days activities to fully appreciate how red in the face (literally) I was. After signing off and finally looking in a mirror, I understood why my friend called me "beet red".

Normally, this wouldn't bother me, because I know it's a sign that it will tan out, which it usually does. But it's my whole face. And then it started to hurt, and radiate heat. And then I did something stupid.

I had an itch on my nose, and of course went to scratch it. BAD IDEA.

The pain was so intense from my little scratching, that my eyes watered up and I yelled in pain. I had to sleep on my back yesterday, because I couldn't lay on my pillow. The contact to my SOFT PILLOW caused too much pain!

Layer after layer of Aloe Vera goes on my skin. I hoe that I will tan out nicely the next few days.....

Hope you all have a good Monday. Mine has NOT been so great. AND, I have to work tonight -- UGH!

~Cissa

We're gonna make it right, tonight, toniiight, OH-OOOHHHHH...

Wow, fairly obscure song for today's post.

It's Sunday! WOOT!! I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY!!

I have been waiting for today for 2 weeks! YEAH!!

I am heading off in a while to Brandi's. Then we are heading to some other part of CT for some May Pole Dancing! heh. In the rain! AW YEAH!!

I'm practical and packed extra clothes. I am smart like that.

Tonight though, man, tonight is gonna be awesome. My co-hosting/guest-being at Mr.Fab's Radio Show!! Here is a direct link to the show. Warning: You won't get much of anything until about 5 minutes before the show starts.....keep that in mind!

He was a little nasty, but he of course, posted about it this morning on his blog. He seems to think that I might get offended or something. I think Ole Fabby forgets that I am a SAILOR'S WIFE. HAHA...There's not much I haven't heard, although with Mr. Fab, it is possible that I haven't heard a thing or two. But I doubt very much I'll be bothered or offended...haha.

So, all those drunks --- I mean, "lucky TequilaCon Attendees", might end up showing up to listen in. I hope so. I may be insanely jealous of them, but that doesn't mean I don't want them to listen. After all, it's all about me....and my insanity....muahaha!

And besides, I have an ideal idea for a spot for next year's tequila Con....I'll tell you all about it tonight!! But I will give you a hint.....It's close to where I live, AND has slot machines, poker tables and FABULOUS (i.e. expensive) SHOPPING!!!

Hope you all tune in to the show tonight!

~Cissa

We can't even think of a word that rhymes....

Ok, seriously? Fridays are the BEST. DAYS. EVER. They have officially replaced Mondays as my favorite day of the week, for two reasons.

1.) I don't have to work and I get a break form the kids during the day.
Much like Mondays...except that in addition to this happiness...

2.) I get to hang out with my girlfriends, which most of the time leads to drunken debauchery, yet we stay manage to never get in trouble and not get too hungover.

For the first time in a loooong time, that I can remember, I actually got too drunk to drive without having previously appointed a Designated Driver. It all worked out of course and I got driven home, but herein lies the problem: Misk was supposed to drive me to work this morning, because, guess what? We went drinking and singing Karaoke at my work. But he is fast asleep, having been stupid enough to think that he could stay up all night so he could drive me in this morning. Snoring away, he is. I can't even get him to roll over onto his side so he'll stop.

I love the man, but sometimes, he doesn't use his best judgment. Obviously he won't be able to drive me in to work in about 40 minutes. So now I have to drive his shitbox myself, and I still end up with a car being left at work. Guess which one I am NOT driving home?

I was smart in the end though. Before I even left the bar, I had two big glasses of water, and took two headache pills and another glass at home before passing out. This morning, I had toast to suck up what's left of the alcohol. I'm not even hungover. Just tired.

But if I was, last night was totally worth it!

Have a great Saturday. Don't forget -- I am the guest on Mr. Fab's Radio Show tomorrow at 7:00 PM!!

~Cissa

First day of may, Things are beginning....

Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of my step-dad's death. Mom handled it pretty well, I think. She excited about the new chapter in her life, but she was quiet yesterday, naturally.

Yesterday was a great day of reflection for me. It was rather relaxing. Went to new Haven, got the last session in for Angie at Dental School. My teeth are so clean and white now!

But today, is a joyous day. I am celebrating.

It's Beltane, better known as May Day.

Spring is in full swing, flowers blooming, trees budding and blooming. Nature is waking up and saying HEY PAY ATTENTION!! THE WORLD IS ALIVE AGAIN!!

One of the best things about today was early, early, just after midnight. Misk and I were laying in bed, just..talking...about all sorts of things. And I got his support for some future personal and spiritual endeavors, as well as his interest in it and his own knowledge of things. He is the best husband ever I tell you! We talked on a level that we don't usually, and I was so excited to hear what he had to say. I felt like I was surrounded in a cocoon of love. I know it sounds all mushy and gushy, but really. I truly haven't felt this close to him in a long time.

Sunday I will gather with some friends and celebrate. We'll have a May Pole and everything. I can't wait.

Did I mention that later that evening I will be the guest to Mr. Fab's Radio Show? hehe Hope you all will tune in!

Tomorrow is a gonna be a fun day. Misk and I will bring the kids to Kids Karnival at the Sub Base Youth Center. I get to sign the kids up for Cheerleading, eat carnival food and go on rides! WOOT!

Well I gotta get ready for my last day of 6 days straight of work...I hope against all hopes I actually have customers tonight! That would be nice for a change. You know, making money....

Have a great Thursday

~Cissa

But occasionally, I wanna talk about meeee....

So Metalmom tagged me, and I accept. without further ado...6 quirks about me.

1. I have bladder issues. Nothing major, really, just I always have to use the loo at the most inappropriate times...usually when Misk is in the middle of making out with me. I think I get all excited, and my bladder freaks out and decides it needs to be emptied. Also during Nessa's wedding during the vows, it was so emotional, and I really had to go then...

2. I am a pack-rat. I try not to be, though. About once a year I go through all my stuff and get rid of things...but I always seem to end up with more stuff...it's hereditary...my mom has spent the last 3 days going through boxes and bags of stuff she's collected over 7 years in order to get ready to move to Maine.

3. When I first saw Misk, I thought he was Christian Bale. Then I got closer and realized he wasn't. I still wanted to bag him.

4. I used to be a bit of a....promiscuous person. I knew I was in love with Misk for sure when I didn't sleep with him on our first date. In fact, it took me 3 months and 1 day exactly to finally hop in the sack with him.

5. Watching tv shows or movies that have proud patriotic moments makes me tear up. I wish I knew why. I can almost never get through the national anthem without shedding a tear.

6. I am a Goddess-loving, tree-hugging, dirt worshiper.

ok now the Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. Metalmom, YOU ROCK!

2. Mention the rules on your blog. ooooh, I can do that..wait, I'm am doing that no, aren't I?

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours. I'm 3 for 3 so far, AWESOME!

4. Tag 6 bloggers and link them. Jeopardygirl, Dr. John, Lori (Serendipity & Rain), Hilly, Turnbaby & Slick (man I am reaching today...i hope you all read this!)

5. Notify taggees by leaving a comment on their blog. Well, I suppose I ought to now, eh? I think I will do this tomorrow when I have more time...

We are family, I got all my sisters with me....

It seems to me, given my recent foray into genealogy, that so many people are related. For instance, through marriages and births, cousins, aunts and uncles of my descendants, I am related to our current and former Presidents Bush, The Roosevelt Presidents, Ralph Waldo Emerson Humphrey Bogart and the Baldwin Brothers, just to start. The search is unbelievably fascinating, and me, being the instant gratification gal that I am, I just seem to point and click through an endless maze of names, until I find something interesting. Here's a few things I have discovered:

• A very distant aunt of mine Mary (Perkins) Bradbury, was accused of witchcraft in Salem in 1692. Before she was tried, she was helped to escape and fled to another town. After the trials were over, by 1693, she returned to Salem and died a few years later.

• That same Mary Perkins was a 16th generation of the Perkins Family, which may or may not have relation dating back to the 900's Dutchy of Brittany. With several royal connections including King Henry III of England.

• There is a Sgt. Williams Harlow Association in New England. Their goal is to find all living connections to Sgt. William Harlow of Pre-Colonial times. (first 20 years in Mass.). I am among this list. I am a 13th generation descendant of him.

• I have a descendant connection to THREE original Mayflower Passengers - Richard Warren, John Howland and John Tilley. There may be a fourth connection. I am still exploring.

• People really liked the names, John, Mary, Ruth, Robert and David. A LOT. My eyes have crossed more times than I can say from all this reading of the same name over and over.

• Desire is also a name which popped up a lot in my family. I think it's a rather odd name, for the times I found it in, but hey, I am not the one who named them.

• This is going to take a LOT longer than I thought to fully finish. I may have to bring in the big guns and actually buy a family tree program. Writing it out is not quite working for me...LMAO

Needless to say, I have not been blogging a lot the last few days. I have been reading, just not commenting. I am working 6 days this week. Not to mention going to New Haven tomorrow, Friday is the Kids Karnival with Misk and the kids, and Sunday I am meeting with some friends to celebrate May Day (a few days late).

Sunday Night at 7:00 PM, however, I will the guest of Mr. Fabulous on Blog Talk Radio! I will make sure to link to the site on Saturday evening, but if not Mr. Fab ALWAYS has a link on his blog Sunday. Just think! an entire hour devoted to me!! LOL. I am actually a little nervous. I am curious as to what he will want to talk about, and how *ahem* dirty it will get. I will have to remind Mr. Fab I am a mother of two small kids...and they traipse in and out of my office ...a lot....hehe...nah, I will just kick them out or throw them in the bathtub, that ought to help keep them occupied!

Well, I am off to surf the net. I have a self-imposed break from the genealogy today as I am tired and also my eyes hurt from so much fine print reading. Then it's off to do some shopping!

Have a fabulous day, folks!

~Cissa

And now that I am more concious....

This week, the plan is to make a complete chart of my family history with dates and all, to show you all and the Mayflower Society my connection to the two people I am a 17th or 18th generation to.

I started this because out of nowhere I got my self the idea to look up a certain family member who's name came out of literally, nowhere.

I was told by a very good friend that was something I needed to pursue. About 12:30 AM I got the first hankering of why I needed to do it. All in all, totally worth lack of sleep. I am still on a high about it.

ok, listening to Mr. Fab then Turnbaby on the radio. getting mentally prepared to start the "project" tomorrow sometime.

Hope you all have had a good weekend. Mine was awesome!

You spin me right round baby, right round....

I think I am gonna pass out. It's 1:30 am, and after 2 days of looking, I have found what I have been searching for...

I am almost positive that I am a descendant of not one, but TWO of the original passengers on the Mayflower!!

I cannot even begin to explain the excitement and exhaustion I am experiencing.....

I never believed it. I always thought it was a made up part of my family's history.

Nope. Totally right. I can NOT believe it!!

I look forward to figuring this out when I am more awake, but for now....

OH MY GOD!!!

Hush! For a Good Cause...

Normally I would post. See why I am not HERE.


Thanks to Karl for the inspiration & information.

No music lyric for this post.....

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday. It is also the day she died.

Her name was Ruth Mae. She would have been 8 years old.

I am going to direct you to 3 links, because I've already told the story once on here, and that was a hard enough thing to do.

Mae's Story Part 1

Mae's Story Part 2

In Memoriam

Most years I do not do anything on her birthday, literally; I lie in my bed and shut out the rest of the world, crying all day and clutching to the few remnants I have to remember her by. But because of circumstances beyond my control, this year is different. I am heading to New Haven today to sit for Angie in dental school, and then I am going to work this evening.

Usually I lock myself away from the world, for this one day, and mourn my baby girl. Probably not the healthiest thing to do, but I didn't know how else to handle my grief. This year is different. I have resolved to remember her, as always, and I will do my ritual of bringing out her box and looking at her lock of hair, her pictures, her blanket, etc. But this year, I will not dwell on it all day. I will allow myself to be a part of the rest of the world, and try to find peace within, despite the grief that swells up as it always does. I will not allow it to overwhelm me as it has in the past.

This year has been so crazy, Navy-wise, Life-wise, family-wise, that I almost didn't realize today was here until this weekend when my boss asked me to work on Wednesday. I knew it was coming, because it is April. I just didn't realize how fast.

Now it's here. But I can can handle it.....

I love you, My little Mae Flower.

~Cissa

But the fevers gonna catch you when the bitch gets back...

I know that's a terrible title for the post, but it's been running through my brain ever since last night. And honestly I don't mean it. But it popped into my head, so there it is...

Mom and the girls are both back. The kids are back for good til Summer sometime.

Mom is back for a few weeks....til she moves...to MAINE!

I, of course, had to work all day during what was, hands down, the best bloody day we've had in 6 months. It was like 70+ degrees here in SE Connecticut, and I was in a restaurant ALL DAY.

How many customers did I get you ask? 2...YES..2 customers! I was bored out of my bloody skull. But at least I caught up on my reading!

The last customer for me didn't show up until 15 minutes before my shift was over, making me stay an extra 1/2 hour, which totally sucked because I just wanted to go home. I missed the girls more than I would have admitted all week. The freedom was great, and relaxing, but...

When I finally got home and heard the elephant tramplings down the stair and saw the shining smiles of Kaity then Emily, I just about crumpled right there. I swear, in one week, they both shot up at least 2 inches. New England blessed Spring break with gorgeous weather all week, and it was apparent that my father took full advantage of it and kept the girls outside most of it. Their faces were tan with twinges of pink from slight sunburn. They looked alive and happy, but I could tell that as much fun as they had with Grandma and Grandpa, they also missed home.

We hung out and I tried to get them to tell me all about their trip. Of course, they don't remember much, or just didn't have words to tell me, I don't know. I knew my mom was due back in that night so we all piled into the bed and watched MythBusters chatted and had tickle fights til I got the call from mom to pick her up. Mom was happy to be back, but I could tell something was different.

She said she couldn't wait til she went back.

Yeah, I am happy.

And now, I am going to sign-off and hang out with my family before work...but look for me tonight in the chat for Mr. Faboulous' Radio Show! By the way, May 4th, I am the guest on Mr. Fab's show! how exciting!! I can't wait...

I'm not angry it's never been enough, It gets inside and it tears you up

I am going to write today about something that really bothers the hell out of me. A good friend of mine is dealing with this issue, and because I am so passionate about defending friends when they are wronged, I need to vent. I am really in a fabulous mood to be honest, but this is a topic that affects a LOT of people, so I am going to talk about it...among other things....

Ladies, girls, women...ALL FEMALES...

YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN/WOMAN/PARTNER IN YOUR LIFE TO FEEL YOU ARE OF ANY WORTH IN THIS WORLD!!!

I guess I am a modern woman. I do have some notions of...what's the word, women's liberation and equality. Yes, I am married, and devoted to my husband. And yes, I do like him to get me flowers and open doors for me, so maybe I am a little traditional as well. But you know what? I don't have to be the perfect little wife and mother to be happy with my life. I love my kids, and am blessed to have brought them into this world...I know I could pull my own weight if Misk suddenly decided he didn't want to be with me anymore. And I would be OK with that. My mother may not have been a stellar mother, but the ONE thing she taught me was to always rely on myself before anyone else. Yes, I may have faltered here and there, but not for any amount of time that would constitute outright sacrifice of self worth and be the representation of my own life.

A loooong time ago, I was an actress. Yep, I was in college for theatre. Then I met Misk. I fell in love with him. I gave up theatre and acting for a while, but I always had a longing to continue -- and you know what? Misk encouraged me to pursue my happiness. So I did. I have performed in a few productions of local theatre companies in the places I have lived over the last 10 years. I've done quite a few auditions. Misk has always been there to support me when I have a role or if I don't get cast. I am lucky. I am very lucky because I know for a FACT that some of my friends' husbands would not be as supportive.

It drives me mad with anger that a man would try to suppress a woman in pursuing a dream. Even if it was a dream to learn to paint, or to grow a garden in the crappy little patch of dirt in front of the house. Nothing should be discouraged. How much do women give up to support their partners? SO MUCH. And yet, if a woman finds she is sad, depressed, or feels unfulfilled, it's assumed that she must be a terrible woman because she is not doing her job of supporting well enough. Which then leads to more feelings of inadequacy and "counseling" or medications. If she does start to pursue her dream, she is considered not being supportive of that partner enough...It's a double edged sword and it is NOT RIGHT.

I don't care what religion you practice. All religions have a basic "Golden Rule" about treating others as you would want to be treated. But how much does that rule apply when the "other" is your partner? More often than not, it is not even applied.

I am so angry, I cannot see straight when I see an example of this. I probably am not even making sense because my anger is distracting me and I am unable to conjure the words that I want to.

I don't talk alot of religion, but I will say this. There are religions out there where the main deity is a Female force. Obviously they are not Christian. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that. I've got a news flash for you people out there who think that anything before Christ is not worth mentioning. For probably more than double of your religions time of existance, those other religions were thriving. The only reason why the top 3 world religions came about to be so popular was because Men decided they should be in charge and they did everything they could to get there -- including raping, killing and destroying any woman who did not want to conform. Over the last couple thousand years, Judaism/Islam/Christianity has been the dominating force, and that's the reason why women are so suppressed now. At least, from what I have been reading it is.

I thought I knew my heart. I thought I knew what I believed - with much conviction. I think I had that decision in my mind because it's the only thing I've been told for nearly my last 30 years. But I am not so closed-minded anymore. I know who reads this blog. Some of you are family even. Some of you are Good Christian People, and I do not have any malice for you. You believe what you believe, and it works for you. I think it's great. You are happy, and I say good for you that what you believe is what's for you. It's just not for me anymore. And I am not saying that I don't believe in God. I am just saying perhaps God isn't the only one out there.

So ...to sum up my entry for today....Women do not need a life partner to be worthy in this world, no matter what society/your religion says. A good successful marriage should include a support system from both sides. I do not consider myself a Christian anymore.

back to the cleaning...

~Cissa

I’m young and free, and suddenly it’s spring. ...

Random pictures taken of Yale as I walked around New Haven yesterday afternoon....The weather was fair and warm and I soaked up the vibration of the world being reborn....Yale University campus is truly enchanting in Spring..

Today, as you gaze at the wonders of these historical buildings, imagine the scores of young men and women who have passed through archways, looked out of windows and were awed at the beauty of architecture. Eager to learn and then bring to the world their thoughts and ideas of idealistic thinking that only can come about from being young and free....

I am finally ready to clean the kids room...enjoy and I will post pictures from that Tomorrow...

~Cissa

It was ladies night, oh what a night!

I promised pictures, and after being chastized by Nessa, here they are.....

I am in my bath towel as I type having just taken a ridiculously long shower....Mr. Fabulous can day dream on that all day while I post pictures from Sub Ball...

Me with pin curls - front view

Top view

Back View


With the 'do rag on and a 2nd glass of wine...

Me after taking the pin curls out, before the brushing commenced


Mid Brushing.....


Finished Product-- Me right before we left


The Ladies and I at the ball...


Our Centerpiece
(we were the only ones who brought one -- apparently this base doens't do the centerpiece competition anymore)


Me, full picture


A really good picture of Brandi I had to put in because of the "Window Incident"
which I will explain later....


A really good picture of Erin too....

And that's it folks! HAPPY NOW NESSA???

(New) London calling to the faraway towns...

A mere 3 hours after my last post I was stuck in what I like to call "my worst nightmare"

Traffic. Due to an accident.

I wasn't in a hurry, but I was tired, Angie was tired, and we just wanted to go home and relax. Misk had called only a few minutes earlier because we were running a half hour later than I told him I would be home, and I waived off his "wondering" with a sigh:

"We're almost to the bridge dear, we'll be home in 10 minutes..."

2 minutes later, we were not moving.

We could see the news helicopter in the air, so we knew something was happening. Hell traffic on I-95 was stopped dead, and it was obvious it was right smack ont he Gold Start Bridge. That crosses the Thames River. Which litterally leads to my neighborhood. The traffic, which happened to fall in the midst of Rush Hour. Yep, it was 5 o'clock. traffic ended up being backed up for miles....

After waiting for a bout 20 minutes, Angie figured out that we could make the alternate route to the "Mohegan Bridge" and down rt 12. yes it would take a little while longer, but it was better than sitting in non-moving traffic, especially on a day when the weather was warm and we had a tractor trailer exhaust right next to us and we could not roll the windows down, for the fear we'd die from the diesel exhaust *sigh*

Apparently we were not the only people who had the idea to take the alternate route, and of course, even the alternate route was slow. Had we waited an extra 15 minutes, we would have been able to make it over the Gold Star Bridge and home a lot sooner, I think. But we didn't know what was happening or how long, so at the time, taking the alternate route was a good idea, I think.

So I didn't get home til nearly 6 pm. Do you think I was about to clean? Hell NO!

Misk and I went out to dinner, walked around Wal-mart then went home and hung out.

The cleaning was defaulted to today. Which obviously I have not started on yet. Because I am here, talking to all you people...Or tying rather...

Oh and did I mention it is Military Pay Day? Yep, I gots errands to run. Before work at 4 PM.

Damn, it's never gonna get cleaned, is it?

*sigh*

~Cissa

When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...

Greetings once more from New Haven! For the second time in a month I am at Big Book Store on the WiFi (note: not FREE WiFi), and decided to toss out a little howdy do to you all.

If any of you listened to Mr. Fab's radio show last night you will see that I made a phone call to Fabby, and of course Robin. Thanks to my general complains about his scheduling conflicts, Yours Truly will be the guess on Mr. Fab's show on May 4th!

Don't worry. I will make sure to link to the show lots of times that week. You will have to register with Blog Talk Radio in order to chat while you listen. I also chatted during Turnbaby's show. It took me a while to figure it all out (sometimes technology eludes my mind) but it was really fun. Thanks to The Absurdist for helping me figure out my techno problems!

Alas I had to leave at 9 pm, as I was getting up this morning at O-Dark-Hundred for Angie to pick me up and head to Yale Country. Except, at the University of New Haven....on the other side of town...

Speaking of Yale, last Wednesday I was there with my good friend Tink (link on right, although she hasn't updated in ages, the punk), who just happens to work there. Has anyone ever been there? It was such a surreal experience! The buildings are flippin' GORGEOUS! I felt like I was walking in the middle of a movie set or something. It's EXACTLY how an Ivy league school should look. I am going to take pictures this Wednesday when I go back.

Now, I know I promised you all pictures of the Sub Ball by today, but the ole laptop does not have a card reader and I was simply too busy getting it on with Misk last night to add the pictures. So I am sorry but you all will have to wait another day to see me in all my poodle-haired glory.

So today I sit here, enjoying my Mocha Lite Frappuccino and surfing...at least til I get bored with the internet in this craptastically glaring window seat (the only spot that had access to the LONE PLUG in this place for the laptop). Then it's off to the crafting store to find things for a specific personal project I am working on (sorry I can't talk about everything in my personal life, as much as you folks crave it :P...and NO it's nothing perverse or sexual, those of you who would think in that way)

Then I head home and begin the pinnacle of The Kids Are Gone Week -- Cleaning the kids' room. I've got large black outdoor garbage bags, and I am NOT afraid to use them! I am taking bets on how many it will take to finish. I say 3 bags. Any takers? The winner(s) will get something...I dunno what...oh I know! An entire week of blogs on the topic(s) of your choice, no holds barred...I will talk about whatever you people ask, no matter how personal, how disgusting or kinky (hey I KNOW Mr. Fab would LOVE to win and come up with some whopper topics for me). Multiple winners will have to split the week amongst themselves.

If I win, all who placed a bet MUST one day next week, mention my blog (with a link), and give a paragraph talking about how wonderful I am. (Can you tell I need the ego boost? LOL) I'll announce the winners & losers on Friday, as I predict it will take me at least 3 days to clean their room (yes it is THAT BAD).

Well I am off.....take care all.....and wish me luck witht he cleaning this afternoon!

~Cissa

Bliss

No Kids, Sub Ball done, house is quiet, even if Misk is in the next room sleeping...

I REALLY wish I didn't have to work this weekend.

Oh well at least I can enjoy tonight.

Yay! Sex with Misk! With no kids in the house!

I fully expect the cops to show up from all the screaming...heh...

.........................anyway...........................

Pictures from the Ball and stuff to follow sometime in the next 48 hours.

A remedy for all your ills at the Lost & Found....

I cannot find my ditty bag.

I have been tearing this house apart trying to find it.

Oh yeah, ditty bag...that's military for "Toiletries Bag".

I had this really nice one that came with a luggage set that I got when I went to Florida back in October. It hangs on a self contained hook and has organize nooks and crannies, etc. It's really cute. Last I saw it was back in December when I spent the night at Nessa's. But it's gone now, and I am freaking out.

It has stuff I left in it, you see. Things that I specially selected for my anal retentive self for trips overnight. I have this huge fear of running out of something I will need on a trip, even an over night one. Granted, Nessa live litterally, right down the street from a CVS and Wal-greens and a Wal-mart even. Hell i bet she even has stuff of her own I can use!

But I am still freaking out.

Come to think of it...I haven't seen that little gym bag it came with either....last I saw that I was with Nicky...hmmm...maybe it's in the garage...

But I am entirely too tired to look for it now. I would have to go downstairs to the garage. At night. With bad lighting...into a garage filled with total CRAP...yeah..so I am thinking I will wait until tomorrow when it's daylight. I will save the risk of falling and breaking my neck. Plus I might actually find it tomorrow.

If it's not in there, there's only one other place it could be -- in Maine with my mother. I truly hope it isn't. I mean not that I mind really, but if she did borrow it, some warning might have been nice so that I did not freak out like I am now...and could have at least emptied it before she took it.

I guess I will just wait and see.

In the mean time, I must stop with the packing and get some sleep.

I bet that Diet Coke I just drank while I freaked out isn't going to help that. Damn...

Have a great rest of your week, folks.

~Cissa