But occasionally, I wanna talk about meeee....

So Metalmom tagged me, and I accept. without further ado...6 quirks about me.

1. I have bladder issues. Nothing major, really, just I always have to use the loo at the most inappropriate times...usually when Misk is in the middle of making out with me. I think I get all excited, and my bladder freaks out and decides it needs to be emptied. Also during Nessa's wedding during the vows, it was so emotional, and I really had to go then...

2. I am a pack-rat. I try not to be, though. About once a year I go through all my stuff and get rid of things...but I always seem to end up with more stuff...it's hereditary...my mom has spent the last 3 days going through boxes and bags of stuff she's collected over 7 years in order to get ready to move to Maine.

3. When I first saw Misk, I thought he was Christian Bale. Then I got closer and realized he wasn't. I still wanted to bag him.

4. I used to be a bit of a....promiscuous person. I knew I was in love with Misk for sure when I didn't sleep with him on our first date. In fact, it took me 3 months and 1 day exactly to finally hop in the sack with him.

5. Watching tv shows or movies that have proud patriotic moments makes me tear up. I wish I knew why. I can almost never get through the national anthem without shedding a tear.

6. I am a Goddess-loving, tree-hugging, dirt worshiper.

ok now the Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. Metalmom, YOU ROCK!

2. Mention the rules on your blog. ooooh, I can do that..wait, I'm am doing that no, aren't I?

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours. I'm 3 for 3 so far, AWESOME!

4. Tag 6 bloggers and link them. Jeopardygirl, Dr. John, Lori (Serendipity & Rain), Hilly, Turnbaby & Slick (man I am reaching today...i hope you all read this!)

5. Notify taggees by leaving a comment on their blog. Well, I suppose I ought to now, eh? I think I will do this tomorrow when I have more time...

We are family, I got all my sisters with me....

It seems to me, given my recent foray into genealogy, that so many people are related. For instance, through marriages and births, cousins, aunts and uncles of my descendants, I am related to our current and former Presidents Bush, The Roosevelt Presidents, Ralph Waldo Emerson Humphrey Bogart and the Baldwin Brothers, just to start. The search is unbelievably fascinating, and me, being the instant gratification gal that I am, I just seem to point and click through an endless maze of names, until I find something interesting. Here's a few things I have discovered:

• A very distant aunt of mine Mary (Perkins) Bradbury, was accused of witchcraft in Salem in 1692. Before she was tried, she was helped to escape and fled to another town. After the trials were over, by 1693, she returned to Salem and died a few years later.

• That same Mary Perkins was a 16th generation of the Perkins Family, which may or may not have relation dating back to the 900's Dutchy of Brittany. With several royal connections including King Henry III of England.

• There is a Sgt. Williams Harlow Association in New England. Their goal is to find all living connections to Sgt. William Harlow of Pre-Colonial times. (first 20 years in Mass.). I am among this list. I am a 13th generation descendant of him.

• I have a descendant connection to THREE original Mayflower Passengers - Richard Warren, John Howland and John Tilley. There may be a fourth connection. I am still exploring.

• People really liked the names, John, Mary, Ruth, Robert and David. A LOT. My eyes have crossed more times than I can say from all this reading of the same name over and over.

• Desire is also a name which popped up a lot in my family. I think it's a rather odd name, for the times I found it in, but hey, I am not the one who named them.

• This is going to take a LOT longer than I thought to fully finish. I may have to bring in the big guns and actually buy a family tree program. Writing it out is not quite working for me...LMAO

Needless to say, I have not been blogging a lot the last few days. I have been reading, just not commenting. I am working 6 days this week. Not to mention going to New Haven tomorrow, Friday is the Kids Karnival with Misk and the kids, and Sunday I am meeting with some friends to celebrate May Day (a few days late).

Sunday Night at 7:00 PM, however, I will the guest of Mr. Fabulous on Blog Talk Radio! I will make sure to link to the site on Saturday evening, but if not Mr. Fab ALWAYS has a link on his blog Sunday. Just think! an entire hour devoted to me!! LOL. I am actually a little nervous. I am curious as to what he will want to talk about, and how *ahem* dirty it will get. I will have to remind Mr. Fab I am a mother of two small kids...and they traipse in and out of my office ...a lot....hehe...nah, I will just kick them out or throw them in the bathtub, that ought to help keep them occupied!

Well, I am off to surf the net. I have a self-imposed break from the genealogy today as I am tired and also my eyes hurt from so much fine print reading. Then it's off to do some shopping!

Have a fabulous day, folks!

~Cissa

And now that I am more concious....

This week, the plan is to make a complete chart of my family history with dates and all, to show you all and the Mayflower Society my connection to the two people I am a 17th or 18th generation to.

I started this because out of nowhere I got my self the idea to look up a certain family member who's name came out of literally, nowhere.

I was told by a very good friend that was something I needed to pursue. About 12:30 AM I got the first hankering of why I needed to do it. All in all, totally worth lack of sleep. I am still on a high about it.

ok, listening to Mr. Fab then Turnbaby on the radio. getting mentally prepared to start the "project" tomorrow sometime.

Hope you all have had a good weekend. Mine was awesome!

You spin me right round baby, right round....

I think I am gonna pass out. It's 1:30 am, and after 2 days of looking, I have found what I have been searching for...

I am almost positive that I am a descendant of not one, but TWO of the original passengers on the Mayflower!!

I cannot even begin to explain the excitement and exhaustion I am experiencing.....

I never believed it. I always thought it was a made up part of my family's history.

Nope. Totally right. I can NOT believe it!!

I look forward to figuring this out when I am more awake, but for now....

OH MY GOD!!!

Hush! For a Good Cause...

Normally I would post. See why I am not HERE.


Thanks to Karl for the inspiration & information.

No music lyric for this post.....

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday. It is also the day she died.

Her name was Ruth Mae. She would have been 8 years old.

I am going to direct you to 3 links, because I've already told the story once on here, and that was a hard enough thing to do.

Mae's Story Part 1

Mae's Story Part 2

In Memoriam

Most years I do not do anything on her birthday, literally; I lie in my bed and shut out the rest of the world, crying all day and clutching to the few remnants I have to remember her by. But because of circumstances beyond my control, this year is different. I am heading to New Haven today to sit for Angie in dental school, and then I am going to work this evening.

Usually I lock myself away from the world, for this one day, and mourn my baby girl. Probably not the healthiest thing to do, but I didn't know how else to handle my grief. This year is different. I have resolved to remember her, as always, and I will do my ritual of bringing out her box and looking at her lock of hair, her pictures, her blanket, etc. But this year, I will not dwell on it all day. I will allow myself to be a part of the rest of the world, and try to find peace within, despite the grief that swells up as it always does. I will not allow it to overwhelm me as it has in the past.

This year has been so crazy, Navy-wise, Life-wise, family-wise, that I almost didn't realize today was here until this weekend when my boss asked me to work on Wednesday. I knew it was coming, because it is April. I just didn't realize how fast.

Now it's here. But I can can handle it.....

I love you, My little Mae Flower.

~Cissa

But the fevers gonna catch you when the bitch gets back...

I know that's a terrible title for the post, but it's been running through my brain ever since last night. And honestly I don't mean it. But it popped into my head, so there it is...

Mom and the girls are both back. The kids are back for good til Summer sometime.

Mom is back for a few weeks....til she moves...to MAINE!

I, of course, had to work all day during what was, hands down, the best bloody day we've had in 6 months. It was like 70+ degrees here in SE Connecticut, and I was in a restaurant ALL DAY.

How many customers did I get you ask? 2...YES..2 customers! I was bored out of my bloody skull. But at least I caught up on my reading!

The last customer for me didn't show up until 15 minutes before my shift was over, making me stay an extra 1/2 hour, which totally sucked because I just wanted to go home. I missed the girls more than I would have admitted all week. The freedom was great, and relaxing, but...

When I finally got home and heard the elephant tramplings down the stair and saw the shining smiles of Kaity then Emily, I just about crumpled right there. I swear, in one week, they both shot up at least 2 inches. New England blessed Spring break with gorgeous weather all week, and it was apparent that my father took full advantage of it and kept the girls outside most of it. Their faces were tan with twinges of pink from slight sunburn. They looked alive and happy, but I could tell that as much fun as they had with Grandma and Grandpa, they also missed home.

We hung out and I tried to get them to tell me all about their trip. Of course, they don't remember much, or just didn't have words to tell me, I don't know. I knew my mom was due back in that night so we all piled into the bed and watched MythBusters chatted and had tickle fights til I got the call from mom to pick her up. Mom was happy to be back, but I could tell something was different.

She said she couldn't wait til she went back.

Yeah, I am happy.

And now, I am going to sign-off and hang out with my family before work...but look for me tonight in the chat for Mr. Faboulous' Radio Show! By the way, May 4th, I am the guest on Mr. Fab's show! how exciting!! I can't wait...

I'm not angry it's never been enough, It gets inside and it tears you up

I am going to write today about something that really bothers the hell out of me. A good friend of mine is dealing with this issue, and because I am so passionate about defending friends when they are wronged, I need to vent. I am really in a fabulous mood to be honest, but this is a topic that affects a LOT of people, so I am going to talk about it...among other things....

Ladies, girls, women...ALL FEMALES...

YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN/WOMAN/PARTNER IN YOUR LIFE TO FEEL YOU ARE OF ANY WORTH IN THIS WORLD!!!

I guess I am a modern woman. I do have some notions of...what's the word, women's liberation and equality. Yes, I am married, and devoted to my husband. And yes, I do like him to get me flowers and open doors for me, so maybe I am a little traditional as well. But you know what? I don't have to be the perfect little wife and mother to be happy with my life. I love my kids, and am blessed to have brought them into this world...I know I could pull my own weight if Misk suddenly decided he didn't want to be with me anymore. And I would be OK with that. My mother may not have been a stellar mother, but the ONE thing she taught me was to always rely on myself before anyone else. Yes, I may have faltered here and there, but not for any amount of time that would constitute outright sacrifice of self worth and be the representation of my own life.

A loooong time ago, I was an actress. Yep, I was in college for theatre. Then I met Misk. I fell in love with him. I gave up theatre and acting for a while, but I always had a longing to continue -- and you know what? Misk encouraged me to pursue my happiness. So I did. I have performed in a few productions of local theatre companies in the places I have lived over the last 10 years. I've done quite a few auditions. Misk has always been there to support me when I have a role or if I don't get cast. I am lucky. I am very lucky because I know for a FACT that some of my friends' husbands would not be as supportive.

It drives me mad with anger that a man would try to suppress a woman in pursuing a dream. Even if it was a dream to learn to paint, or to grow a garden in the crappy little patch of dirt in front of the house. Nothing should be discouraged. How much do women give up to support their partners? SO MUCH. And yet, if a woman finds she is sad, depressed, or feels unfulfilled, it's assumed that she must be a terrible woman because she is not doing her job of supporting well enough. Which then leads to more feelings of inadequacy and "counseling" or medications. If she does start to pursue her dream, she is considered not being supportive of that partner enough...It's a double edged sword and it is NOT RIGHT.

I don't care what religion you practice. All religions have a basic "Golden Rule" about treating others as you would want to be treated. But how much does that rule apply when the "other" is your partner? More often than not, it is not even applied.

I am so angry, I cannot see straight when I see an example of this. I probably am not even making sense because my anger is distracting me and I am unable to conjure the words that I want to.

I don't talk alot of religion, but I will say this. There are religions out there where the main deity is a Female force. Obviously they are not Christian. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that. I've got a news flash for you people out there who think that anything before Christ is not worth mentioning. For probably more than double of your religions time of existance, those other religions were thriving. The only reason why the top 3 world religions came about to be so popular was because Men decided they should be in charge and they did everything they could to get there -- including raping, killing and destroying any woman who did not want to conform. Over the last couple thousand years, Judaism/Islam/Christianity has been the dominating force, and that's the reason why women are so suppressed now. At least, from what I have been reading it is.

I thought I knew my heart. I thought I knew what I believed - with much conviction. I think I had that decision in my mind because it's the only thing I've been told for nearly my last 30 years. But I am not so closed-minded anymore. I know who reads this blog. Some of you are family even. Some of you are Good Christian People, and I do not have any malice for you. You believe what you believe, and it works for you. I think it's great. You are happy, and I say good for you that what you believe is what's for you. It's just not for me anymore. And I am not saying that I don't believe in God. I am just saying perhaps God isn't the only one out there.

So ...to sum up my entry for today....Women do not need a life partner to be worthy in this world, no matter what society/your religion says. A good successful marriage should include a support system from both sides. I do not consider myself a Christian anymore.

back to the cleaning...

~Cissa

I’m young and free, and suddenly it’s spring. ...

Random pictures taken of Yale as I walked around New Haven yesterday afternoon....The weather was fair and warm and I soaked up the vibration of the world being reborn....Yale University campus is truly enchanting in Spring..

Today, as you gaze at the wonders of these historical buildings, imagine the scores of young men and women who have passed through archways, looked out of windows and were awed at the beauty of architecture. Eager to learn and then bring to the world their thoughts and ideas of idealistic thinking that only can come about from being young and free....

I am finally ready to clean the kids room...enjoy and I will post pictures from that Tomorrow...

~Cissa

It was ladies night, oh what a night!

I promised pictures, and after being chastized by Nessa, here they are.....

I am in my bath towel as I type having just taken a ridiculously long shower....Mr. Fabulous can day dream on that all day while I post pictures from Sub Ball...

Me with pin curls - front view

Top view

Back View


With the 'do rag on and a 2nd glass of wine...

Me after taking the pin curls out, before the brushing commenced


Mid Brushing.....


Finished Product-- Me right before we left


The Ladies and I at the ball...


Our Centerpiece
(we were the only ones who brought one -- apparently this base doens't do the centerpiece competition anymore)


Me, full picture


A really good picture of Brandi I had to put in because of the "Window Incident"
which I will explain later....


A really good picture of Erin too....

And that's it folks! HAPPY NOW NESSA???

(New) London calling to the faraway towns...

A mere 3 hours after my last post I was stuck in what I like to call "my worst nightmare"

Traffic. Due to an accident.

I wasn't in a hurry, but I was tired, Angie was tired, and we just wanted to go home and relax. Misk had called only a few minutes earlier because we were running a half hour later than I told him I would be home, and I waived off his "wondering" with a sigh:

"We're almost to the bridge dear, we'll be home in 10 minutes..."

2 minutes later, we were not moving.

We could see the news helicopter in the air, so we knew something was happening. Hell traffic on I-95 was stopped dead, and it was obvious it was right smack ont he Gold Start Bridge. That crosses the Thames River. Which litterally leads to my neighborhood. The traffic, which happened to fall in the midst of Rush Hour. Yep, it was 5 o'clock. traffic ended up being backed up for miles....

After waiting for a bout 20 minutes, Angie figured out that we could make the alternate route to the "Mohegan Bridge" and down rt 12. yes it would take a little while longer, but it was better than sitting in non-moving traffic, especially on a day when the weather was warm and we had a tractor trailer exhaust right next to us and we could not roll the windows down, for the fear we'd die from the diesel exhaust *sigh*

Apparently we were not the only people who had the idea to take the alternate route, and of course, even the alternate route was slow. Had we waited an extra 15 minutes, we would have been able to make it over the Gold Star Bridge and home a lot sooner, I think. But we didn't know what was happening or how long, so at the time, taking the alternate route was a good idea, I think.

So I didn't get home til nearly 6 pm. Do you think I was about to clean? Hell NO!

Misk and I went out to dinner, walked around Wal-mart then went home and hung out.

The cleaning was defaulted to today. Which obviously I have not started on yet. Because I am here, talking to all you people...Or tying rather...

Oh and did I mention it is Military Pay Day? Yep, I gots errands to run. Before work at 4 PM.

Damn, it's never gonna get cleaned, is it?

*sigh*

~Cissa

When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...

Greetings once more from New Haven! For the second time in a month I am at Big Book Store on the WiFi (note: not FREE WiFi), and decided to toss out a little howdy do to you all.

If any of you listened to Mr. Fab's radio show last night you will see that I made a phone call to Fabby, and of course Robin. Thanks to my general complains about his scheduling conflicts, Yours Truly will be the guess on Mr. Fab's show on May 4th!

Don't worry. I will make sure to link to the show lots of times that week. You will have to register with Blog Talk Radio in order to chat while you listen. I also chatted during Turnbaby's show. It took me a while to figure it all out (sometimes technology eludes my mind) but it was really fun. Thanks to The Absurdist for helping me figure out my techno problems!

Alas I had to leave at 9 pm, as I was getting up this morning at O-Dark-Hundred for Angie to pick me up and head to Yale Country. Except, at the University of New Haven....on the other side of town...

Speaking of Yale, last Wednesday I was there with my good friend Tink (link on right, although she hasn't updated in ages, the punk), who just happens to work there. Has anyone ever been there? It was such a surreal experience! The buildings are flippin' GORGEOUS! I felt like I was walking in the middle of a movie set or something. It's EXACTLY how an Ivy league school should look. I am going to take pictures this Wednesday when I go back.

Now, I know I promised you all pictures of the Sub Ball by today, but the ole laptop does not have a card reader and I was simply too busy getting it on with Misk last night to add the pictures. So I am sorry but you all will have to wait another day to see me in all my poodle-haired glory.

So today I sit here, enjoying my Mocha Lite Frappuccino and surfing...at least til I get bored with the internet in this craptastically glaring window seat (the only spot that had access to the LONE PLUG in this place for the laptop). Then it's off to the crafting store to find things for a specific personal project I am working on (sorry I can't talk about everything in my personal life, as much as you folks crave it :P...and NO it's nothing perverse or sexual, those of you who would think in that way)

Then I head home and begin the pinnacle of The Kids Are Gone Week -- Cleaning the kids' room. I've got large black outdoor garbage bags, and I am NOT afraid to use them! I am taking bets on how many it will take to finish. I say 3 bags. Any takers? The winner(s) will get something...I dunno what...oh I know! An entire week of blogs on the topic(s) of your choice, no holds barred...I will talk about whatever you people ask, no matter how personal, how disgusting or kinky (hey I KNOW Mr. Fab would LOVE to win and come up with some whopper topics for me). Multiple winners will have to split the week amongst themselves.

If I win, all who placed a bet MUST one day next week, mention my blog (with a link), and give a paragraph talking about how wonderful I am. (Can you tell I need the ego boost? LOL) I'll announce the winners & losers on Friday, as I predict it will take me at least 3 days to clean their room (yes it is THAT BAD).

Well I am off.....take care all.....and wish me luck witht he cleaning this afternoon!

~Cissa

Bliss

No Kids, Sub Ball done, house is quiet, even if Misk is in the next room sleeping...

I REALLY wish I didn't have to work this weekend.

Oh well at least I can enjoy tonight.

Yay! Sex with Misk! With no kids in the house!

I fully expect the cops to show up from all the screaming...heh...

.........................anyway...........................

Pictures from the Ball and stuff to follow sometime in the next 48 hours.

A remedy for all your ills at the Lost & Found....

I cannot find my ditty bag.

I have been tearing this house apart trying to find it.

Oh yeah, ditty bag...that's military for "Toiletries Bag".

I had this really nice one that came with a luggage set that I got when I went to Florida back in October. It hangs on a self contained hook and has organize nooks and crannies, etc. It's really cute. Last I saw it was back in December when I spent the night at Nessa's. But it's gone now, and I am freaking out.

It has stuff I left in it, you see. Things that I specially selected for my anal retentive self for trips overnight. I have this huge fear of running out of something I will need on a trip, even an over night one. Granted, Nessa live litterally, right down the street from a CVS and Wal-greens and a Wal-mart even. Hell i bet she even has stuff of her own I can use!

But I am still freaking out.

Come to think of it...I haven't seen that little gym bag it came with either....last I saw that I was with Nicky...hmmm...maybe it's in the garage...

But I am entirely too tired to look for it now. I would have to go downstairs to the garage. At night. With bad lighting...into a garage filled with total CRAP...yeah..so I am thinking I will wait until tomorrow when it's daylight. I will save the risk of falling and breaking my neck. Plus I might actually find it tomorrow.

If it's not in there, there's only one other place it could be -- in Maine with my mother. I truly hope it isn't. I mean not that I mind really, but if she did borrow it, some warning might have been nice so that I did not freak out like I am now...and could have at least emptied it before she took it.

I guess I will just wait and see.

In the mean time, I must stop with the packing and get some sleep.

I bet that Diet Coke I just drank while I freaked out isn't going to help that. Damn...

Have a great rest of your week, folks.

~Cissa

Man! I feel like a woman...

This is how I spent my Morning....



Ooooh, Pretty nails....i got my feet done too, total pedicure, but those pictures came out lousy...

Ahhh...SPRING is in the Air!

I have laundry and packing for the kids to do, and myself, since I will not be going back home after my jaunt to RI & The Vineyard on Thursday/Friday. Going straight to Brandi's to get ready....Misk is probably so friggin' psyched...me and no kids for like 2 days.....

I promise to post pictures on Monday...

Speaking of Monday, mine was fabulous! I did a whole lot of nothing. I even went to a friends and played Wii Bowling. Have I mentioned yet how much I love Wii? I totally want one. Seriously. It is so flippin' fun!

Anyway, as I have much to do, and emails still to answer, due to my lack of being here this morning, I must be off...I hope everyone is having a great week so far!

~Cissa

For Nessa

I miss you...

Oh, by the way...

I will be at your house on Thursday night!

call me Woman!!

We need to watch Our Movie.....


see more crazy cat pics

I go crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby...

**WARNING: Tons of swearing today....my apologies to Dr. John**

Yeah, so uh....yeah.

You know when you have one of those weeks that you just wish you could "do over"?

This was one of them.

Kaity has bronchitis. Yep, Mother of the year, I am not. I passed BRONCHITIS onto my poor kid. I am just waiting for the fucking call from DCF.

Misk started his new job at SubSchool. He pretty much hates it. And the office he's in is FIRM on him not leaving a fucking SECOND before 4:00 pm. Did I mention that I have to BE AT MY JOB at 4:00 pm? yeah...my boss is really not happy. Oh fucking well. Let him fire me, then.

I went to New Haven this week for my Dnetal Hygene Clinic Patient-being for Angie, and because of some scheduling issues (Kaity was sick and I volunteered to cover Wednesday night shift at the reatuarant for a sick co-worker), ended up driving in Misk's truck. SUV. Whatever. I call it the Piece of Shit. I feared for my life, lemme tell you. This was promptly followed by me informing Misk that he has until next Tuesday to suck up his foot pain and start driving his truck again.

I REFUSE to drive to Woods Hole next week WITH THE KIDS in that Piece of Shit.

And yet another reason why I do not want to go all that way in Misk's truck:

My friend was in a car accident with her kids. IN AN SUV.

Her daughter is Kaity's classmate. We've done play dates together. I have done my share of crying and praying since I found out. God, Goddess, Buddah, Allah, all of them, I am not going to discriminate. If ANY deity can help my friend and her kids, I'll take it.

Let's see what else? Oh yes! Finally some good news on the Fireheart Front: I got my first donor to my Great Strides campaign! THANK YOU LIZA!! I know for you it was a little more personal, but I do appreciate it. If you want your "award" please let me know!

I also got a request for a smaller button. Apparently this button does NOT want to be resized, and looks like crap, but...here it is....along with the original button, for those of you who would be wonderful and put this on your blog to help me raise money for Finnegan....

Help Cissa Help Finnegan!

<a href="http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/HeatherHughes" target="_blank"><img src="http://i32.tinypic.com/28hg96t.gif" alt="Help Cissa Help Finnegan!" border="0" /><br />Help Cissa Help Finnegan!</a>



Help Cissa Help Finnegan!

<a href="http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/HeatherHughes" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.tinypic.com/1z38483.gif" alt="Help Cissa Help Finnegan!" border="0" /><br />Help Cissa Help Finnegan!</a>

Again I will say, if you would like to help me out, just click on the button to the right, make a small donation...$5, $10, if that's all you can spare. Help my Friend's son by helping to fund finding a cure! Thank You!

I have noticed so much entertainment news this week as well. Most importantly was New Kids on the Block "officially" announcing a reunion !! *SQUEE* I DVR'd it, so I can watch over and over. Misk just rolled his eyes when he heard. I am a child of the 80's. I really loved them. I even went to a concert of theirs once. I have fond memories of hearing a rumor they were coming to the Vineyard one summer, and Janey and I stood at the Oak Bluffs terminal ALL DAY, hoping and praying to catch a glimpse of them. Oh yeah, I was obsessed.

So I cannot wait for May. They will perform for the first time in like 14 years or something. I think they broke up in '94. I can't wait to hear what they've got now, with boy bands having come the way they have since then. It will be interesting, no doubt.

So there you have it folks, Cissa's week in a nutshell. Today is Friday. Tonight is Girls' Night Out. THANK GOODNESS! I know that at LEAST Nicky and I need to get together with our friends and regroup. I am sure that the rest of the Gals will need it too. When it rains, it fucking pours for us Navy Wives. Call me a psychic. April Fools Day really fucked with our systems. I really think tea and cake are in order tonight. Lots of cake, in fact. Those poor waiters at the restaurant don't know what's coming! LOL

Well I must go for now. Time to get the Piece of Shit Truck to the Oil Change Place. And get it inspected. And go buy a corset to wear to the ball next week. Yeah, I am fat and have a pooch. It needs to be hidden. For one night anyway.

I will try to blog tomorrow before or after work. No promises, cause there's no telling what will happen between now and then with the way my week's been going!

Have a FABULOUS weekend, folks!

~Cissa

No knows what it's like to be me....

Can't talk, must clean. Must pack, must work, must unload groceries and care for sick Kaity...

no time no time.

I've already had one breakdown today, i feel another coming up because I sat down for 10 min break.

more tomorrow -- sorry folks

~Cissa

Won't you please, please, help me?

Ok, so, You all know the power of Bloggers. I have seen it in many ways.

I have seen people send Hilly to Philly.

I have seen and myself donated to causes for Magazine Man, and his family.

I have seen Mr. Fabulous help babies through March of Dimes.

I have seen some of you help me out last year. And again, I ask for your help.

An old friend of mine from high school has a 4 year old son. His name is Finnegan.



Finnegan has Cystic Fibrosis. He's had it his whole life. He has spent the last 7 weeks in the Hasbro Children's Hospital in Providence due to this disease. Every day, through exhaustion, fear and hope, his parents, Patrick and Kerry send their friends an email update.

Every Year the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation has fund raising walks called "Great Strides" across America. usually these walks happen in April and May around the country. the Providence RI Great Strides will be on May 10th. I will once again join Finnz Friendz and walk to raise money for this great little boy. This is where I need all of your help.

here's a button:

Help Cissa Help Finnegan!

Please, please please, click on it and consider making a donation to help with Cystic Fibrosis research. All the info about CF is on the page from the link.

Now...I have another favor to ask....this goes out to you people who I know like to help people. I would LOVE to be able to see this link all over the net. If you have a blog that you would not mind putting a link/button on for this cause, PLEASE copy and paste this link stuff into your blog somewhere:


<a href="http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/HeatherHughes" target="_blank"><img src="http://i25.tinypic.com/1z38483.gif" alt="Help Cissa Help Finnegan!" border="0" /><br />Help Cissa Help Finnegan!</a>

Some of you have HUGE readerships, and though I am rebuilding mine, I know it is considerably less than other blogs I myself visit. Your blogs reach more people. People who may be willing to donate $5 to help Finnegan and ALL people affected by CF. If I can help by someone donating even that much times 10? that's 1/3rd of my goal. And if I can surpass my goal, that makes me happy, because I know I will have helped to save my friend's child's life.

This is a great cause. I only ask this one thing from my fellow bloggers and readers of this blog. please help me help out someone else.

Thanks in advance if you donate or put a button on your page. And PLEASE let me know if you do put a link on your blog! I am working on making a little "award" to post if you donate/put up a button. Thanks again!

~Cissa

A bottle of red, a bottle of white....

OK, I officially love my friends....like seriously, I have AWESOME fucking friends.

Sorry Dr. John. There may be a lot of swearing today.

Last night I got pretty drunk with a bunch of my girlfriends at the Dress Party. We tried on dresses, we killed 6 bottles of wine and another half a box of wine. We ate a lot of food. we laughed A LOT

We talked about our husbands, fucked-up family members, crazy sex stories, hell, EVERYTHING.

At one point, I called Misk to tell him I might not make it home, since we all had had so much to drink, including the woman who drove me! Brandi fielded that call, and needless to say, I think Misk was glad he was not there. We all were laughing so much, tears sprung from eyes in varying amounts. I can only imagine what he imagines went on there last night.

I have decided a few things:

1. I am going to make an effort to hang with my friends more (well I already am, just...more than at a restaurant once a week)

2. I am definitely going to have to kick Misk out of the house with the kids one night and have the girls here. (maybe once Misk goes back to a boat and is on deployment, he read over my should and was none too pleased at the prospect.)

3. I am going to appreciate the fact that my husband IS HOME and not on deployment. I think I take it for granted, and I shouldn't. I love him and am blessed that he is around.

4. I am going to call my other friends, the ones I don't see cause they live in other states, more often.

I must get ready for work. I really don't want to work. I am not hung over (lots of water is key, see folks), but today is a day I wish I could just hang out with my husband and kids. I miss that. I like the money I sometimes make (but not yesterday, I made shit for tips), but most days all the effort I put in is not worth the money I make.

I'll write more in between cleaning stuff tomorrow. Enjoy your Sunday.

YAY TOMORROW IS MONDAY!

~Cissa

Here comes the Sun, and I say, it's alright....

We are at Day 2 of Non-Motherage. It's just getting better. I made the kids clean up after their "slumber party" in the living room, where Mom usually sleeps. They are like....doing stuff for me. It's great.

Mum (Step-mother) called this morning to talk School vacation in a couple weeks...wanting to be Camp Director and know what's going on with us and when we are dropping off the kids, etc.

We talked for quite a while. It was nice. I walked around the house and chatted like I like to do. haven't done that for quite a while.

Last night I had a blast with my friends. Margaritas and the like are awesome.

I have to get ready for work right now, but I will be back to blog later ...maybe.

Tonight is the Dress Party. We're all bringing dresses to try on, let others borrow, etc. It will a good time I think! That's at 6. More drinking for Cissa...I love that Sundays I don't have work til Noon!

So, I will try to blog quick about something a little more ....deep, more thought provoking before the Dress Party...but if not, there's always tomorrow...

Enjoy Your Saturday!

~Cissa

Freedom - You've got to give for what you take!

I must post this, because, quite honestly, I have been singing this all morning...THANK YOU TURNBABY!!



Today begins three weeks of uninterrupted freedom for my family.

My mother is, as I type this, heading on a Greyhound Bus to Maine. Her "friend's" home is about 15 minutes from the Canada Border. Oh yeah.

She'll get there tonight about 5:30 PM.

As soon as we got back from dropping her off in New London, the first thing I did?

STARTED CLEANING!!

I have 3 loads of laundry lined up and the laundry, downstairs bath and main floors will all be cleaned. The children have strict orders to begin cleaning their room after they have their banana bread.

In my children's defense, they did a good deed. Last night, Kaity gave Mom a stuffed kitty "so she would have something to sleep with and won't be lonely" in her exact words....

Emily drew her a lovely picture that said good bye and "I will miss you". My mom was very pleased, and she left thinking my kids are sweet. Which will be good because lord knows what she tells my family about the kids. anyway.

My Independence Day is today....until Mid April. I will get to be Mistress of Fireheart Manor.

Did I mention I am going for Margaritas tonight to celebrate? Hell Yeah!

Too bad I have to work tomorrow. I could sleep the hangover off...instead I will be cleaning, serving annoying people and loud children for meager pay and a Boss who treats me like I am stupid because my hair is blonde. Oh yeah and has no respect for me as a wife or mother. The only good thing about the job is it gets me a break from the kids and Mom. And the tips, which are finally picking up again, thank god. The last 2 months really was not work all the effort I was putting in and only coming home with $20-30 a shift.

I still can't wait til I don't have to work there anymore though. If all goes well, I may be able to quit before the kids are out of school.

Lots of celebrating in Fireheart Manor tonight!

Hope Everyone's Friday is as wonderful as mine!!

~Cissa

Gonna teach you the art of making sense....

I apologize in advance if I make no sense. I am sleep-deprived and am battling a migraine....

Mom has her bus ticket. She leaves tomorrow at 8:30 AM for 3 glorious weeks.

I can't wait to clean the house some more. It will look and smell so good when I am done with it. And she can't mess it up cause she won't be here. And it will be maintained because I actually care, and won't have her lurking over me watching me as I clean so I will want to actually go into my downstairs more.

I can't wait 'til the kids go to The Vineyard with my Dad and Mum (not Mom, who will be in Maine, but my Step-Mother, the one who did a better job at raising me on summer vacations and every other holiday throughout my life...)

I will have time alone with Misk...Misk = Hubby.

I feel bad calling him Hubby. It's so...insincere, so impersonalized. Like his only recognition is that he's my husband and nothing else about him in this world matters. Which is totally not true; He's a person too. So, since I use my EverQuest II name for a "nome de plume", he will be called by his EQ2 name - Misk. Now he's a person in his own merit. Yay.

So anyway...Misk and Cissa Fireheart will get 7 days alone in their own house, to do whatever, wherever, whenever we want.

How bloody awesome is that???

We'll probably spend all our time playing EQ2...sad but true...

My dress for the Sub Ball came yesterday. it looks friggin' AWESOME on me! All I need is a good corset, and possibly a underskirt....possibly....for the poofy effect....anyway...

I will post pictures of course....eventually.

Tomorrow is Girls' Night Out with my friends. we are going to a great Mexican restaurant in Mystic. I can't wait. I am totally drinking margaritas in celebration of Mom being gone....

for now, it is nap time until I go get Kaity.

I have work tonight and I don't wanna. As soon as I know for sure Mom is leaving permanently for Maine, I am giving my 2 weeks notice. Then I won't have to work anymore. At least not for the summer. If Kaity gets into all day Kindergarten next year, I will get a full time job and send them both to after school care though the Navy...but I am getting WAY ahead of myself.

See how my brain works when I am tired? I really need to nap...

Tomorrow I will make more sense....maybe.

~Cissa

And I feel like I've gotta travel on....

Greetings from New Haven!

I am currently on my laptop at a Big Book Store in New Haven, CT.

I was up at 4:45 am to be picked up for 5 am so Ang could take me to the University of New Haven Dental School.

She's working on becoming a dental Hygienist, and I am her patient for the next 6 weeks. Hey, it's free dental care and helping out a friend, so i really don't mind. it just sucks that for the enxt oh 2 hours or so I will be stuck here at this place. Don't get me wrong, it could be worse. A lot worse. And these Wednesdays will give me a chance to have some time to myself and catch up on my reading.

I just hate having to pay for WiFi. I'm cheap. I fully believe that if I pay nearly $5.00 for a coffee, the friggin' internet should be free! but call me progressive, I think airwaves should be free....

So, today not a lot happened at the Dental Clinic. we reviewed my medical and dental history and she took my vitals. Then her teacher type person came and went over it again with me. Then it was time to go....yep, next week I get a head massage and learn how to brush and floss my teeth properly, I think. Then the following week I actually get the tooth cleaning started.

Ang did really well, she was very professional, and her instructor was funny. Plus, I get to hang out her and read and surf the net. I could check my email, but I am getting tired, so I am debating closing shop and just reading or perusing the shelves of Big Book Store.

I'll write tomorrow again....thanks to all who have stopped by here!

~Cissa

But I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For...

I am back into blogging. And wow, you know, since I have taken a bit of a hiatus, I have realized there are some crazy new fangled things out there.

Dr. John is putting video ON HIS SITE of his church's choir.

Mr. Fabulous is doing pod casts, which a bunch of cool people I have just discovered.

People are actually sending money or posting a link like this:

Click to help a GREAT Woman to go to TequilaCon when she can't normally afford it. How awesome is that?

(that's an entry for $50 gift card for something...I LIKE GIFT CARDS!! See Miss Brit and Avitable?? I put up a link!!)

I need to get back in the game.

OH NO...RANDOM HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL MOMENT!!

"Gotta gotta gotta gitcha head in the game..."

Holy God, that was random....

I noticed, back a while back when Ugly Betty was playing New Episodes, and the 2nd season was fresh with possibilities and great plot lines, that the episode where it's revealed Daniel doesn't need a wheelchair because he's up and playing basketball...they actually USED that song in the montage of basketball playing....I nearly spit out my tea. I had a coughing fit instead trying NOT to spit out the tea. It was rather painful....

I wonder how many other mommies realized that they were poisoned with the "I-know-my-kids-crappy-music Syndrome"

This isn't supposed to happen yet. I STILL HAVE 3 YEARS PEOPLE!!! SHE'S ONLY 7!!!

ok, back to random musings...

So, where were we? Oh yeah, Blogging. So people are doing pod casts, cleavage guessing games for prizes, um, creating Churches for Blogging (I've put in my application, if I get accepted, look for a new link heheh)

I really want to get into this podcast thing. it seems like fun. There's this thing called Internet Radio. People can create their own little radio stations to listen to on WinAmp or Media player....I used to DJ on one of those a few years back. I miss it. Maybe I will look into starting it up again once my Mother moves out....She leaves in ....3 days for 3 weeks!! Glory Hallelujah!!

Anyway, so...if anyone out there, like oh I dunno, Mr. Fab, Avitable, Hilly, Metalmom, Turnbaby....any of you folks...that happen to have a Monday or Wednesday or even Saturday early evening show, and need a guest? email me...seriously...It sounds like a fun thing to do....and I wanna do it...and believe me, I have no fear of public speaking...especially since NO ONE CAN SEE ME! haha...

anyway....

Hrm what other random stuff can I blog about? Oh I know.

Hubby went back to work yesterday, right? Wanna hear some ironic crap? He's working at Squadron Medical! HAHA!! the same guys that pulled him off The Boat, will be training him to work with other people pulled off boats...for at least 2 months...how's that for funny? He's gonna learn how to take vitals and keep records....maybe if he likes it enough,when he gets out, he can go to school to be a medical assistant! LOL yeah right....a girl can dream..

He can't use the excuse that he doesn't know how to check the girl's temperatures anymore.

I need to -- you guessed it-- clean. I actually took all of yesterday off and played EverQuest II like I said I would. then I made dinner. Homemade Fettuccine Alfredo! it was dang good. mmm.....Hubby was happy, and we had a Family Dinner...it was nice. I like my family. Mostly.

OK, back to the grind. Go visit links people! That is All....

And no one dared disturb the Sounds of Silence

Today is a good day for me. It's my favorite day of the week. It's Monday!

Now, I know a lot of you are saying to the computer screen "But Cissa, surely you must be smoking crack again! How could ANYONE possibly like MONDAY???"

Well my friends, because of the peace and quiet.

Hubby checked back in from med leave.

The kids are at school.

I am not working, cooking, or dealing with squabbling children while I attempt to relax. I can just....be Cissa for a few moments without interruption. It's bloody brilliant.

The only other person in this house is busy watching Jerry Springer downstairs at a low level...only the humming of the computers is here to lull me into a relaxed daze that I will enjoy for the next 2.5 hours.

I am a happy happy woman.

Because it is Monday!

So, before I go onto anything of real importance, I want to say thanks to those of you who either e-mailed me privately or posted a comment on the blog about yesterday's post....so, yeah, I get kinda glum. But today is another day, and I am feeling better.

Plus, it's Monday!

So over the last week, I cleaned my downstairs. I mean SPRING CLEANED...

You know those big black bags people get for yard trash or at Christmas when they know there will be a lot of trash? Yeah, my tiny, 6 X 10 closet downstairs filled TWO of them. My kitchen? one whole big bag. it was crazy. I didn't realize how bad the downstairs needed to be cleaned until I started to do it.

Plus I got new cookware. My $20 set that I bought when Hubby and I first lived in sin (before we got married 2 months later) finally crapped out on me. Took it 10 years, but the Teflon was flaking off into the food; Time to replace! I spent $40 this time, and fully expect this stuff to last me a good 15-20 years! LOL

So, I swept, got on hands and knees and ammonia scrubbed the floors, replaced the icky off-white, stained and stuff rug and got a smaller more colorful, new one. Vaccuummed furniture, dusted, moved stuff around, added the spare comp downstairs for Emily....man I cleaned all bloody week....and Finally, finally on Friday it was done....well...the downstairs was...

Today, I move upstairs. Today, I am attacking the office and bathrooms. I fully expect to fill another huge trash bag. Go Cissa. How exciting to read about, eh? Anyway...

I learned something this week. Don't have a wireless mouse and wireless keyboard from the same company on two separate computers. you will think you have a virus and wonder why your computer is typing things when you aren't even close to typing, or typing what's coming up on your screen. We figured it out, eventually...but not before getting a great deal on a Logitech G15 gaming keyboard because we thought the keyboard needed to be replaced. This is the effing coolest board, ever. I love it... Seriously, check it out ...How cool is that??

Maybe I won't clean today....I mean, really, I deserve a break after cleaning all last week and making an Easter dinner , right?

EverQuest II has been neglected...He needs love....I think I will go give him some!

Enjoy your week! I think I may get into regular posting again....I may be back before Sunday!!

~Cissa

He Is Risen...

A Happy Easter to you all.

Today is normally a joyous day for everyone. Easter Bunnies, rejoicing in Jesus' Sacrifice and Resurrection (if you are a Christian), big family dinners, etc.

I'm not such a fan.

Sure, I enjoyed having the Easter Bunny's Helper last night and giggled as Emily and I laid out eggs in the back yard. I watched with a bit of glee as he girls scrambled to find eggs, and felt pride as Emily pointed out a few for her little sister to find, and didn't hog all the eggs.

But that's about where it ends.

I know I had a link with Mae's Story on my previous layout, and I will have it back up soon. but for now, it's not up. So I will summarize.

My firstborn, Ruth Mae, was born and died on Easter. Even though it's a different date every year, the fact of the matter is, that holiday she died. So for me, this is a bittersweet holiday. I'm just a bit quieter today. I looked at the date and realized there is exactly one month until her birth/deathday. April will be here next week. I am not looking forward to it...

So if you celebrate today, please embrace it.

Enjoy your candy, singing, ham dinner, and family. I will enjoy it, if only with slightly less enthusiasm of other holidays. But I have enjoyed my children this morning, and I thank my lucky stars that I have them in my life.

See you all next week,

~Cissa

Get up, come on get down with the sickness ....

So about 8 hours after my last post, I fell ill. Quite suddenly actually, while I was at work. I felt faint and kinda spacey, very tired; I had an ache all over my body and I equated it to being hit with a Mack truck ...or maybe a Peterbilt...anyway, I somehow made it through the rest of my workday and when I got home, I took my temperature...102! So I took some Nyquil and called it a night...but not before getting the chills and then sweats in a semi-rapid succession....

Next morning is when the coughing started. I figured it was from my Nyquil-induced sleep, where I sleep lightly, but with my mouth open, or so Hubby says. No, it simply progressed worse and worse throughout the day. By Tuesday, it was so bad, and after a 2nd night of not sleeping so great, at Hubby's suggestion, I broke down and called the Med Clinic for an appt.

Some other non-significant stuff happened through the day and I continued to suffer until my appointment. The doctor diagnosed what I had suspected, having had it more times than I can count: Bronchitis. I know I have documented having Bronchitis on this blog at least once before, if not twice....I will have to look up and find out when....anyway, I was given some antibiotics and Robitussin with Codeine. I thought "Wow, I must be bad if the Doc wants to knock me out!"

I took the antibiotic and felt good enough that evening to go to an event with my ex-boat wives. It probably was a bad idea, but I felt a lot better from one dose. That night I got home, took the Robi w/ Codeine and was ready for uninterrupted blissful night of good old-fashioned healing....which did NOT happen. Apparently, my body has some sort of ironic disorder, where the effects of Codeine are opposite. Instead of sleeping all night, I was awake, fitful, tossing and turning. Add on a Bronchial Cough, and you can understand the hell I was in. The next night, I tried again, not getting to sleep until nearly 4 am, thus confirming my suspicions: Coedine wakes me up, instead of putting me to sleep like normal people.

Well it's Sunday and I feel almost 100%. I still have an occasional cough, but nothing that is so detrimental I cannot function. I even went to work yesterday and will go again in 2 hours. I must be better. Although truth be told, I took my 1st sick day in 7 months on Thursday and with great pride pointed that out to my boss yesterday morning.

So I am better. But it's been one HELL of a week. I hope you all have had a better days out there!

I am going to try and change my background now...wish me luck! See you all next week...

~Cissa

Happy Birthday Emily Jane

Today my oldest living daughter, Emily, is 7 years old. I feel particularly nostalgic on the kids' birthdays, because I have fond memories of their births and being babies.

The party was fun, but insane. It was raining torrential downpours in CT yesterday, and so EVERYONE in the greater New London area felt it was important to bring their child to Chuck E. Cheese's. So yeah, lots of kids, lots of noise...but really, not so much stress for me. My main concern was how many kids showed up, which was less than I was expecting. But Emily was happy with who showed up and so , if she's content, I needed to be, so I was.

Nessa and Dave surprised Em by coming to the party from RI, and Miss Nicky also came and the both Ladies brought SUPER NICE gifts for Em. Artsy and Hannah Montana...Emily was in heaven!

Well I must be off. I have work and as I type Emily is talking to my parents and she is closing her conversation. Hope you all have a good week.

~Cissa

p.s. Glad to have you back blogging Mimi! We missed you! :)

Life has been patiently waiting for me.....

This week has been interesting. I am adjusting to Hubby being home all the time once more, and though I am learning that I CAN leave the house and live my life, see my friends and still be a good wife, there are times I wish I could take him with me, because he needs to get out too. But I feel confident and less guilty, and so, less inclined to be a hermit like Hubby, unlike the last two times he's had surgery. It's rather liberating to know I can live how I want, and not feel guilty for my life obligations. I think Hubby can tell the difference too. We had a long talk about how he doesn't want me to feel bad, he knows I am one who likes to get out. It's nice to know he doesn't resent me wanting to get out once in a while. It makes me feel more confident about it.

Mom News: A few weeks back, I was informed of a message on Craigslist for someone looking for my mother. I contacted the person, and we began correspondence. He is an old boyfriend of hers (before she met my father), and, apparently he even met me when I was a baby and sent the pictures to prove it. IMO, he still smitten with her. It's very sweet, and he's a very endearing person. I gave Mom his email and they have been emailing each other now several times every day, and he's invited her up to stay with him in Maine for a couple weeks at the end of this month. I have convinced her to go. My step-dad would have been happy to see her move on with a man who is so dedicated to her as he was. Moreover, she may be moving up there with him. This is good for both her and I. She'll move on with her life, she'll move out, and I am hoping will be happy. And I will have my house, privacy and family happiness back. There will be no hard feelings, no grudges, and no guilt....I like that.

Emily turns 7 a week from today. Her party is on Saturday, and it's strange to think that she is already 7. Her party is a Chuck E. Cheese's, and that means little to no work for me. It'll be expensive as hell, but no more so than if I hired a clown or magician or whatever. Plus I won't have to clean up afterwards, make goody bags, cook or clean. I know the kids will enjoy it immensely, and even Hubby said "yay! I can play video games and eat pizza!" LOL

Hubby and I started cleaning this week. Spring Cleaning. We cleaned the office, or started it rather, and I am about 1/2 done. I still need to take apart the computer, set up the new desk and hutch and organize/clean out the book cases. But that's what the school week is for. My next project? The linen and "big" closets. Just in the office we had 4 trash bags full of trash. scary, eh?

I am reserving the real cleaning of the downstairs until my mother goes on her trip to Maine. I won't have her hovering over me, watching me like a television show, and I can express my frustration without upsetting her. And I can throw out that effing rug in the LR that I refuse to deep clean again because I know that it's pointless being a light beige rug in my house. I am going to ditch it until she is moved out, and her furniture is out, then get a different rug, once my furniture is all back in place.

I am sure all this "news" is terribly boring to you all, but this is what I am. This blog is my outlet. I hope you will keep reading, and maybe once my life and house is less cluttered and more clean I can get back to blogging about interesting topics. Or at least more interesting that talking about cleaning and complaining about my mother.

Have a great week. See you all next Sunday!

~Cissa Fireheart