Are you ready for some football?

Today has been a SUCK-tacular day.

When I woke this morning it was cloudy and obvious it had been raining. I thought to myself, they will cancel the game for sure. Nope, not a chance! So Em and I went to the game. Now granted the rain had lessened to a drizzle, but it was pretty cold still. OK cold we can handle right?

We get to the field, and guess what? It starts RAINING....light at first...then harder...then harder...then of course, it's time for the game. About half the cheerleaders didn't show up in the first place. Those that did were by now soaking wet, shivering, and miserable. I made Emily wear her raincoat over her uniform. And she had a sweater underneath. I didn't care, I wasn't about to let my child get sick because the league made a bad decision to let the game go on.

After about 3 or 4 cheers we coaches decided to let the kids stand under their parent's umbrellas and had a little pow wow. Some of the parents came up and said they were taking their kid home. We couldn't stop them, and honestly, I would have done the same thing. Finally the head coach made up her mind -- we were going home. The poor boys kept on playing.

Today thoroughly frustrated me. The league did not want to cancel because they had already canceled 3 games this season. The problem is that 1 of the 3 they did cancel could have played because they canceled the night before, and the day of, it was gorgeous. Another game day canceled it had rained over night, but it was drying out nicely. What the league was thinking, I can't begin to imagine.

This league, from coaches to structure to parents and players is the most undisciplined, unorganized club I have ever been a part of. The head flag cheer coach and I have tried, unsuccessfully, to procure information, schedules, and rules, only to be denied or given ambivalent answers. We then are cornered by parents who want answers and we have none to give them. It make us look bad, and makes me feel like crap. I have decided next year NOT to be a coach for the flag cheer. I don't have the time or patience for the crap I deal with -- kids who won't practice, parents who don't bring their kids to practice or game on time, and an organization who can't get their shit together.

We have a cheer competition in less than 3 weeks. My age group is going to look like total crap and I will thoroughly be embarrassed to be there. We only JUST got our uniforms given out today because the head of cheerleading failed to order the uniforms on time, since she waited until SEPTEMBER to stop letting people join the league. How the league can do this to the coaches and the girls is beyond me. it's pathetic. And it makes me mad as hell.

I am not sure I will do much more than be a parent next year. Honestly, with my job now, I miss half of practices as it is. Plus, honestly, I'd rather not give myself the stress of trying to wade through the mess that is this league. I simply haven't the patience

What goes around comes back around...

Last night I worked at the bar again, my Sunday night money maker. I spent the majority of the day prior to work working on laundry and watching the pathetic, disgusting Patriots/Dolphins game. I left the house already in a pissy mood.

Apparently that left my customers last night with the assumption that I was fair game to be complete and utter assholes to me and to the other bar patrons.

-- one customer got so drunk that he decided he was going to fight me about his bill. Forget the fact that he bought 2 rounds for the ENTIRE bar, plus shots for himself and a few others. Apparently he thought I was trying to cheat him. I don't think so. I told him if he continued to be belligerent and demeaning I was going to ask him to leave (his ride wasn't there yet, but I didn't give a damn)

-- one guy decided the mens' room wasn't clean enough for him. According to him it was disgusting and smelled bad and there were flies. I had news for him; it's mid-September and there are flies everywhere, even at my house. He decided that he was going to be an ass and complain as loudly as possible. He kept saying the health department would shut us down if they were there. I called my boss (who too his first day off in 3 months) because he was being such an asshole and I was losing my patience. I had the kitchen helper clean the bathroms....again, because they were just cleaned that morning.

-- this jerk wasn't done though, because after Boss Man calmed him down on the phone, he decided to target me directly, making comments about my cleavage, my choice in men (he thought he could and I quote "fuck the hell out of me better" than my husband) and the fact that I was usuing my education to be uppity. Oh yeah, sorry I use big words, loser. He then proceded to try and get sordid details about my private sexual life. I told him in no uncertain terms it was none of his business and if he was going to treat me like trash he could leave. I may be in the service industry, but that doesn't give him the right to treat me like a two-bit whore.

-- THEN this SAME ASSHOLE decided to pick a fight with one of our regular and most laid-back patrons, who he had some sort of beef with. They were yelling in each other's face and I truly thought I was gonna have to call the cops for a bar fight. Thank Goddess that the usually calm guy took the high road, and walked out to cool off. Shortly after the argument "Asshole" left.

-- later on, or maybe while the Asshole was there, some guy and his ex came in. They were there almost all night. By the end of the night, she was getting really pissy, and while the Boss Lady (Boss Man's wife) and I were making out (code word for smoking, fyi) outside, they came out and he asked if either of us had ever met the guy before. I knew I hadn't and made a point to say so, as did Boss Lady. Well the chick went back in, finished her beer and proceeded to make a big stink to the guy as he left. They then started to exchange text messages after she drove away. The guy told me that the chick (his ex) had made up her mind that he was screwing me. I had a good laugh at that, but it pissed me off because 1. I'm married and I KNOW I said that to her several times during the night, and 2. this guy was WAY below my standards and 3. Even if I WAS single, I don't screw patrons because that could end up losing business for the Boss Man and lastly 4. she's not his girlfriend, so what fucking business of hers is it anyway if I WAS screwing him??. At one point after she left she texted him saying that she knew he hadn't left because he could see his truck still. I looked across the street, and sure enough, this bitch was stalking him parked under the light of the church parking lot across the street. I went back inside. I didn't need any more drama.

so yeah....that was my night. I got home about 1:30 and finally to sleep about 2am. I am friggin exhausted and didn't make as much in tips as I would have liked.

I guess last night was my day to deal with the assholes of the world. *le sigh*

Today better be better, because I'm tired and cranky and I deserve a good day after last night!

~Cissa

I will follow you into the dark....- Part 2

....and so the long 10 minute drive began to the Emergency Care clinic near our house. In retrospect, I should have gone to the actual hospital, but honestly, I didn't think I could take an even longer ride.

We got there, and Misk helped me again to walk into the ER. They took me straight into Triage, and took my pulse, temp, and blood pressure. I recall seeing 147 /85. They made me take it again. They wanted me to stand. And the fucking thing just about squeezed my arm to sleep. This time it said 136/78 I dunno if either of those are high, but those were probably the highest BP numbers I have ever been. I usually am somewhere in the 105/70 range. Even 9 months pregnant and in labor, my BP never went over 110/75, but anyway...

The nurse told me she wanted me to go over to the lab for blood and urine, and I looked at her like she had 3 heads. She wanted me to walk somewhere else?? Luckily she got me a wheelchair, and I covered my face, embarrassed, knowing there were other sick people here. The pain was a little less now, still burning, but it was more like.....an ache with a burn, than anything else.

I got blood taken by the most awesome hemo-tech ever. I barely felt the needle go in my arm. Perhaps it was the fact that I had been having unbelievable pain like I never knew before for nearly a half hour prior, but the needle barely registered for me, and I was grateful. I hate needles. However, there was no way I had to pee. I drank 2 cups of water and managed to get a little for the stupid little cup, but it still took a while.

During this time, the pain began to abate in small stages. I wasn't shaking, the burning had definitely decreased, and it was more of the achieness being prominent. I began to apologize over and over to Misk, telling him how I feared this was nothing, and how I had probably over reacted and I was wasting his and Nicky's time. He promptly told me that had I not agreed to go to the hospital, he would have picked me up and carried me to the car, that's how worried he was.

We were sitting in the waiting room for a while, and it was taking forever for them to call me. Misk was complaining about the time, and I looked up, and honestly? We had only been there an hour, this was not bad. I was able to talk somewhat normally, the burning sensation returning from time to time, but not nearly as bad as it had earlier. It was not agonizing, just painful. I got very cold at one point, as the A/C was cranked up and I was in a tank top and thin capris, and Misk went out to the van and got me my fall jacket.

Finally we were called back, and they told me I had to get into a gown. This did not please me at all, but I did it anyway. I think wrapped my coat around my feet, since it was friggin freezing. Another half hour or so of waiting and finally the doctor came in. She asked all these questions, and I answered, explained to her the pain, how I knew it wasn't gas or heartburn, as I had experienced those, it also didn't sear across my whole upper abdomen if I had either of those.

She said it wasn't my appendix or my gall bladder, which was good, because that's what I thought it actually was.

Her conclusion? I had an acid reflux attack. I needed to go on a medication for it, and cut out a lot of my foods such as...soda, caffeine, chocolate, alcohol, fat, acidic foods. This pretty much meant that my Friday nights will be shot, and I will be eating salad, tuna, chicken and certain cereals for the rest of my life. This did not thrill me, but I took the prescription, and went home.

Feeling like a giant idiot. having wasted Misk's and Nicky's time over something so stupid.

To be honest, I was going to take the doctor's diagnosis at face value. After talking to Brandi later that night, I decided that I was going to call my doctor today and get a second opinion, because I am apparently in a window for possible heart issues, and it possible I was having a mild heart attack.

My appointment is at 4:10 pm, and I don't care if I have to take the kids with me, I am going.

Because not being able to have spaghetti sauce, or pasta, or any fried foods at all, ever again? Soooo not gonna work for me. I want a second opinion, damn it. And if the doctor I have had for the last 2 years tells me that that's what it was, I will believe him. And then I will do what is recommended, which will totally alter our whole family's eating lifestyle, and I will be damned if I will do that on just one person's say.

4:10 isn't coming fast enough...

And I am alive. After some schedule changes from Nessa though e-mails on Friday afternoon, we had decided to go to the Sunday show for They Might Be Giants. And the show was awesome. Nessa and I had a blast! So did Zbabygirl, who hadn't been out of the house much since having her baby 3 weeks ago. It was a good night....and I even had 2 glasses of wine...and felt totally fine after!

Thanks to all of you for your concern. I really am fine, as far as I know, so please don't worry, ok? It was nice to see so many of you cared!

~Cissa

I will follow you into the dark....- Part 1

So I know, you guys must think I am just lazy, but I swear on the Goddess and God, that last night, I had every intention of pre-posting Sumptuous Sunday .....until about 5:30 last night, that was the plan...you are warned this might be a little TMI, but hey, that's me.

I was reading Breaking Dawn again, so that I could reevaluate things, as I am prone to do. It was in my bedroom and I was laying sideways facing the lamp on my right side. I started to feel some pain in the muscle right beneath my breasts, usually where the underwire of my bra sometimes digs in. not thinking anything of it, I turned to my back, and the burning began. I tried to ignore it and managed a few more sentences, then decided to sit up and read. The burning pain became worse, searing across my upper abdomen/lower chest. I stood up and staggered into the office across the hall.

I tried to explain to Misk about my pain, but I was becoming short of breath and the pain was increasing, so I stumbled back into my bedroom and tried to move into various positions to make the pain abate. Nothing worked, my pain only increased. It felt like something had exploded in my body. Misk asked if I wanted antacids, I shook my head gasping out that I wasn't able to barely breathe, let alone swallow something. He asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. I shook my head and gasped out "NO! NO DOCTORS!"

Then the pain, which I thought was bad before, decided to explode even more. I collapsed on the floor, writhing in agony, tears came to my eyes, and all I could do was wail and moan in pain. This was it, my final straw.

"OK.... Hospital" I managed out in between shallow breaths. "Nicky....Need to call Nicky....to watch the kids...."

Misk got the phone for me, and I moaned that I could not remember her number. Misk, luckily, is a smart man, and looked through the caller ID until he found it, it dialed. Nicky picked up.

"Nicky! I need your help..." my voice wavered and I gasped again.

"Oh my god, What's the matter??"

"Burning..pain...need hospital...need you...to watch the kids...."

"I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"OK" and I hung up.

At this point I realized I had taken my bra off, probably when I first was feeling pain. I then realized I was not going to the hospitals with my boobs hanging loose. I might have been dying, but I wouldn't show up like some classless white trash, even if it did kill me. I managed to get the bra on and Misk helped me down the stairs, me wailing all the while. As far as memory serves, it reminded me of being in labor, only the pain was too high, and this was a burning explosion....maybe it was my voice the way I was wailing and moaning...it was the only way I could deal with the pain, and convey how much of it I was in.

Misk got me to the car, walking me slowly, my agony even more pronounced when the warmth of the inside of the car hit me. I could barely breath as it was, now he was sticking me in a fucking oven?? If I had been able to, I would have slapped him....instead I begged him to open the windows. I was profusely sweating at this point as well, I could feel my tank top sticking to my back, the dampness of the back of my head as well. Whether from the pain or the heat, I am not sure. But the pain was not going away, and the heat was not helping, that's all I knew.

Nicky showed up right about then. Time still is blurry about that, and Misk told her the kids were out playing, they would be back, etcetera. I glanced in her direction, but wouldn't look at her, I don't even know why, I just knew I couldn't look her in the eye, but the half-second I did, I am pretty sure she saw the pain, terror, and fear in my eyes.

I could only think in abstracts, and one of my dominant thoughts was "I am dying".

Because pain like this only happens when you are dying, right?



And now, because this we seem to be at a good place to stop, I will....obviously am not dead, but I really need to take a break typing and do some cleaning.

~Cissa

Popular, I know about popular. It's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed....

After catching up on some Blog Drama today, that I was blissfully ignorant about, I'm going to target myself. I want the attention. And also? I've got nothing else to blog about.

Yep, I went to BrittCon, and I had a blast. It's a shame more people didn't come, but you know what? We still had fun. And even better? I made some awesome new friends.

Yep, I think Britt, Avitable, Jester, Hilly, Hellohahanarf, Dave2, Karl and a bunch of others are the cat's pajama's...seriously, they are frickin awesome people. Why some low-life, bored, crab-infesterd CUNT (she must be in order to be such pissy person) feels the need to pick on my friends is beyond me.

If you don't like these people, then don't fucking read their blog. Period.

I actually would love for that cunt to make a post about me. What's she gonna say? I'm a bored house-wife? Check....she'll fail to mention I am actively looking for a job on several job websites and sending out about 3 resume's a week (honestly, there's CRAP for my field in a little Navy town). But yes, I am bored...which is why I sometimes blog, and use Twitter, and whatever else.

Maybe she'll say I am a bad wife & parent because I love to go off and meet bloggers and bitch about how much my kids drive me insane. Check. Only she'll leave out the fact that I actually invited my husband to accompany me, and he declined. She'll also not write about how I virtually left the blogosphere for a week to spend on a vacation on Martha's Vineyard for some much enjoyed family time with my kids and how I have so many memories of my kids together I know I shed a tear or two in several moments watching them play and have summer fun.

Oh I know! She'll make some mention of my religious beliefs! Being a Wiccan and all, there's loads of material for her to go off about! I'm a heathen, I'm going to hell, I'm a sinner, blah blah blah...Check. And I bet she'll think I will cower in fear of her awesome Christian-ness? Because you know, having a whole blog slamming people you secretly are jealous of is one way to show what a perfect little follower of Jesus you are...In fact I think she breaks a few commandments herself...Nope, that's The Golden Rule....dang, being a Pagan and all, what the hell do I know? Oh right. I know she'll get her malicious mud-slinging back threefold.

Wait, I've got it! She'll talk about what a fat whore I am, because I am overweight and I participate in Pay Per Post! CHECK AND CHECK. Wow, how original! I'm so upset, honest...I think I might cry. Because isn't it obvious I am totally unaware of how gross I am? I mean how could my husband possibly want to fuck me without being scared of being smothered by my large and natural chest??? Everyday, almost folks...sometimes twice in one day to make up for a missed day. And as for being fat? Why not let me worry about that...since I have shed 8 lbs in the last month, I'm looking a lot better, I think, and that's just the beginning. Just ask Misk, he'll tell you....(and I apologize for the TMI about my sex life, but sometimes, you gotta give TMI for attention, you know?)

Honestly, if this cunt posted about me? It would only bring me traffic. I could use it. I also could use more comments, so maybe some of her troll-friends could stop by and leave comments? I'll even leave them up, I swear! I love it when bullies try to bother me. Really. Just ask my last FRG. I bet they could tell you how I handle bullies. Muahaha....

Anyway, to my friends who have been targeted by this unsavory person? Don't let the crabby cunt get you down! I mean really, if she got you down, she might infest you with her disease. EWWWWW!! And figuratively? She's not worth it. You do have friends, and followers, and stuff. You ARE rock stars. This cunt is just jealous she's not.

Either that or she's fucking brilliant, because she's getting all the attention now.

I wish I could do that -- minus the itchy, festering, infectious vaginal disease, of course.

I'm going to go back to my boring life. It's Washing Wednesday, after all!

I do hope I haven't offended anyone. *snicker* If I have? Oh please, feel free to comment, or make a nasty blog post about it.

~Cissa