Oh, how we danced on the night we were wed, We vowed our true love, though a word wasn't said...

At approximately 2:00PM, Eastern Staandard Time, On Monday, October 12, 1998 I became MRS. Cissa Fireheart (well, ok, maybe that's not my real name but you get the meaning).

It was a cool October day, Columbus Day, to be exact, and although Misk and I were already living together and planning on getting married in June on The Vineyard, where my dad and step-mom got married, we eloped.

There are days that I wish I had put the effort in to save money and actually just have the big wedding. Then there have been days, especially in the last 3 years, being involved with big weddings, that I think Misk and I made the best decisions of our lives, to just...get it done.

We knew in our hearts that we were soul mates. We knew we would be together forever. We just needed to go through the legalities of the paperwork in our opinion. Neither one of us was a very devout person of faith, any faith, at that time, so we had resolved that just getting a justice of the peace to perform was a good idea.

It was. We had a nice day. 7 guests. the "feast" was home made meatball grinders, home made cookies, champagne and a few cases of beer (which coincidentally were mostly what our friends gave us as wedding presents). There was only one family member present; my real mother. In retrospect, I wish I had managed to get my Nana there, as she would be passing from this world not even a year later, but at the time, I didn't want a big fuss. I just wanted to get the marriage done and over with so Misk and I could get on with our lives together.

The last 10 years have been....crazy. 5 years ago, I nearly ended up divorced when Misk was first on Shore Duty, because it was then that married life, I mean what normal married people who see each other everyday (and don't have 6 month deployments, various underways and whatnot) go through. He wasn't sure he could handle being married and being a father. He got scared.....and freaked out, so to speak. But we got through it.

We've buried a child, we've lost loved ones. We gotten through various trips to and visits from our in-laws. We've got 2 beautiful daughters who mean the world to us. We've faced near poverty. A few times, we've not eaten, or taken ice-cold showers in January when we couldn't afford oil, or sat in the darkness of oil lamps and candles when we couldn't pay the electric bill for a week or two. Through it all, we have loved each other and clung onto the belief that we, together, can still love each other and deal with the problems, tragedies, and hardships that life throws at us. Through it all, we still love each other as much, if not more, as the day we were married, on that cloudy October afternoon in 1998.

Yesterday, as part of our Anniversary Celebrating, we headed to The Connecticut Renaissance Faire. Misk even consented to wearing period garb for me. I brought my camera, but did I take pictures? Nope. Well, this year the storyline of King Arthur led to the wedding of Arthur and Guinevere. It was all very sweet. After the wedding, as we left the faire grounds and headed home, I could see the "reception" going on. Arther and Guinevere were dancing. It reminded me of something we did after our wedding, at the justice of the peace's house. I gave a sigh , looked at Misk and said,

"Look babe, it's their first dance, as a married couple!" Misk let out a chuckle, and I knew he remembered what the significance of my words meant. for just about the first month of marriage, anytime we did anything we hadn't done in a while, we'd say "It's our first __________ as a married couple!" We haven't said tha stuff in quite a while, as I am sure you all realize, but in the last 24 hours, we've said it quite a few times.

Just now, as I was typing this up, Misk came over and gave me a kiss and said,

"It's our first 10-year Anniversary as a married couple!"

Indeed it is, My Love.

I Love You....
With All of my heart, and all of my soul,
For all that I am, forever and ever.....AMEN!



Happy 10th Anniversary to Us.


~Cissa

Happy Birthday Kaitlyn Rhea!

Today my youngest daughter, Kaitlyn is 5 years old!

Kaitlyn on the first day of Kindergarten

I can't believe how fast these 5 years have gone. Tonight is her party at Chuck E. Cheese's, and she is super excited. A lot of her classmates and friends from the neighborhood will be coming, and I know she is going to have a blast.

Kaity is my "mini-me". Most of my family and friends agree she looks like me....I don' see it too much myself. However I can tell she's mine by her personality. She's dramatic. She's loud. She can be a total bitch when she's tired and hasn't slept well. All just like her mama.

But she is my snuggle bug. The last couple of days she had bit of a tummy ache. last night she woke up crying with a bad dream and climbed into bed with me and Misk as we watched a movie. She fell asleep all snuggled up to me, her arm draped across my stomach. It was so adorable I wanted to cry.

All in all she is a great kid. I love her and enjoyed taking her class cupcakes for snack time today. She enjoyed asking her classmates what flavor they wanted, and handing them out. Then she made sure to bring her sister one and the school secretary a cupcake too. She's very kind like that. It made me proud to see her today.

Happy Birthday to my Kaity Bug!

~Cissa

We'll sweep this clear in 'alf a year, if you don't mind the work....

Goodness, whre to begin?

Well, it's been one hell of a last few days for me, that is for sure. i suppose this all started on Thursday, when I had a rather melancholy post, mainly whining, and I was hit with a sudden sense of dread and depression. I wasn't sure where it came from, and to be honest, it felt like a blanket of sadness was trying to smother me, quite suddenly...I sent an e-mail to my two closest friends here, Nicky & Brandi, asking them to please let us get together because I felt suddenly very depressed and wasn't sure why and I needed to vent. I talked to them both within the next few minutes between calls and e-mails, and it was decided I would meet them at Nicky's after work that night.

Fast forward about....4 hours, I called Nicky to check in with her, and I was told to go to Brandi's house. She seemed rather short about it and I asked what was wrong. I then found out that Brandi had found out about 2 hours prior that her mother was very ill, we're talking, dying, as in, may not make it through the month. As soon as work was done I raced to Brandi's and found out that her mother was on dialysis for a very rare kidney disease that affects 1 in about 3 billion people. yes I said BILLION...Since her mother is currently residing in NORWAY - like, Oslo, or somewhere abouts -- Brandi was heading to Norway as soon as humanly possible.

Oh yeah, that was a shocker, but also explained to me why the hell my sudden depression hit like a mack truck. Long story short....as a Pagan, when you perform Magick in a ritual or ceremony with, and also happen to be close friends with a person, a strong psychic bond is formed. I happen to be blessed with...foresight....about things from time to time. Ever get that feeling something is going to happen? Very specific, whether good or bad? About someone close to you? Yeah, I get those. Mainly it's about Misk or the kids, and for other people, I just get....a taste of what their emotional state of mind is going to be....I am still learning alot, and since I happen to suffer from depression and acute anxiety, I figured I was feeling this way because of my own life....nope, I was wrong, it was Brandi...freaky, huh?

So, Friday night, to keep Brandi from a meltdown and life as normal as possible for the rest of us, we all went to dinner and saw Sex and the City: the Movie. We laughed, we cried, we were disgusted...it was a good night. Cosmos before and after the movie were of course imbibed, and lots of good conversation was had by all.

The next day Brandi and another friend of ours, Kerri, headed to Norway. Nicky and I have been switching back and forth taking care of their Animals. All told, there are 7 ferrets, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a parrot. It's been Wild Kingdom every other day for me, but fun as all heck. But between work, caring for animals and my family, that's left me little time to blog, so I've been twittering a bunch...(look to the right, under Follow Fireheart...yep, that's twitter)

So, another piece of interesting, and in my opinion, very exciting news, is that my sister Shell, was proposed to by her boyfriend on Friday night! Yes, my little sister is off the market, and marrying a wonderful guy! And guess who is Matron of Honor? Yours truly of course, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I am also happy to take on helping my sister to plan most of the wedding, and have even worked on finding her dress and a reception venue already! I am ON IT, lemme tell you people! I even went out and got a wedding planner book today at Borders! Woot!

So that, is pretty much how my weekend went...it's been crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way...I hope you all are having a good week so far...

And the best news (rumor) I've heard yet today is Hilary Clinton will be dropping from the Presidential race tomorrow, officially! What a great way to end this post!

~Cissa

And I know now how good it can be, because you love me...

It's already Thursday. It hardly seems real. This week has flown by so quickly, and even if I were to attempt to tell you all about it, it would fall woefully short of the impact of positive experiences I have been through. It's been a week that makes me love my life. No matter the hardships I've faced, underneath there is the core of my existence: happiness and love.

Every week, I find myself renewed in my love for my husband. Every week, he'll say something, do something, big or small, that makes my heart swell and I can't fathom that I could possibly love this man more than I did previously. Last night was one of those nights.

It wasn't anything major. We went out to dinner, just us, no kids, then after dinner, walked around Mystic to this little Irish pub and had a pint. What was so great was the conversation. He let me talk about everything and anything, interjecting his thoughts here and there, but mainly just listening. His eyes were intent on me, and I knew he wasn't just hearing...he was listening.

He was encouraging and open to my thoughts and comments. We aren't terribly well off by any means, but when I started to talk about BrittCon and all the folks that I am excited to meet and run around NYC with, he got it. He knew and let me know that I'm just being me, and I am going to experience something that will make me happy. He doesn't mind that he won't be there, because he knows, that sometimes, just sometimes, there are things I have to do on my own, and that doesn't make me love him any less. He told me to go, have fun, save my money for me to do this, and not to worry about stuff financially. His open nature to let me be the independently yet loyal spouse does wonders for my ego, my heart, and my soul. He gets me, and I don't know how or why, but when I have the sudden realizations about it, I feel like a bird soaring through the sky with happiness.

I know this post is all mushy and gushy, but I can't help it; It's how I feel. I am basking in the afterglow of love, of excitement, of inner-peace and happiness. This is how awesome my life can be. It's a great feeling, and I am glad I can take moments like this, file them away and remember when I need a pick-me-up. Nights like last night are the reason I love my husband so dearly, no matter the day to day annoyances of marriage, or tiffs, or whatever. In the end, our love and respect for each other perseveres...and I have manged to keep him in my heart and life for nearly 11 years.

October 12th is our 10th wedding Anniversary. I know we won't do anything hugely spectacular, because, quite frankly, we don't have the money. But somehow I am going to make it special for him. I have to. I don't think that I would be the woman I am today without him, and with a milestone like this, I want to do something for him in return for all the years of love & support he has given to me, despite our differences and hardships. He deserves to get something he's not expecting for once. I've got a few months, but if anyone has any ideas...I'd love to hear them.

And now, I leave you to your Thursday. Tomorrow will be less lovey-dovey, most likely, but thanks for humoring me and reading.

I love being in love with my husband! And I love to tell the whole world! *squee*

~Cissa