Well not really. I am bored, hot, and annoyed by my child. I don't have anything to say...my brain and motivation is drained.
I need a shower and a nap before Sex and The City: The Movie tonight...
other than that...I got nothing...
Have a great weekend...I know I will!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Well not really. I am bored, hot, and annoyed by my child. I don't have anything to say...my brain and motivation is drained.
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/30/2008 01:17:00 PM
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Life is throwing everyone a bunch of curve balls, figuratively, right now. Even my "perfect" little world is kinda sucky. I will try my hardest not to complain, because , really, there are people who have MUCH BIGGER ISSUES than me right now.
Here's a little tidbit from my life--
Misk's got some health issues that were brought to light over the last month. He's on like 4 meds, 2 nasal sprays, doctor appointments like at least once a week....and this is mainly NOT for his recovering foot, on which he had surgery 3 months ago....an excerpt from my email yesterday:
Hi love, just writing to see how your appointment went with Ear Nose and Throat Doc? I'm dying of curiosity! Hope you are having a good day!
(background- the Doc who did his annual physical said his blood oxygen levels were low, checked his nose and found it to be almost completely blocked by the septum, hence the low O2 levels...can't get full oxygen out of one nostril you know.)
I have two problems with this -- One, UM HELLO! More Surgery! On his nose! My precious Misk's crooked nose! I love his nose, except when it's snoring, and hopefully this will fix that, but still...Well the appointment....went....I am getting surgery on my
nose...lol....they are gonna fix it guess. The surgery is going to be in either July or late June. I will be getting about a week of convalescent leave for it also. Anyway that's about all I know. How is you day. I think I am starting to get sick. I feel the sore throat coming on.
Hopefully it will go away though. Talk to you later.
Oh yeah, and two? "July or LATE JUNE"?? He cannot have surgery late June. I am going to BrittCon, damn it! He cannot screw this up for me!! Okay, I realize there's no choice in the matter, and he needs the surgery....but I really do not want to miss out because I am taking care of Misk and his nose *le sigh*
Yeah I am complaining. But really it's half hearted. He needs to be well. I know this.
Top this with the fact that my mother is STILL here, and she was supposed to be gone a week ago. He boyfriend in Maine still hasn't gotten his shit together and gotten down here to get her. Misk says we should just buy her a bus ticket and send her on her way. My theory is that if we do that, we are going to leave her with a tie here, a reason, a fall-back; she will still have bags and furniture and a cat here. And I pretty much DO NOT want that. I have enough shit to worry about. I shouldn't have to have to worry about taking care for a 50-year-old woman who is perfectly capable of getting her own life together, but is so used to others taking care of her that she won't....I simply haven't the energy or desire to do it anymore.
So I am stuck in the proverbial rock and a hard place. Do I tell my mother she needs to get out like ASAP? Or do I wait patiently and pray and hope that this "moving to Maine" doesn't fall through? As each day passes, I feel more and more dread that it won't happen. And I am flipping the fuck out internally. The anger is there too. I am angry that I am in this situation, angry at myself, because I put myself there, and angry at my mother for not having the bloody strength to get her shit in gear. I am also angry that my family is suffering. Nobody wants her here anymore. Our downstairs, normally a place of fun and refuge, is avoided as much as possible. How sad is it that we can't even stand to be in our own house? My poor kids, I've done this to them; I've made them hate their home life. I've subjected them to their grandmother who is accusatory, cruel, and selfish, and lashes out at them when they "disturb" her by playing, talking or whatever. It's a vicious circle of anger, and I hate the bad vibes this house gives off. It's killing me inside, truly. I can't even do a ritual cleansing, because she's still here!!
I feel so...guilty, I guess is the word. Ungrateful. Seriously. For blogging about this, and I know many of you will be saying to yourselves "Jeez, doesn't this chick EVER blog about anything else??" Well, at the moment, no, I don't...because I can only focus on 3 things at a time.
Of course, I am worried about a blogger "friend" who is having the worst rough patch possible in her life. I am thinking of another blogger friend who has had to see her hometown in the aftermath of Mother Nature's destruction. Their problems are so much bigger than mine. but for the moment, there isn't anything I can do to help them...and so I sit and brood. And the brooding produces thoughts of my immediate drama in life, and so...I blog about it, because I don't have any other outlet at 9:30 in the morning on a Thursday.
I am trying my best to stay positive and keep myself out of depression, but I feel the walls closing in on my happiness and I am falling...and I am out of ideas to resolve my issues....
I need a miracle...or a winning lottery ticket.....
I hope you all can make it though your week. I need this weekend like nobody's business. I need to get out of here, and I know I will leave my husband and kids behind. But I need to. I need to get away and be CISSA....no...I need to be Heather...because that's the real me....HEATHER
And Heather needs some happiness and freedom from the weight on her heart and shoulders...like ASAP.....
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/29/2008 08:09:00 AM
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
One of my favorite expressions when things go to all hell for myself or someone I know is "when it rains, it pours".
I think it's a fucking torrential downpour for one of my blog buddies at this point.
Miss Britt, of whom BrittCon is all about has had some major rain...Well, actually a tornado, in her hometown of Parkersburg, Iowa. Britt's fine, since she now lives in the lovely state of Florida, but her husband's family, and also possibly Nanna, her mama (who hasn't posted since Saturday and I am freaking out about) lost everything. Miss Britt and her family packed up and headed to Iowa yesterday, and right about now have made it to Iowa to help out with clean-up and helping her in-laws to get supplies, etc.
I will try to keep all posted on how you can help, if you are so inclined. But all I can ask is that you keep the little town of Parkersburg, Iowa in your thoughts and prayers.
All of my ramblings on this site almost seem crass and idiotic after learning about the misfortune and devastations that have happened. I feel myself going into a funk, but am trying my damnedest to stay positive. Not that it really matters, in the big picture, what I have to say, if you really think about it....
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/27/2008 07:03:00 AM
Monday, May 26, 2008
Today is a National Holiday to honor those who have served the United States to keep our Freedoms intact. The US has lost so many soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen over it's nearly 300 year history, it's unfathomable to know that these men and women have sacrificed so that we can enjoy so much that we take for granted.
I for one, find today especially emotional. Being the wife of a Sailor has it's tough moments. Especially for some of my friends, whose husbands are currently "out there" doing their job. I have been in their shoes, obviously, and though my husband is home right now, I know that theoretically, sometime in the near future, my husband will be back on a boat doing this again.
So, I know that I personally will be participating in the "National Moment of Silence" today at 3 PM. But it won't be just for the service members who gave their lives, and who continue to do so that we should honor and remember...please remember that wives, husbands, children, mothers and fathers also serve this country. Many of us sacrifice our own lives, jobs, minds, and hearts when our military member leaves for a deployment, whether on land, sea or air. over 4,000 men and women from the United States have now died in the Middle East this time around. The immediate family members of those who we have lost in the last 7 years should also be honored, because they have been home, they have suffered the greatest loss, and silently (for the most part) have sacrificed their lives as well to keep this country Free.
God(dess) Bless the U.S.A. Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/26/2008 10:06:00 AM
Sunday, May 25, 2008
What's that saying? - "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry"
Yep, that sums up my life in one sentence.
I never did get to go dancing on Friday. But a good time was had by my friends and I none the less. For the most part, when stupid women drama didn't interfere....also...
Misk ended up ruining my night as I was trying to get to sleep. I don't want to get too much into it. Let's just say, he was on my shit list all day yesterday, and I nearly almost was going to have the cops called on me. But I resisted the urge to use the baseball bat on his head....I'm not joking. I was that pissed off at him.
Lesson for men from Cissa: DO NOT fuck with a woman when she is at "that time of the month". More men go to hospitals or morgues that way.
Today is Sunday, and usually in about an hour, I would be going to work...but not today! Today, I get to stay home...til 5 pm anyway! Boss Man decided that today and tomorrow the restaurant is closed for the holiday. The bar is open, and tonight I will be bartending for the very first time!
Pros of this:
1. BETTER TIPS - I have had crap for tips this week, seriously. I'll pull in at least double if not triple of a normal waitressing shift.
2. NO UNIFORM - i can wear whatever I want...oh yeah sexy, low-cut, cleavage-showing tops. I'm no fool - sex sells, and showing cleavage will get me lots of compliments and better tips. I could use both after a super slow day yesterday.
3. I GOT TO SLEEP IN! - 'nuff said
Cons of this:
1. I won't get to be Turnbaby's guest tonight on Blog Talk Radio. I felt terrible, but...I need the money for BrittCon. Luckily she graciously understood - YOU ROCK TURNBABY!
2. I will miss ALL of the great Blog Talk Radio Sunday shows. Kind of a bummer. Sorry Karl, Hilly, Mr. Fab and Turnbaby...
3. I will not get to bed until late tonight. This is only a minor con, since I can sleep in tomorrow.
Wow, that's about it for me today....I hope you all are having a great Memorial Day Weekend. Tomorrow I have a big ole party to go to at Brandi's. I am excited. I love hanging out with my friends! For now, it's off to dye the roots, get some groceries, and make some pasta salad for tomorrow...YUM
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
p.s. Please remember WHY tomorrow is a holiday folks. As the bumper sticker says "If you love your Freedom, THANK A VET!" (and that goes for ALL active, reserve and National Guard military too!)
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/25/2008 09:36:00 AM
Friday, May 23, 2008
It's Friday, and we all know what that means for me -- Girl's Night Out!
Tonight, as a continuation from last week, we are getting some people pierced. Last week when we showed up, the piercer had had a family emergency and had left only 15 minutes before we arrived. So tonight we go back. After that dinner, I am sure, then we are heading to a club in Norwich - Bella Notte
I am a little hesitant about this, because tonight is R&B night. And this is going to sound terrible, but....though I can dance, I feel uneasy about it. Looking around the pictures for Friday nights, it seems there will be a lot of people there, and I don't do well with large crowds, add in the fact that the music there I can dance to, but don't really like? yeah, again, not so sure.
But I am going to gather my courage and try my damnedest to have a good time. At least at this club I can sit down, when my feet start to hurt from high heels. The last time we went clubbing, if you wanted to sit you had to either rent a booth for $200 for the night, or go to the restrooms and sit in the chairs there....yeah....
So my main issue with tonight is clothes shopping. I went to try and find a new dress, and found...absolutely nothing that looked good on me. I felt like a beached whale, to be honest, and so going to a place that is essentially a meat market, with several women who are definitely skinnier than myself, I feel very...not so pretty....like last time I went clubbing, I am almost positive I will end up watching purses while my other friends are asked to dance. Yep, I'm that girl...the one who drinks by herself and watches everyone else having a good time....I am praying against all hope that tonight, just for a little while, someone will at least find me attractive enough to dance with me for a few minutes, so someone else can watch the purses for a change....
I usually am not as self-conscious about my looks or weight, but I fear a repeat of last time I went out with my friends. I know I am not a young girl anymore, and I know that being married repels some people. But I do have that ego, and though it was enlarged greatly earlier this week, that doesn't mean I wouldn't like it to happen again tonight! I probably wouldn't feel so bad if shopping hadn't been a complete disaster and waste of time. I may like to see fashion, but apparently todays fashions were not made with a full figured woman in mind. This bums me out, but I suppose I'll get by...
So I'm off to pack for tonight and get ready to meet the girls in a few hours..
I hope you all have a great weekend!
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/23/2008 12:53:00 PM
Thursday, May 22, 2008
It's already Thursday. It hardly seems real. This week has flown by so quickly, and even if I were to attempt to tell you all about it, it would fall woefully short of the impact of positive experiences I have been through. It's been a week that makes me love my life. No matter the hardships I've faced, underneath there is the core of my existence: happiness and love.
Every week, I find myself renewed in my love for my husband. Every week, he'll say something, do something, big or small, that makes my heart swell and I can't fathom that I could possibly love this man more than I did previously. Last night was one of those nights.
It wasn't anything major. We went out to dinner, just us, no kids, then after dinner, walked around Mystic to this little Irish pub and had a pint. What was so great was the conversation. He let me talk about everything and anything, interjecting his thoughts here and there, but mainly just listening. His eyes were intent on me, and I knew he wasn't just hearing...he was listening.
He was encouraging and open to my thoughts and comments. We aren't terribly well off by any means, but when I started to talk about BrittCon and all the folks that I am excited to meet and run around NYC with, he got it. He knew and let me know that I'm just being me, and I am going to experience something that will make me happy. He doesn't mind that he won't be there, because he knows, that sometimes, just sometimes, there are things I have to do on my own, and that doesn't make me love him any less. He told me to go, have fun, save my money for me to do this, and not to worry about stuff financially. His open nature to let me be the independently yet loyal spouse does wonders for my ego, my heart, and my soul. He gets me, and I don't know how or why, but when I have the sudden realizations about it, I feel like a bird soaring through the sky with happiness.
I know this post is all mushy and gushy, but I can't help it; It's how I feel. I am basking in the afterglow of love, of excitement, of inner-peace and happiness. This is how awesome my life can be. It's a great feeling, and I am glad I can take moments like this, file them away and remember when I need a pick-me-up. Nights like last night are the reason I love my husband so dearly, no matter the day to day annoyances of marriage, or tiffs, or whatever. In the end, our love and respect for each other perseveres...and I have manged to keep him in my heart and life for nearly 11 years.
October 12th is our 10th wedding Anniversary. I know we won't do anything hugely spectacular, because, quite frankly, we don't have the money. But somehow I am going to make it special for him. I have to. I don't think that I would be the woman I am today without him, and with a milestone like this, I want to do something for him in return for all the years of love & support he has given to me, despite our differences and hardships. He deserves to get something he's not expecting for once. I've got a few months, but if anyone has any ideas...I'd love to hear them.
And now, I leave you to your Thursday. Tomorrow will be less lovey-dovey, most likely, but thanks for humoring me and reading.
I love being in love with my husband! And I love to tell the whole world! *squee*
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
OhMiGawd! I love your hair!!
I heard that about 100 times yesterday, and believe me, it didn't get old, not once.
so, a review....This is me about 2 weeks ago maybe 3:
and this is a few pictures of my new look:
I got many many many compliments from this cut. I was told by several people I look at least 5 if not 10 years younger. I was told by a few men that if they didn't know I was married, they'd ask me out!
One regular customer even offered to buy me a drink while I was still working!
The best part of yesterday was giving my boss the Letter of Resignation. He wasn't surprised, as I had told him I would have to quit eventually. But he was very gracious and even thanked me for putting it in writing and giving him 30 days to find and train my replacement. Later that night, he even offered to take me on as his book keeper if I couldn't find a job in an office as I am going to try and do.
So about 6:15pm my friends, Nicky, Brandi & Erin showed up. They were dealing with LGeneral Life and also Boat Wife Drama, and were feeling the need for alcohol. They all went nuts over my hair. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time so many people had such nice things to say about how I look. I felt more beautiful yesterday than I had in along time...anyway...
So after work, I ended over at Brandi's where we watched National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. Good movie by the way, I recommend at least Netflixing it if you have not seen it yet. SO after some good laughs and movie watching with my girls, I headed home.
Where Misk promptly deflated my "I Feel Pretty" bubble:
"You cut your hair? What did you do that for?"
I pretty much said, "Wow, thanks for making me feel lousy, everyone else I saw today all had nothing but great things to say about my hair. Good night." and went to bed. I wanted to cry, but I was too tired. I did stew over it for a while, and decided on a few nasty remarks to Misk would let him know he was on my shitlist.
today after the usual "good Morning" email I get the following from Misk:
P.S. I do like your hair, it was just a shock to me…..love you
yeah I do feel a little better now....so I guess the scathing revenge remarks will have to wait for another day...*le sigh*
But I still feel pretty!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Yesterday started as a lousy day. but, it got lots better about 3:45 pm when Kaity got pulled from the Lottery for All-Day Kindergarten next year. I was so excited! And happy! I finally had the kick in the ass to do what I have been wanting to do. I have been hoping and praying that Kaity would get in to All-Day so that I can have the motivation to get a job during the day-time, so that I can be with my family in the evenings. So here's a few of the drafts of the letter I'll hand to my boss today at 4:00 PM....
I QUIT YOU JERK!!
p.s. can I still work til June 19th though?
a little harsh, I know....lemme try this again...maybe a bit more explination...
Fireheart HouseHrm...too many big words, plus I don't need to tell him why. Not obligated, so I won't....
Navy Base, CT
May 20, 2008
Dear Boss Man,
As of this date above, I am giving you official notice of resignation from my position in your establishment, effective June 19th, 2008.
My family comes first. Money is needed, but not so bad that my family has to suffer. You obviously don't get that, because you don't have kids, and your wife works with you. You don't care that I am the primary caretaker of my children and that sometimes, they need me more than they need money. This was very apparent last month when you tried to guilt me into working more hours than I wanted when you little pet worker was out of town. You have no idea what it is like to be me, so don't try to pretend like you do. It's a feeble attempt to manipulate me for your own profit.
As much as I enjoy working for you and our regular customers, the money is not worth the barrage of relationship issues my family has experienced as of late, and with respectful requests from both my husband and children, I am resigning. I hope 30 days notice is sufficient enough for you. It should be. I don't know many waitresses who would do this much for a job that doesn't even pull in $100 in tips a week sometimes.
05/20/08Short but Sweet...it's perfect!
Dear Boss Man,
As of June 19th, 2008 I will be resigning as waitress at Little Restaurant. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you, and I hope you will have continued success with your business.
Now I need to work on my resume and find out about Navy After-school Care... but I can do that tomorrow....
oh and I got a fabulous hair-cut today too...I'll post pics later or tomorrow...Paint Shop Pro is being a royal pain for me, and I haven't the patience right now to figure it out.
Hope Your Tuesday is Totally Tubular,
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/20/2008 11:37:00 AM
Monday, May 19, 2008
Right now I am extremely aggravated. And I am going to sounds like a total ...well...Bitch...
My kids are driving me up a fucking wall and I am ready to give them up for adoption.
ok let me rephrase that. Kaity is driving me insane. Emily, ironically is being an angel.
I was away from them all weekend, being at work and stuff, and you know? I thought I missed them. But this morning? This morning, Kaity has been the biggest pain in the ass....and I am about the drop kick her across this town.
And this is my day off. I am supposed to be able to relax today. But I am not. At 8:15 am, I am already pissed off.
and I have nothing to write about today...gah...
I guess I will clean after all today...what a waste of a perfectly nice day *sigh*
Happy Monday Folks,
Friday, May 16, 2008
And the good news is that I don't have pneumonia! Woot! But I knew that.
The bad news? I lost another pound from the very painful and draining side effect of the antibiotic. And I was in the bathroom for 2 hours last night...and another hour this morning...after 4 hours of sleep.
Seriously? I'm over being sick....really....I'm not kidding...
My cough has diminished significantly over the last 24 hours however, so that's a good sign.
Another bonus was that the Doctor I had complained about yesterday afternoon was a completely different personality altogether yesterday at my appointment. Apparently whatever crawled up his ass on Tuesday had been extracted, because he was very personable this time around.
So yeah things are turning around for me...sorta....
I can't wait to drop the kids off and come home...can you say Nap Time?
I will probably post again later, before my girls night out. or maybe I will just take pictures of tonight's activities.....people are getting pierced!
Except me. I don't think I could, being on antibiotics and all....plus, Misk respectfully requested that I not pierce myself.
And to think I considered getting a nipple done! haha! Oh well, his loss I suppose.....
Enjoy your Friday Folks!
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/16/2008 06:26:00 AM
Thursday, May 15, 2008
So I have been trying on and off, unsuccessfully, since about 10:30 this morning to take a nap. I feel fatigued, I know that the trip to the doctor's will probably wear me out, so I figure if I rest, then I will be able to have some energy, right?Easy, simple, I'll just lay here for a few minutes.....um 20 minutes....25.....30....
Nope. Damn. Three times I tried.
So I gave up, got dressed and came here to kill some time after catching up on the ole twitter.....
I totally do not want to go to this doctor's appointment.
Not that I fear he's gonna tell me I have pneumonia, cause I really think I'd be a lot worse if I did. I'm not scared of anything, really. I just don't like the guy I am going to see. He was a total tool to me at my last visit, and I have been uneasy at the thought of going back.....
You see, folks, who don't know anything about Military Benefits, when your Primary Care Manager (PCM) is not available for a same-day appointment, they just send you to some other PCM in the clinic. Usually I score awesomely with the Doc lotto. I even changed my PCM to get the guy I have now, due to 1 appointment with him, he was that awesome...and unfortunately is on vacation, so I got a replacement Doc. This is apparently not my week, because although it is somewhat hazy (hey I did have a 102 degree fever after all), I do specifically recall the Lieutenant who I was assigned to for the appointment was terse, impatient, and had horrible bedside manner.
One specific thing really set off all my alarms: cough medicine with Codeine.
He wanted to give it to me so I could sleep...this is what happened...that I can recall...
Cissa: "Yeah, that doesn't work for me."
Doc Jerk: "It doesn't work for you?"
Cissa: "Nope, when I had bronchitis back in February or March, I was given some and--"
Doc Jerk: "Ok ok, fine I'll give you Mucinex" *scribble scribble into my file*
Cissa: *blink, blink, turn to look at Misk and shrug* O...Kay....*hack hack hack* ugh....
Now, I don't claim to be any kind of medical genius. but I DO have a bit of a college education, have friends and family that are nurses, AND have spent enough time in the military medical system to know that when a patient tells a doctor that a drug that is supposed to do one thing does another, the doctor should inquire more into it....Call me crazy, insane even. But I do know basic medical and military protocol, especially the Navy: it's ask questions till the horse is dead, beaten, disintegrated and turned to dust before solving the problem or jumping to the next issue.
Maybe this Lieutenant didn't want to be there past 4 pm, but that is no reason why he had to be a jerk to me, a patient who was ill...and still is. If he didn't want to be in the Navy, where there are no set hours, then he should have though twice before signing the dotted line. Even if he's Lieutenant, he's still getting paid nicely by the navy for being an officer and a doctor. Surely that nice little paycheck, that's most likely twice what Misk makes at his rank, could soften him a little into a better bedside manner?
Today is his second chance. if he's a jerk again, I am going straight to the patient advocate and registering a complaint.
No one messes with a sick Cissa. I can be a total bitch when I am sick and cranky.....
as opposed to the rest of the time when it's bitch on a whim hehe......
*hacking, although not as much this afternoon*
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/15/2008 01:34:00 PM
This illness has gone on long enough. I am tired of it.
Not only am I tired of it, I am tired of feeling useless, breathless, hacking, and rather un-lovely side effects of my medications that have helped me to lose 7 lbs in the last 3 days. One of those side effects? Not being hungry...the other?...let's just say..what little that does go in, comes back out, rather quickly and without much notice before I can dispose of it in the proper receptacle....
I can't wait to feel better...I wonder how my jeans will fit?
One thing I have learned about having bronchitis again, is that I have awesome friends. One had a lengthy convo with me as I hacked away on the phone and asked her to come to BrittCon with me, since Misk can't go, and honestly, as fun as NYC is, I'm too old and set in my ways to go alone. I like having a travel companion. I hope she says yes...
I have also learned that my friends will go out of their way to help me out in time of sickness. Nicky offered to bring me some of her grandmother's healing tea blends, but has to go all the way to Norwich for some of the herbs, and had no qualms about the 15 miles up and back because I am sick and need it. If that's not an awesome friend who is willing to forgo gas mileage (at $3.89 a gallon) for me, I don't know what is...
At any rate, I have things to take care of today, and I can't, because quite honestly, I can tell I am weaker today than yesterday. I have had to actually take a break from typing to let my arms rest. It's very disheartening to feel so....lousy...I can't drive anywhere, really, because I am afraid I will get the shakes from my inhaler again like I did last night, and end up in an accident. I hate that I have coughing fits after going down then back up a flight of stairs, which normally wouldn't wind me. I would very much like to be able to take my kids to school so they don't have to be subject to my mother's mean-spirited berating outside of my ear-shot. I caught her this morning doing it and as weak as I was, made sure to let her know she needed to cut the crap. But there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do from the confines of the bed or latrine.
Man, and I hate that I have become a big ole whiny baby.....
I am hoping my current condition increases in quality today, so I can drive myself to the doctor's at 3:30. I'd have Misk bring me like the other day, but he'll already be at the medical clinic, and will hopefully be meeting me there after his appointment.
I'm just ready to be better.....seriously.....
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
yeah, I've got some free time....*hack hack hack* so here is some lovely copy and paste-ness for those who are attending BrittCon 2008!
Ok back to bed I go....I was to lazy to set up the laptop.....maybe I will do that now......*hack hack* ugh.....
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/14/2008 09:30:00 AM
It hasn't even been 2 months since I last had Bronchitis. So imagine my un-surprise when I went to the doctors yesterday and was diagnosed with it. Then I was sent for a chest x-ray, because Doc suspects pneumonia as a possibility as well.
Yesterday was mainly filled with sleeping, 102 fever, sweating, then sleeping again....a nearly perfect circle throughout the day of the same stuff.
I feel a bit better today, but not as much as I'd like. Being in the office where Misk smokes irritates my lungs and it's taking me forever to finish this post because I have to stop for coughing fits.
I need to use the inhaler then go back to bed....but I wanted to let you all know what's up, in case you wonder why the annoying chick isn't commenting everywhere...
I think I might go set up my laptop in bed.....then I can at least keep up....
Monday, May 12, 2008
The following images are for Miss Britt, who I am going to have the opportunity to meet next month!!
I am SUPER PSYCHED!!
The first is a huge graphic, but I am not as cool as Dave from Blogography or Avitable or any of you other cool graphic people out there...it's ghetto, but oh, fun to make....
and then a smaller one....still ghetto, but again, I had fun....
Hope you enjoy Miss Britt! I can't wait to meet you and the others who will be meeting at BrittCon!! :)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Overheard things from my children, giving me reasons to love being a mother...
At 5:24 AM
Kaity: Emily Emily!! Where are you!! Emily! I need Emily! (I am awoken to the cry of Kaity, trudging out of bed, I go to her room and try to comfort her)
Me: Emily's at her sleepover honey, do you wanna come crawl in bed with me? Emily will be home tomorrow.
Kaity: No Mommy...Emily will be home to play tomorrow?
Me: Yes, baby...
Kaity: OK, I can sleep til she comes....
About 10:30 AM
(Kaity is laying in bed with Misk and being silly while I dress for work)
Kaity: Do you gots work today, Daddy?
Kaity: Good! I can snuggle with you all day! Snuggle Snuggle Snuggle! (Kaity proceeds to snuggle her face into the crook of Misk's arm)
I have to work tomorrow for brunch, so I won't be posting ....
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wow. There are some mad and depressed bloggers out there this week. Seriously. Ouch.
I actually feel bad for having such a great life and being happy.
I wanted to post something noble and stuff, but it's just not in me.
And it seems rather...damn what's the word? Ivory-towering-esque... Like I think I am better than everyone. I'm not. I have my flaws, I have my issues. Plus it would be somewhat disrespectful to those folks who are having a tough time right now. Who am I to try and make them feel inferior by saying how great things are? It's would be presumptuous...pompus -- yes that's the word! And that's not cool. No one should try and make themselves feel better by bringing others down.
But in the end, I have my health, my life and my family. I am grateful for all of that. And I can't help but share my happiness to the world. I am humbly happy.
Last night, I spent some quality time with Misk and the kids. It was great. Today, in between folding and putting away the mountain of clothes, I have been reading and commenting on people's blogs. Simplicity in its finest.
But the thing I can't wait to do tonight is to cuddle up in bed and watch TV with Misk, after the kids have gone to bed, and hang out again. It may not happen, but I know it will happen again eventually.
I hope that the bloggers who are having down and out days feel better. I hope the ones who have had great experiences at TequilaCon and learned something good about themselves and others keep that positive vibe going.
I hope we all can get out of the funk that seems to be flowing into the world though. It's a downer. I don't like it. But like all things, I know this too shall pass.
Tomorrow is Friday after all -- how can you not be excited? I know I am! :)
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/08/2008 11:46:00 AM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
last night as I was getting ready for bed, I hear Misk chuckle from the bathroom. He opens the door and says "Look at this."...I go around the door to look at the tub and Misk says "Graffiti cat is in your tub, hehehe." I immediately dashed for the camera and got the shot. Then I visited icanhascheezburger.com and made this....
moar funny pictures
And so, there you are....Bella, our girl kitty in her own LOL cats pic debut!
Yeah, totally goofing off today folks....
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/07/2008 11:05:00 AM
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Ok, I am really ticked off this morning. Yesterday was a crappy day, and I thought, after cooling off and doing some breathing exercises to calm me down, I'd head to the bookstore and get some more books. Because, you see, 10 shelves over flowing ith books between Misk and I is not nearly enough.
After spending an hour and $60 on books, I settled into a comfy chair at the cafe with my small Mocha (damn place was out of Javakula mix!), and started reading. After another hour I felt much better indeed. I picked up The Bugaboo (Kaitlyn) from school, let her have a little play date at her friend's, then headed home to chill out some more before work.
Work, you ask? But Cissa, wasn't it Monday, your DAY OFF?? Why, yes, dear friends and readers, it was. But, alas, the girl who had been gone for 2 weeks (and whom I had covered MOST of her shifts, mind you) was apparently NOT able to make it because she wasn't back yet, or so I was told.
So, fiddle-dee-dee, there I am at work, a few tables but still pretty quiet, blah blah blah. The phone rings, and I look at the caller ID, inform my boss that it is the girl who's shift I am covering, and let him pick up the kitchen extension. He's chatting away and I hear...
"So, did you just get back?"
"Mm-hmm...a Chicken Gyro? OK see you in a bit."
If my face wasn't previously severely sunburnt at that point, it would have quickly gone as red as it was already. I'm rather certain I did start to turn purple, though. I. was. pissed.
Apparently the girl was back, in town, and had been all day. Not only that, but she had the effing GALL to call in a TAKE OUT ORDER AND COME IN AND PICK IT UP WHILE I WORKED HER EFFING SHIFT!!
Breathe Cissa, breathe......ok, I'm good.
Now, perhaps some of you may think I am over-reacting. Seriously? I am not. If you are going to call in and say you can't come in to work a shift at your job, why would you think it is OK to come in to the place for take-out ??? A couple people I have talked to about it have told me I should have said no to working the shift. Perhaps this is true. But I honestly do not think it would have changed a thing. She still would have come in, thus showing off to whoever was working. It's rude. It's incinsiderate. It's just plain wrong. Especially when I found out what happened at home after arriving back there about 9:30 last night.
Apparently, all the extra shifts I have taken on in the last 2 weeks is really upsetting my kids. Emily more than Kaitlyn, but I think that's because Kait sees me for a few hours after Pre-K, and I am already gone by the time Em gets home. When she got home and asked where I was, my mother told her. She cried hysterically for quite a while.
"She Lied! She Lied! She doesn't love us! Why is she always working?!"
I just about broke down and cried myself when my mother told me how upset Emily got. It's still ripping my heart out. Looking back on yesterday evening, I am more upset about the girl coming in because of my child's reaction to me not being home. She could have worked, but didn't. I know the other waitress who was offered the shift and she also turned it down to spend time with her kids. I am angry at myself for being so nice, because honestly, at that moment, I felt so taken advantage of, and that also angers me.
I don't know what to do. The money has been good, as far as getting my paychecks anyway. But I feel like I am burning out of this job lately. It's starting to affect my kids, and I'd rather live a simpler life and be home more than make my children need therapy because I gave them abandonment issues.
I talked to Emily today and explained to her why I worked, and apologized for not letting her know Monday before school. She was OK about it, but I could tell she was still very upset, and when she asked me if I was working again tonight, the broken look on her face when I answered yes said it all.
As I have said time and time again, Mother of the Year, I am not. And I continue to prove it over and over again.
Hope you all have had a better day. I'm going to go drown in a Diet Coke and a cigarette.
Monday, May 05, 2008
I am sunburnt and it HURTS. And not in a normal way sunburnt, I mean like ONLY my face.
Seriously. After 3 layers of Aloe Vera and a good nights sleep, I am not any less red in the face than I was upon arriving home last night just before being on Mr. Fab's radio show. I was still riding out the adrenaline of the days activities to fully appreciate how red in the face (literally) I was. After signing off and finally looking in a mirror, I understood why my friend called me "beet red".
Normally, this wouldn't bother me, because I know it's a sign that it will tan out, which it usually does. But it's my whole face. And then it started to hurt, and radiate heat. And then I did something stupid.
I had an itch on my nose, and of course went to scratch it. BAD IDEA.
The pain was so intense from my little scratching, that my eyes watered up and I yelled in pain. I had to sleep on my back yesterday, because I couldn't lay on my pillow. The contact to my SOFT PILLOW caused too much pain!
Layer after layer of Aloe Vera goes on my skin. I hoe that I will tan out nicely the next few days.....
Hope you all have a good Monday. Mine has NOT been so great. AND, I have to work tonight -- UGH!
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/05/2008 07:13:00 AM
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Wow, fairly obscure song for today's post.
It's Sunday! WOOT!! I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY!!
I have been waiting for today for 2 weeks! YEAH!!
I am heading off in a while to Brandi's. Then we are heading to some other part of CT for some May Pole Dancing! heh. In the rain! AW YEAH!!
I'm practical and packed extra clothes. I am smart like that.
Tonight though, man, tonight is gonna be awesome. My co-hosting/guest-being at Mr.Fab's Radio Show!! Here is a direct link to the show. Warning: You won't get much of anything until about 5 minutes before the show starts.....keep that in mind!
He was a little nasty, but he of course, posted about it this morning on his blog. He seems to think that I might get offended or something. I think Ole Fabby forgets that I am a SAILOR'S WIFE. HAHA...There's not much I haven't heard, although with Mr. Fab, it is possible that I haven't heard a thing or two. But I doubt very much I'll be bothered or offended...haha.
So, all those drunks --- I mean, "lucky TequilaCon Attendees", might end up showing up to listen in. I hope so. I may be insanely jealous of them, but that doesn't mean I don't want them to listen. After all, it's all about me....and my insanity....muahaha!
And besides, I have an ideal idea for a spot for next year's tequila Con....I'll tell you all about it tonight!! But I will give you a hint.....It's close to where I live, AND has slot machines, poker tables and FABULOUS (i.e. expensive) SHOPPING!!!
Hope you all tune in to the show tonight!
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Ok, seriously? Fridays are the BEST. DAYS. EVER. They have officially replaced Mondays as my favorite day of the week, for two reasons.
1.) I don't have to work and I get a break form the kids during the day.
Much like Mondays...except that in addition to this happiness...
2.) I get to hang out with my girlfriends, which most of the time leads to drunken debauchery, yet we stay manage to never get in trouble and not get too hungover.
For the first time in a loooong time, that I can remember, I actually got too drunk to drive without having previously appointed a Designated Driver. It all worked out of course and I got driven home, but herein lies the problem: Misk was supposed to drive me to work this morning, because, guess what? We went drinking and singing Karaoke at my work. But he is fast asleep, having been stupid enough to think that he could stay up all night so he could drive me in this morning. Snoring away, he is. I can't even get him to roll over onto his side so he'll stop.
I love the man, but sometimes, he doesn't use his best judgment. Obviously he won't be able to drive me in to work in about 40 minutes. So now I have to drive his shitbox myself, and I still end up with a car being left at work. Guess which one I am NOT driving home?
I was smart in the end though. Before I even left the bar, I had two big glasses of water, and took two headache pills and another glass at home before passing out. This morning, I had toast to suck up what's left of the alcohol. I'm not even hungover. Just tired.
But if I was, last night was totally worth it!
Have a great Saturday. Don't forget -- I am the guest on Mr. Fab's Radio Show tomorrow at 7:00 PM!!
This Fire Sparked by Cissa Fireheart at 5/03/2008 09:17:00 AM
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of my step-dad's death. Mom handled it pretty well, I think. She excited about the new chapter in her life, but she was quiet yesterday, naturally.
Yesterday was a great day of reflection for me. It was rather relaxing. Went to new Haven, got the last session in for Angie at Dental School. My teeth are so clean and white now!
But today, is a joyous day. I am celebrating.
It's Beltane, better known as May Day.
Spring is in full swing, flowers blooming, trees budding and blooming. Nature is waking up and saying HEY PAY ATTENTION!! THE WORLD IS ALIVE AGAIN!!
One of the best things about today was early, early, just after midnight. Misk and I were laying in bed, just..talking...about all sorts of things. And I got his support for some future personal and spiritual endeavors, as well as his interest in it and his own knowledge of things. He is the best husband ever I tell you! We talked on a level that we don't usually, and I was so excited to hear what he had to say. I felt like I was surrounded in a cocoon of love. I know it sounds all mushy and gushy, but really. I truly haven't felt this close to him in a long time.
Sunday I will gather with some friends and celebrate. We'll have a May Pole and everything. I can't wait.
Did I mention that later that evening I will be the guest to Mr. Fab's Radio Show? hehe Hope you all will tune in!
Tomorrow is a gonna be a fun day. Misk and I will bring the kids to Kids Karnival at the Sub Base Youth Center. I get to sign the kids up for Cheerleading, eat carnival food and go on rides! WOOT!
Well I gotta get ready for my last day of 6 days straight of work...I hope against all hopes I actually have customers tonight! That would be nice for a change. You know, making money....
Have a great Thursday