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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Feeling Better...Kinda

Well after making my appoinment yesterday, my day went uphill. I love going to Emily's class. It always is a learning experience....and it's great to see these kids grow and develop. Amazing really.

But all day, I felt like a zombie. I feel that way today too. My sleep isn't very restful. I think it's time for a trip to the doctors again. I was told back in January that if the Ambien didn't help, that I may have to do a sleep study...which I think COULD help solve my rest issues. I tried doing the Ambien thing for the last 2 nights, but I feel like even more of a walking dead gal. So I will probably have to do that sleep study. My only problem? Hubby gets foot surgery in a week. So if I have to go to a sleep study up in Hartford, I will have to find alternative transportation. Or leave Hubby alone in bed recooperating with the kids. Maybe I can have my mom or dad come and spend the night or something....hrm....

ok. Remember last week when I said "Spring Has Sprung and I am Loving It"? Well, guess what?

IT'S SNOWING OUT!! I've been in IM with Jeopardygirl for..oh 1/2 hour maybe? And already the ground is WHITE...Frickin' Mother Nature. No wonder Emily's getting a cold. Just this last weekend it was 70 and she was riding her new bike. Now it's accumulating snow. *sigh*

So I won't be sending the kids outside while I attempt to clean today -- damn.

I'd like to say thanks to those of you who commented on my psycho ramblings the last couple days. I been freaking out about it since last night. I mean. I have been contemplating the mental health conditions I may possibly have and it is freaking me out. My family has a history of mental issues, so it wouldn't surprise me one bit if I had something more than just plain old depression. I've weened myself off of the Paxil after Kaity was born, and to be honest, I don't really want to be on meds again. It killed my sex life. And the sex has been awesome lately with hubby, and I REALLY don't want to screw that up. But I am also fearful that I'll have more "episodes" like Monday. Damn. I keep assuming. That's a problem for me...Maybe the shrink will be able to help. I sure hope so....

yeah I'm rambling. But my brain is going full throttle and I don't feel insane. Like all my rational thoughts we put on hold the last couple days, and all of a sudden - BAM - here they are, just flowing out of my hands as I type.

Wow, I really am a mental case, aren't I?

Gotta go. Kids want a different movie in the DVD and it't time to clean the pit of a house I live in. Maybe I'll send the kids to their room for 2 hours so I can clean....

Update: I don't know why I never thought of this before. We have a portable DVD player that we use on road trips. I hooked it up to the TV in the kids room after Emily said to me: "I wish I could watch DVD's in my room when I'm sick, Mom. Can we get a DVD player for our room?" That set off a thought for me, and ba-da-bing, I was inspired and remembered the portable DVD player. I swear, strokes of genius inspired by Emily are the best....

1 flame(s) added to the fire:

Dr.John said...

I'm glad you decided to keep bloging. I feel like your a friend and i need all the friends I can get.